A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not really sure whether anyone can help me on here, but, I thought I'd give it a try. This is going to be pretty long, as it's so complicated, but I would really appreciate help.So where to start? I've known this guy, let's just call him "C", for about 6 years now. I absolutely love him to pieces, he was someone that I didn't see often, but when I did, it was just perfect. For the past 3 years we crossed the friend boundary into something more intense, and I have no idea what to do anymore.A lot of C's relationships in the past 3 years have failed because he's always come back to me. And all of mine have failed for simliar reasons. I used to think I was just insanely attracted to him, and kept telling myself it was just for the physical aspect. But sometimes we just lie there all day together talking about anything and everything, and it's just right.He's said in the past he was falling for me, but followed up with "I don't want this to mess up". He's had countless girls mess him about, but he's never asked me to be his girlfriend. He gets so close, then backs off and gets hurt by someone else again.This all sounds like the average problem. However, now add in the fact that "C" is a paranoid schizophrenic. He comes complete with hallucinations, both visual and auditory. He can't sleep, and he rarely leaves the house anymore. It's killing me to see someone I think I actually love, live like this. Last night with me was the first time he'd slept in 3 days, and he said it makes him feel better just having me there..So what does everyone think? Is his illness the reason behind this situation? Does he just need me for the emotional attention? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThere isn't a UK branch, I've looked. It's Australia based.
&I'm already "involved" really, because he's one of my best friends. Do you suggest leaving completely then? Or..?
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 December 2009):
 I am sorry to harp on this but rather than reading up on the illness, please phone ARAFMI and speak to somebody who aleady KNOWS what it is like to be involved with somebody sufferning that illnes.
I doubt they would recommend your becoming involved.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for those responses.
&Thank you for pointing me in the right direction too. I've been reading up about it, so far it's raised issues I was already aware of though, based on what he's told me and what I've seen of him. Up until now he hasn't taken his medication, but I've spoken to him about that and he's opening up to the idea of it.. so that's a step in the right direction for him.
I would tell him exactly how I felt if he didn't have his illness, I'm just scared it'll mess things up for him I guess.
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A
male
reader, brovers +, writes (6 December 2009):
 i think you do love him and he loves you, his illness is not easy to deal with but you seem to love him alot and i think you will be good together, perhaps he do like you being there but you must talk to him tolet him know what you are feeling , also if your not sure about the illness look online about it tohelp you understand what hes thinking good luck
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (6 December 2009):
I think you are lining yourself up for a lot of heartache. Before you progress much futher with this please contact the people at ARAFMI (Association Relatives and Friends of Mentally Ill) and talk to them. I know there is an association in the UK.
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