| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I met a woman at a work conference a few months ago. After the programming, we talked in the hotel bar for several hours before calling it a night and parting ways. Other conference attendees came and went. The discussion covered a lot of ground such as her immediate family members, where she lives, her house, etc.I was very attracted to her and the conversation was flirtatious. She giggled and acted embarrassed a lot when I teased her. She lives in a different part of the country, so I marked it down as just a nice way to spend the evening, having no real expectations for anything more.Last week she emailed me for the first time saying she'd love to see me again and asking if I'd be attending an upcoming conference. In the email she referred to me as a "work friend". She used lots of exclamation points. This would all be fine, except a friend (a work friend) informed me that she's married. This is something she didn't mention at all. I looked into it, and she is.Would a happily married woman talk at length about non-work subjects to a male "work friend" but not drop "my husband..." into conversation to show that she's spoken for?Am I really just a work friend?I am going to the conference. If I see her, should I just ask her straight-up if she's seeing anyone? If she's honest, I'd think that would successfully defuse any chemistry between us.Is she innocent in all this or does she have an affair on her mind?
View related questions:
affair, flirt, married woman Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): She wants you.
The exclamation marks do the same job as inverted commas; suggest something unsaid.
"Rhythmandblues2" is probably right about the sleazy aspect, because she is likely to have done this regularly if she goes to conferences a lot, conveniently forgetting to mention the husband to increase her chances.
Now it's up to you: do you want her enough to have meaningless sex with her once or a few times? Because that's all that is on offer here, for sure.
Or do you respect yourself enough to walk away?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): I think the important question here is what do you have in mind? Are you really that naive? It isn't appropriate for a married woman to spend hours in a bar talking to a man about her life, it isn't appropriate to send you an email saying she would love to see you again, and covering her ass by calling you a work friend and putting exclamation marks after it to make it look like she isn't wanting anything but.
She is a con artist, typical cheater...she knows you want her and all she has to do is drop her guard and get you to drop yours and at the conference you will do what many married people do have sex with a "work friend" and go back to your spouses.
One word "SLEAZY". It is how narcissistic people get by in the world using others to feed their insatiable need for attention. Just don't expect her husband not to come after you if he finds out, or for one of you to lose your jobs depending on your company culture if the word gets out.
Is a roll in the sack with a married woman really worth all that drama?
Find a real woman who is available and single and lives close and doesn't work with you...it can't be that difficult, you must be attractive or she wouldn't have spent five hours chatting you up in a bar.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): She could have been having a great conversation with you as just a person, made a connection and just wants someone to talk to at conferences...Or she's attracted to you and was enjoying the flirting...Or she could want to have an affair and is directing that towards you.
There is no guarantee that she will be honest with you, so you need to decide where YOUR boundaries are and what YOU are comfortable with before you respond to her.
You won't know till you ask her. Just be up-front with her.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 December 2009):
 I think you are just a work friend, and that is the frame of mind you need to take to the conference with you, otherwise you might embarress both of you.
Lots of exclaimation marks dont mean much!!! so I am not sure why you included that comment in your questions!!!
...............................
|
