A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my husband just had a baby 5 weeks ago and ever since we fight and for some reason he irritates me so much he is a marine so I understand he works a lot everyday but he comes home from work and "relaxes" he doesn't help with the baby he doesn't clean up after himself and he does things just to piss me off he throws trash on the floor and I pick it up !! I asked him to do the dishes one day last week and he didn't but I just don't feel connected to him anymore he feels me up and I get frustrated he doesn't ever just come lay with me and cuddle or want to talk he would rather just watch tv or have sex its annoying and I hate it! I feel like we don't have a relationship at all we ust to be so close and happy he says he's happy but I'm not I just don't know how to fix it so we cab be like we ust to! I spend all my time at home with the baby I love it but I would like to get out of the house or spend time at home woth my husband if were both home one is upstairs and the other is down stairs! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): I am a mother if 3 and I understand what you are going through. You are both adjusting to a new situation and he is clearly not doing his part. If your man is working then he will feel he is doing his part. So try to do as much you can before he gets home. Instead of cooking every day, try cooking for 3/4 days at a time. Give him specific things he is supposed to do without nagging and write it up and stick it where he can see it. If he doesnt pick up after himself, leave that thing there. I once did this and it stayed there for 3 days until he realised I was serious. But the best with a man is to give him a routine to do list rather than sending him around like a child. Eg. Monday - trash day(take out trash at 8pm) Tuesday - your turn to cook! Etc. His job is highly pressured and so is yours so try to be understanding of each other. You both need time to adjust.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 December 2009):
 Your husband may not know about the effects of hormones on females, he may also be unaware of the after affects of nine months of pregnancy and then giving birth, and the affects of then having your world and your life turned upside down by this new arrival.
For some men they need to be actually told, and I think in your case the best person to do that telling would be a professional, such as your doctor or a child health nurse (if you have them). Or even a midwife.
But your little family deserves a chance, and being the smart responsible one (ie the woman) its up to you to make sure you get it.
Stop making excuses why you cant do this, and take him by the hand, gently lead him down the path he needs to tread until he can do it for himself. Take him to your doctor, or other professional, and get some help!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know its prolly my hormones but I'm just so unhappy I'm extremely happy with the baby I love taking care of him! But me and my husband arnt close anymore !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know its prolly my hormones but I'm just so unhappy I'm extremely happy with the baby I love taking care of him! But me and my husband arnt close anymore !
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (5 December 2009):
If the baby is only 5 weeks old your hormones are still all out of whack!
Get your husband by the hand and go see your doctor, who should be able to explain to you both how to see your way though this.
Good luck with it all!
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