My ex wanted me to have an abortion, but now he wants visitation rights
Q. Im 18 years old and i have a 3 month old little boy with my ex whose 22. He wants to have some sort of visitation rights but i dont want him to. Since when i found out i was pregnant at 17 he left me for another girl and told me to have an abortion. ...
A. 23 January 2010: Lilibeth, no child can be loved too much, and on the surface it seems he has a grandmother and grandfather and an aunty ready and waiting to just love him and be involved.
Invite them to the baptism, I am going to hope I explain this clearly ... (read in full...)
Life after wife's mastectomy? Anyone been through this?
Q. A couple months ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and she had a mastectomy on one side last week. We think it was detected early, the doctors are quite encouraging, and she seems to be recovering marvelously from the surgery. Final test ...
A. 1 December 2009: I am glad to hear she is keeping herself (and you) busy. You are both in my thoughts, and prayers. ... (read in full...)
Will a married man ever leave his wife if he doesn't have any children?
Q. Back in June I met a man at a convention while on a business trip, although it was just friendly. We exchanged email addresses to be in contact about work-related questions. At the time I was engaged to be married (I have been with him for 3 ...
A. 27 November 2009: I think the problems within your marriage are contributing to your feelings for this other, married man.
Why not leave the other man out of the equasion while you sort out your own life, or are you afraid that if you leave your (unfulfi... (read in full...)
He still tells me he loves me even though he has a new gf!
Q. Me and my boyfriend of a year broke up 3 months ago due to him having feelings for another girl.he is now seeing her but still texts me every day and tells me he loves me.why would he do this??...
A. 27 November 2009: He is keeping you dangling just in case he finds himself at a loose end, you are his girl in reserve.
It is not good for your mental or emotional health to be in this position so let him know, quite firmly, that you are no longer interest... (read in full...)
How can I move on and completely forget this man?
Q. Dear Cupid, I had a short affair with co-worker and end up to a big fight. We became close to each, send SMS and phone each other. He was married with a kid and I'm single mother with 2 kids. He is very vocal to his feelings and running afte...
A. 27 November 2009: Yes, I did get the feeling he wants to get rid of you at work, this is why I have suggested you get in touch with a social worker or a female's advocate.
If you are in a city contact some of the people I have suggested and ask them if they can... (read in full...)
Should my partner tell his daughter that he is her real father?
Q. im desperate for someone give some advice about my fella and his daughter.this is going to be long because if i give proper details then you might understand it clearer..my fella (mike) of 8 years told me when i first met him that he had a ...
A. 27 November 2009: Your partner needs to approach this situation very carefully, as a first step I would suggest he see or speak with his local Salvation Army who may be able to approach his daughter on his behalf. In a situation like this a third party approach will ... (read in full...)
I'm having problems with my mother, she is just too strict with me!
Q. Basically, I have issues with my mother. Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly and all but most of the times, she's just TOO unreasonable and conservative for her own good. To begin with, she won't allow me to wear make-up. I'm 16 by the way and I ...
A. 27 November 2009: Okay, here goes. You live in a country where I beleive there are some very strict rules to live by.
I agree that in some countries you would be permitted to wear some makeup at your age, and also in some countries girls are permitted by their pa... (read in full...)
How can I move on and completely forget this man?
Q. Dear Cupid, I had a short affair with co-worker and end up to a big fight. We became close to each, send SMS and phone each other. He was married with a kid and I'm single mother with 2 kids. He is very vocal to his feelings and running afte...
A. 27 November 2009: No, I am sorry to say he doesnt love you, it looks to me like he just used you for sex, and now he is scared his wife will find out.
I dont know what you can do about him complaining to the boss, are you in a city or large town that has a womens h... (read in full...)
She is moving to be with me, but I am having second thoughts!
Q. I am stuck and don't know what to do. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. She is 6 years younger and is still in school. We've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now. I've done everything I could to make it work, and it ...
A. 27 November 2009: hello again
it is not impossible to forgive a cheater (I have) but be very, very sure not to forget.
I have read your response, despite what you say, I still beleive it is very important you call this girl and tell her you are unsure about her... (read in full...)
We seemed to get along so well. Why is he ignoring me now?
Q. so me n this guy are best friends. we liked each other alot over halloween and before. we had kissed multiple times and he kept on saying he was gonna ask me out but he never did. so last week i started going out with this guy. and now he wont text ...
A. 26 November 2009: He feels betrayed, maybe jealous, maybe he knows he should have acted sooner and doesnt know what to do now, he is only quite young, his communication skill may not yet be developed, you might have to sit him down and look him in the eye, and see if ... (read in full...)
My ex-boyfriend faces prison for what he did, should I continue case against him?
Q. I stupidly met up with an obsessed ex boyfriend reasons I do not know nor can explain. We met up and returned home to his house by taxi around 11.30. On entry into the house I went to the toilet. During this time he had taken my mobile and proce...
A. 26 November 2009: Wow, stop feeling guilty, your father is right, I dont know what country you are or his nationality, but the further away from him you are the better. You are not wrong to press charges, quite the opposite, it would be wrong if you DIDN'T! G... (read in full...)
How can I rebuild my trust for him after I found these texts on his phone?
Q. Iv been with my partner for a couple of months now, and he knows i suffer from really bad trust issues due to a past relationship. But yesterday i was looking on his mobile ( yeah i know its wrong but its something i do to make myself feel better) ...
A. 26 November 2009: why would you want to rebuild your trust in this boy? Seems to me he is up to no good, funny sort of joke.
have you considered you may be stuck in some sort of pattern, and are for some reason only chosing people who dont deserve your trust
... (read in full...)
After having an affair with a married man for 18 years he has finally left his wife, but now he is seeing another younger woman!
Q. i have been having an affair with a married man for 18 years. he and his wife of 28 years have just filed for a divorce. i didn't encouage him in fact i told him to rethink and try an make up with his spouse. he sais that its too late and that its ...
A. 26 November 2009: wow, you have so many negative responses, not many people seem to think you have been hard done by .....
and neither do I
sorry you wasted 18 years of your life with a low down cheatin' scum, but you were willing to be his bit on the side for ... (read in full...)
Desperate girl looking for a reply...
Q. Well I'm new at all this stuff and I don't really speak in english nor type correctly.. To start with, I would like to point out the fact that I really feel I love my boyfriend, the drama comes when he just seem to doesn't care about me anymore....
A. 25 November 2009: wow, I know you are not going to like this, but you are so young. Too young to be tieing yourself down to one boy. And I am going to assume he is also very young, his head will, and should, be full of lots of stuff, not just girls.
I am glad to ... (read in full...)
She is moving to be with me, but I am having second thoughts!
Q. I am stuck and don't know what to do. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. She is 6 years younger and is still in school. We've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now. I've done everything I could to make it work, and it ...
A. 25 November 2009: You must tell her you would prefer she didnt move to be near you, and you must tell her immediately, before she makes any more plans or rearranges her life any further.
She will be hurt, it is possible her heart will be broken, but broken hearts d... (read in full...)
I am new to the dating scene Please help me interpret this mans actions!
Q. Please help me interpret this mans actions: I am new to the dating scene and am terrified of it. I met a cute guy today and we were talking for a few minutes. In that short time, he told me I was hot two times and tried to hug me. This was the first ...
A. 25 November 2009: woman to woman, woman over 40 to woman over 40, yes, he was looking for sex, the fact he felt it was okay to attempt to hug you at first meeting also his hot comments, erk, he sounds slimy, good on you for not having him visit.
I would cut any ... (read in full...)
I'm female and in love with a "straight" girl!
Q. Ok so I'm bisexual and I'm in love with this amazing girl. She really is just amazing in every way. But anyway, we've always seemed to have a bit of tension between us and I had noticed her to be different around me than with other people. Other ...
A. 25 November 2009: okay, age group between 18 and 21, she may simply be fascinated with your 'alternate' life choices, she may have heard some negative comments about your life choices and be letting you know she doesnt view them the same way, she is young enough to ... (read in full...)
Do I consider this relationship over? Do I give him space and try and move forward whilst hoping he'll get back in touch?
Q. Hi, I hope someone can help - It might be a long story! About six weeks ago, I reconnected with an old classmate on Facebook. We got chatting and sharing stories. I told him about a recent break up which I'd gone through which although was ...
A. 25 November 2009: you need to thank your lucky stars you only wasted six weeks on him, not six years.
Shrug, accept it as an error of judgment on your part, and move on.
I dont think there is anything in this for you.... (read in full...)
Our mutual friends tell me my boyfriend is chatting up another girl?
Q. hello guys... i m a 20 year old girl...i am in a relationship for last 4 years...this guy was very sweet initially...he proposed me and we spent lovely time together...but recently i dont know what happened, but my bf has stopped calling me and some...
A. 25 November 2009: message him, "In light of the lack of earnest communication on your part, along with reported rumours of another girl hoving to on your horizon, am I to take it the marriage proposal is now off the table?
How come you had the nouse to propose ... (read in full...)
What are people's opinions on hen parties and stag do's and strippers?
Q. Hey, I'm 20 years old and been with my boyfriend now for nearly 3 years. Our relationship has been on the rocks a little over the past few months and were not as close as we used to be. I have been invited to go on a hen party at the weekend whic...
A. 25 November 2009: age wise, if I was going I would be the mother of the bride or groom so here is my opinion.
I have seen some male strippers and it were just tacky, BORING!! and I have seen some male strippers the women I went with disgusting behaviour, (slapper... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother is a problem.
Q. hello i have a lil problem with my boyfriends mother. it seems that he can't cut the cord and it creates problems for us. i am close with my parents but my parents aren't clingy like his mother is. i have much love and respect for her and i am sure ...
A. 24 November 2009: Caring guy is right, but there is another issue you may need to consider, in Australia if you build a house on land owned by another person, that person can claim the house.
If you are going to be contributing financially towards the house yo... (read in full...)
Stuck with another, but wants to be with me
Q. I started dating this guy, and we were together for a year but broke up when I found out he had another girl. We remained friends, and recently he has been wanting to get back together with me. He has been telling me he loves me. However, re...
A. 24 November 2009: I dont like the word "stupid" but yes, it would be very silly of you to resume a full on relationship with this man while he is still entangled elsewhere.
I cannot conceive of any situation where it would be imposible for him to end his relation... (read in full...)
Why does my ex expect me to wait for her?
Q. My ex always wants to hang out, but she is always late, or makes me wait all night (so I cancel other plans) and then blows me off. Why does my ex always expect me to just wait on her?...
A. 24 November 2009: why are you hanging around waiting for an ex? Why is she your ex? Is she your ex because she decided to be your ex and now she has decided to keep you hanging around like a little puppy dog waiting for a pat?
Grow Some!! Stop waiting around, ... (read in full...)
How can I make our break-up easier for the children? They are very upset and confused
Q. My husband of 16 years has left the family home, me and my two young children. He says he does not feel loved enough by me then says he feels suffocated by me. I am very confused and don't know what to do to get him home. We all miss him very much ...
A. 24 November 2009: he is playing away and trying to get you to take the blame for his adulterous behaviour. The best thing you can do is see a lawyer to find out if you are going to be okay financially.
And then you need to rebuild your life, if your kids see you ... (read in full...)
Will sex the second time be as bad as the first time?
Q. I have posted below post before and now going to have my 2nd time sex. Is it high chance for him to stretch my vagina wall as painful as my first time? Most of my friend said that very high chance to hurt like that again since he is so big and he ...
A. 24 November 2009: you many need a little help with lubrication, maybe your body was not quite ready for him, and so your vagina was dry.
Because you live in Australia i would suggest you contact your nearest family planning clinic, most capital cities have them, if... (read in full...)
Should I sit back and wait to see if it all works out or should I walk away?
Q. long story short i started seein this girl 6 months ago and all of a sudden 2 days ago she came up to me crying her eyes out saying she can tell @ 6months whether shes going to marry a guy or not and she said she doesnt see me as one she would ...
A. 24 November 2009: was the ring an engagement ring, or just a gift? If not an engagement ring, well, there is little chance you will get it back.
However, get on the phone, ask her when you can get your stuff off her, (include the ring just in case she's is not a... (read in full...)
Is it possible for someone to have accessed porn because my router has no password? Or is my boyfriend lying to me?
Q. Hi there, I am looking for a little bit of advise. I have a very strong view on porn n I total hate it. Personal reasons of course. Do not want to offend anyone who enjoys it. Anyway, my boyfriend of 4 years knows my view on this but I went for a...
A. 24 November 2009: either you boyfriend has somebody visit while you were out and that person used your computer to look at porn or he did!
There is a 99.9% chance he is lying to you. I wonder what else he tells lies about.... (read in full...)
Buying a bikini in India - advice wanted!
Q. can any body please help me with some doubts. this is not about relationship. but this can help energizing a relationship. my wife would prefer to buy a bikini. basically we want to go for a swim on a beach. we don't know what how to select an...
A. 24 November 2009:
Your question has been answered, look online for swimsuits.
It would appear there is no swimsuit advise available to you on this site.... (read in full...)
He's left me holding the baby while he goes out and cheats!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have a 3 month old baby girl, we are engaged and living together. I'm 17 years old, he is 22 years old... i love him with all my heart and now i feel hopeless. lots of different girls have been calling him ...
A. 23 November 2009: Get yourself and your baby out of that violent nasty place! Find a womans centre, be it a refuge or shelter, ask them to help you. This is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, if your baby grows up in this toxic atmosphere she will grow up believing it is normal - ... (read in full...)
He is doing everything possible to show me how much he loves me but his betrayal is all I can focus on.
Q. Hi Aunts, Don't really know why I'm writing this. It's cos I need your help and reassurance again I suppose. If you know me you will remember my text cheating husband and the rest of the saga. Although I am managing to avoid bringing it up as ...
A. 23 November 2009: I dont recall reading your earlier letter, but then, I am not here all the time. From your listed age you are "one of my mob" age wise. Which puts your husband in much the same age range, and please, because I didnt see your original letter ... (read in full...)
Buying a bikini in India - advice wanted!
Q. can any body please help me with some doubts. this is not about relationship. but this can help energizing a relationship. my wife would prefer to buy a bikini. basically we want to go for a swim on a beach. we don't know what how to select an...
A. 23 November 2009: well hello again cool and coolest,
is this some sort of wind up?
you are internet savvy enough to find an obscure dear cupid site, how come you are not internet savvy enough to google "swimsuits" or even get onto ebay or simular and have a l... (read in full...)
Life after wife's mastectomy? Anyone been through this?
Q. A couple months ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and she had a mastectomy on one side last week. We think it was detected early, the doctors are quite encouraging, and she seems to be recovering marvelously from the surgery. Final test ...
A. 23 November 2009: You wife may need some counselling, it seems her mental state is not as healthy as her physical.
A friend of mine had both breasts removed late September. Within two weeks of coming home she was out and about doing her normal things, she is getti... (read in full...)
My girlfriend dumped me and I'm still devastated
Q. Im so hurt! My ex gf broke up with me on Nov 4 after dating for almost 2 yrs. I always treated her like a princess and loved her like crazy. I found out on a txt msg she sent me by "accident". It devastated me bcuz even though we had been fighting, ...
A. 23 November 2009: whoa, in response to another un named responder, it is very important first up to not generalise about women, just as it is important to remember not all men are arsehats!
You list your age at between 18 and 21 which means that you were probably... (read in full...)
He blew me off and went back to his ex. Whats up with this man?
Q. I have been dating a man for one year who was in the process of a divorce which he filed. He was married at a young age and for thirty years,with two grown children and grandchildren. His wife would leave for months at a time and with other men. ...
A. 23 November 2009: we gave you advise, but not the advise you wanted.
This guy is not long term relationship material, he is hooked into his ex wife or current partner or whatever they are now.
It sounds like he is emotionally lazy, its easier for him to just ... (read in full...)
Changing wardrobe, acting different, is he cheating?
Q. hii everyone Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3yrs (on and off). And I love him so much, but lately we've been having problems...well mostly its me with the problem bcuz he doesnt feel like hes doing ne thing. just like a couple we...
A. 22 November 2009: He has cheated already, three times, so chances are he is cheating again.
You need to think long and carefully about where you see yourself in 2 years, or 5 years or even 10 years. Realisticly, is he still in the picture?
I think you need t... (read in full...)
Texting another girl but says I'm just being jealous
Q. about a month ago i found online messages from my boyfriend to another girl who he goes to college with they were very flirty and suggestive if you know what i mean. We have been together over a year and a half and i love him so much. i spoke to him ...
A. 22 November 2009: Flirty text and wont delete, I think your relationship might be in trouble. I think, from what you have written, you have every right to be asking questions.
If he is unwilling to acknowledge your feelings are hurt, and your concerns there is... (read in full...)
He blew me off and went back to his ex. Whats up with this man?
Q. I have been dating a man for one year who was in the process of a divorce which he filed. He was married at a young age and for thirty years,with two grown children and grandchildren. His wife would leave for months at a time and with other men. ...
A. 22 November 2009: dont bother trying to work him out, why waste your time? He is so hooked into this distructive relationship with his ex wife I doubt he will ever manage to completely break away.
The fact he tried to get passionate with you, well, he is used to ... (read in full...)
I'd dump my boyfriend if another guy asked me out... so am I using him till then?
Q. So i have this boyfriend and hes amazing. And i absolutely love him! But theres this guy who i go to school with (I dont go to the same school as my boyfriend)(we'll call the guy from school guy Number 2), and hes one of those guys who flirts ...
A. 22 November 2009: you need to consider how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
try of a moment to imagine your letter if it had been written from the point of view of your boyfriend. How do you think you would feel knowing you are not his first ch... (read in full...)
Is it inappropiate for my b/f to brag on facebook about previous girls he's hooked up with?
Q. My bf and I broke up and he went on an overseas holiday with some of his friends. When he got back he told me he regretted the break up and realised what he wanted in life- me. He said he missed me so much and didnt want anyone else but me and bla ...
A. 22 November 2009: You havent listed your age, so I am going to assume you are both probably in your early 20s. He really is not the full quid is he, when it comes to keeping sweet with a girl he want to re establish a relationship with.
Ask him how could he have ... (read in full...)
What does 'I lust you' mean?
Q. what does it mean if someone says to you "i lust you" instead of "i love you"? my friend said this to me and i dont quite understand...
A. 22 November 2009: she wants to do lustful things with you
it could almost be viewed as an invitation to hanky panky, unless she was pulling your leg to see what your reaction was.
I would play a waiting game for a while and see what transpires .... if she was kidd... (read in full...)
I told him a very personal thing about me and now all his friends are calling me names. I don't know how to handle it any more. Please help!
Q. Last night i told my boyfriend of 10 months that i had been raped before we got together and that is why i do not wish to have sex before we are married as i am scared and any time i think about sex i see His face. its horrible. Even for my ...
A. 21 November 2009: what a disgusting group of little turds your ex and his friends are! First up tell your parents, if they dont know about the rape tell them, and tell them about this boy and his friends. If your school has a counsellor or a chaplain go see ... (read in full...)
My ex wanted me to have an abortion, but now he wants visitation rights
Q. Im 18 years old and i have a 3 month old little boy with my ex whose 22. He wants to have some sort of visitation rights but i dont want him to. Since when i found out i was pregnant at 17 he left me for another girl and told me to have an abortion. ...
A. 21 November 2009: Okay, first up I raised three kids as a single mother, even though I hadnt started out that way, so I know what it is like to be left holding the baby! visitation and support are (should be) two separate issues. It is very important that y... (read in full...)
Buying a bikini in India - advice wanted!
Q. can any body please help me with some doubts. this is not about relationship. but this can help energizing a relationship. my wife would prefer to buy a bikini. basically we want to go for a swim on a beach. we don't know what how to select an...
A. 21 November 2009: why dont you just go into a store that sells brand name swim suits and ask them, they should be able to advise on best style for your wife's body shape. A store that also fits and sells underwear would be best if they are available.
If you cant... (read in full...)
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