I love my son, I love my ex but I have to chose between them!
Q. I had recently started seeing my ex boyfriend again after being broken up for almost a year. Things seemed to be going okay . My teenage son who has never liked him, recently did something terrible to try to cause problems for us. I won't get into ...
A. 6 December 2009: I am glad you have told us your son's age, 15 is too young to be dumped by your parent. One of the other responders has given his personal experience of sons of single mothers. My personal experience is that sons of single are very protective and ... (read in full...)
Mole on face pretty or ugly?
Q. well, i have a mole on my top left forehead and i feel so insecure about it. but my mum tells me it makes me look 'pretty' and il never be allowed to remove it. Are moles ugly? please help!...
A. 5 December 2009: now when I was a girl (some short time ago) facial moles were referred to as beauty spots. Marilyn Monroe (iconic sex symbol) had one as did Cindi Crawford.
Try to accept it as someting uniquly yours, because it sure aint ugly!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he thinks other girls are pretty!
Q. My boyfriend told me he thinks other girls are pretty. I know this is probably over reacting but i got very upset by this, he always told me he never even looks at girls and i can't stand that he would look at a girl and think about how pretty she ...
A. 5 December 2009: I'm sorry to say I dont really understand. You are between 22 and 25 and he is jealous you work two days a week at Oxfam. How would he be if you had a full time job?
I think its a bit weird that he will text you to say there is a pretty girl in ... (read in full...)
I love my son, I love my ex but I have to chose between them!
Q. I had recently started seeing my ex boyfriend again after being broken up for almost a year. Things seemed to be going okay . My teenage son who has never liked him, recently did something terrible to try to cause problems for us. I won't get into ...
A. 5 December 2009: why is your ex your ex.
You child comes first in this situation, your ex is your ex for a reason. maybe your son saw you deal with pain and feelings of rejection, hurt etc etc, caused by your breakup with your ex, and doesnt want to see it a... (read in full...)
Busy, or not interested?
Q. I can't tell if this guy is interested or not? He says he's busy (he's a dr). I met this guy through friends and we really hit it off when he joined a group of us on a night out. As soon as I got home that night my friends were all calling tell...
A. 5 December 2009: I wouldnt be "telling" him how to organise his life just yet,, you could ASK him if he knows of a day coming up when he would be free and you both could make plans.
... (read in full...)
Is there a problem with us or am I just over analyzing things?
Q. My gf and i have been dating for a year and a half now.We only see each other weekends bcoz i work and she also recently started working and she has a 2year old child to attend to,which i have no problem with.The thing is we usually see each ...
A. 5 December 2009: Two year old children are high maintenance. And if she has a paid job as well your girlfriend has a fairly busy, and probably tiring, life.
You ask if she is a typical woman, I would suggest she may be a typical mum, and for most mothers mornings... (read in full...)
My guy prefers his male friends company to mine
Q. i just broke up with my bf after realizing hes too attached to his friends that he decided to NOT communicate with me for 4 days straight and it was right after my bday to top it off, he didnt get me anything, not even a rose. I called 2 nights a...
A. 5 December 2009: Delete and block him from your facebook, and put it down to experience.... (read in full...)
He wont talk so I don't know where I stand
Q. Hello, I've been dating a guy for the last 4 months, and within the last month or so he's been mentioning how he'd like to see me more often (we usually see each other once or twice a week). Last week after we went out I msged him when I got home...
A. 5 December 2009: Hello princess, I think he might be one a little nervous about initiating the conversation you want, so it might be up to you, just ask him next time you are out and having fun, "so am I your girlfriend or not"
Although it does sound to me that ... (read in full...)
Rumour has it he left his wife and children for me, but I hardly know him!
Q. I started working at my current job at the beginning of the year. This is my first job after university. I am a fairly open and friendly person and am friendly towards all the people I work with. This has led to one of the men at work to develop a ...
A. 5 December 2009: Lots of rumours here, you have been told he left his wife and children for you, and you have also been told he was unhappy for a long time.
However, there doesnt appear to be any indication he is gay, also you should never put too much faith in... (read in full...)
He is married but still comes looking for me!
Q. Hello and thank you so much for taking the time to read this because I really need some advice - me and my ex boyfriend (also my best friend) dated for 2 years and for the first time, I fell madly in love.. However our relationship was not perfect ...
A. 5 December 2009: the reason he is persisting in contacting you is that you werent good enough to be his wife (or mother of legitimate children) but you are good enough to be his bit on the side, and if any kids arrive as a result, well, stiff bikkies for you, you ... (read in full...)
I am in the middle of my own soap opera!
Q. Well to make a few things clear i am a lesbian, but my spouse is bi sexual...and we are seniors in high school. okay so i really don't know ware to begin. It all started junior year i began to like her. but she was still straight so i keep my mou...
A. 5 December 2009: First up, a spouse is a marriage partner, and from your tale of woe, I don't think the protaganist in this story fits that description.
Apart from that, if this story is a wind up it's not a very believable one - and if it isn't well, you need som... (read in full...)
We broke up when he wouldn't commit. Now he's back, what do I do?
Q. I need advice how to handle a situation. I dated a man for 2 1/2 years, he is smart, kind, loyal successful. We are both in our mid forties. I was the first women he ever fell for. He was used to being alone and took things very slow. As the thir...
A. 5 December 2009: unless he is prepared to bring a plan to the table (and act on it) you will only be back where you were before you broke it off with him.
From your letter it would seem he had it all, a ready made family, a loving female companion and four nig... (read in full...)
My wife cheated and left me twice, and I have a GF who is hurt because I'm still married... what should I do??
Q. Please I need help (tears). I'm shaking and crying writing this letter. Reader....Please take time to read this if you can. I have been married for 16 years. My wife is very controlling and is very jealous of me. A few years ago I was into modeling. ...
A. 5 December 2009: I agree with 1605 in that I didnt read the whole post, just the title. So here goes:
If you care about your girlfriend, get your divorce and commit to the girl.... (read in full...)
Is he lying to me? WAS something going on behind my back?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are driving and his phone keeps ringing, he asked me to answer if I wanted. I did and it was a female who says she had the wrong number. I questioned who she was calling for and she said her cousin gave her the number. I asked ...
A. 4 December 2009: I think that because the cousin is telling lies about you, that your best bet would be to believe him for the time being.
If it all gets too hard a little down the track, and you still have doubts, reconsider your options.... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in the middle of my feuding friends
Q. So me and my group of friends are having huge difficulties. We are 6 girls and last year we were a tight group but this year is all weird. I know people change but its all drama shit. My bff elizabeth started telling some pretty shitty lies where ...
A. 3 December 2009: Be tough, try and get them all together in a neutral place, (coffee shop or something) and then tell them their childish antics are doing your head in, and they either sort themselves out or you walk away until they do. Give them a few minutes, and ... (read in full...)
Is my ex just mentally unwell?
Q. Hi I have got advice on here before which was helpful so this was the first place I came to today because of a big upset. My partner and I split up a few months ago but stayed in touch over the phone and agreed to meet up this week. He can be...
A. 3 December 2009: You are right, he is mentally unbalanced, and you are wasting your time, and in light of the fact you have a daughter, I would put as much distance, physically and emotially, between you and him as you can.
He actually sounds quite dangerou... (read in full...)
The thought of what my girlfriend does in her sleep keeps me awake
Q. For some reason this is really bothering me. I woke up the other night sleeping next to my girlfriend and i thought she was masturbating. Now i dont know for certain but the reasons i thought this were because the covers were slightly moving,...
A. 2 December 2009: I don't think you realise that for many of us who have answered, your obsessing over this is abnormal.
... (read in full...)
Because of my past I'm overprotective of g/f
Q. I got a problem that prevents me from having a relationship. about a couple years ago my ex was murdered when I made her come down to my house and she was raped and killed on the way over. I loved her. it took some about 2 years but I started dating ...
A. 2 December 2009: you may need some extra help to deal with this, grief counselling would be a good place to start. Until you deal with the past will keep getting stuck there and wont be able to move so easily towards the future.
... (read in full...)
My OBGYN tells me to dump abusive boyfriend, should I?
Q. Help! My boyfriend says that my vagina does not feel teh same as it did when we began having sex 9 months ago. He refers to it as being loose and accuses me of cheating on him. I have tried kegels (excessively and obsessively) and have been ...
A. 2 December 2009: Why aren't you listening to your OBGYN? ... (read in full...)
He saw a photo taken before we met and flipped!
Q. im one of those troubled by a recent broken relationship after about 1.5 yrs and i dont know what to do. it was VERY suprising and sudden for both of us, he saw a pic of me before we met with some guys and he flipped and left. he wanted to be ...
A. 2 December 2009: This is outrageous for him to blame breaking up with you on a picture taken before you even met ..... unless you were starkers and in a compromising position of course!
If the picture was innocent, I would take a guess that he is just using it... (read in full...)
I wish I had a big sister!
Q. hey everyone, i really wish i had a big sister! when i get sad, i feel like i need to tell someone and thats why i wish i had a big sister! im just asking what do think i should do? ...
A. 2 December 2009: Do you have a younger Aunt you could talk to, or does your Mum have a friend that you feel could take the place of a big sister?
Not everybody has older sisters, so people also confide in friends, grandmothers, aunts, brothers, sisters in law, cou... (read in full...)
We have been dating for a month and he is breaking my heart!
Q. I,ve been dating my boyfriend since the beginning of November and he was happy for about 2 weeks. Now he tells mehow depressed he is and It hurts me coz I thought I was making him happy .I,ve tried everything to help him and Now he,s withdrawn from ...
A. 1 December 2009: You have been dating since the beginning of November and it is now the beginning of December. A month. If he wont communicate his problem to you, after such a short time, imagine what he will be like in 6 months time, or even a year. Better to ... (read in full...)
The thought of what my girlfriend does in her sleep keeps me awake
Q. For some reason this is really bothering me. I woke up the other night sleeping next to my girlfriend and i thought she was masturbating. Now i dont know for certain but the reasons i thought this were because the covers were slightly moving,...
A. 1 December 2009: There is a word in common usage in my country that perfectly fits this situation - it starts with a "w" with a "k' in the middle and ends with a "r"! Sadly it would seem you are in the situation of doing what you accuse her of doing when she is ... (read in full...)
I don't like Granny's new husband
Q. Ok, i am 18 years old now, i am really getting annoyed with my gran and her "new husband" who thinks that he is the head of the family when nobody likes either of them because of there marage!. i am a full-time student and have had enough of li...
A. 1 December 2009: hah! its easy to see why your Grandmother's new husband might be having a problem or two with you
you want a flat of your own but you dont want to pay for it
you want to know how to get money for utilities but dont mention actually working... (read in full...)
I don't want to be the idiot that's used as a doormat.
Q. I found out that my boyfriend has been sending texts to other girls of a sexual nature along with this he has also been sending texts saying that he wanted to be with them. this is the second time that I've found this out in the space of a couple of ...
A. 1 December 2009: If you dont want to be the doormat, the answer is simple. Dont! Just get up and walk away.
... (read in full...)
My best friend and I BOTH like the same boy... help!
Q. My so called best friend is so very immature and insensitive. For the second time she has gone out with the boy that I really fancy after promising me she doesnt like them and knowing that I do. The boy in question this time told 1 of my other be...
A. 1 December 2009: alrighty here goes, why not just accept what has already happened as water under the bridge, and in your mind decide to start afresh.
In future dont discuss who you like or who likes you, or who might like the other girl, or the other girls gr... (read in full...)
I stay unhappy to make him happy...
Q. I really need some help from someone, ive been going out with my boyfriend for 8 months so not very long and he loves me so much but i dont feel the same way, i really like him but im not attracted to him in any way so find it very hard to have a ...
A. 1 December 2009: Oh dear, nice sentiments but really you are not being fair to your boyfriend or yourself.
You need to gently break it to your boyfriend that its not working, and that the chemistry just isnt there. He will be hurt but far better to be hurt now... (read in full...)
Is he giving me the cold shoulder, or is there something really wrong?
Q. My boyfriend was supposed to come on a trip with me last friday, and he never showed up...a few hours later he texted me and told me his mom was in the hospital, and that he was there all night and his phone was dead, so his room mate brang his ...
A. 1 December 2009: hmm, this is a tough one, his excuse does seem plausible, but the fact he hasnt contacted you since is a bit odd. Are you able to contact his mate, the one that brought his charger to him? On this occassion I would ignore the gossips and give him ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with listening to my friend's love interest rants?
Q. I'm tired of listening to my friends complains about all her love interests.... Is it normal? ...
A. 1 December 2009: you sure are normal, I've been in your situation, she is going to get upset, but just tell her that a friendship is supposed to be two way, and its your turn now. She probably wont listen, so you may need to simply limit the amount of time you ... (read in full...)
He says he won't contact me again. Is this normal?
Q. Hi i have a question. I met this man we started dating for 7 days everything was good then suddenly i was at work he tried to call me i could not answer, He sent me an e-mail saying he tried to talk to me but i refused so he will not contact me a...
A. 1 December 2009: wow, are you lucky to get out of this one so easily. He certainly sounds a tad off the wall! His behaviour and expectations are not normal, thank you lucky stars you only wasted 7 days on him.... (read in full...)
Should I end things with my wife in order to be with her sister?
Q. i am overwhelmingly in love with my wife's sister, and have been for almost 4 years since her divorce. she has 2 boys. i am not in love with my wife and we haven't been intimate in years (at least 10). i want to divorce my wife, and begin a ...
A. 1 December 2009: How does your sister in law feel about this? How will your families celebrate Christmases and birthdays. Are you expecting your wife to be quite comfortable with the situation, do you think your dumping one sister to try your luck with the other ... (read in full...)
I feel like he was never sorry
Q. I need some advice about what to do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me:/ So there is this guy and we’ve had a good/bad friendship. Well I liked him and I guess he liked me. He knew I had a crush on him. He’s treated me badly. He likes to take me out ...
A. 1 December 2009: He is toxic, and you need to move on.
As for your feeling you are not good enough, hey, you got that round the wrong way, he is not good enough, not good enough for you or for any girl who is sensitive and caring. You be the one to take charge, ... (read in full...)
Not sure if he likes me 100%....to initiate or not to initiate?
Q. I have a friend who is helping me talk to the guy I like and he doesn't know its my friend. He told my friend he wants a gf but he feels its difficult to get one. He mentions girls he rejected, my friend asked if any other girls liked him and he ...
A. 1 December 2009: I really believe you need to approach this man for yourself and leave the friend out of it.
He sounds like a lot of hard work, are you sure you want to persist?
You need to do your own approaching, you dont have to be full on, a friendly smile... (read in full...)
Should I wish her well or leave it to no contact at all?
Q. Was Dumped last thursday by text message, am hurting so much ! I havent contacted her, onlyl got a bland short email from her with her Meal choices for our groups Christmas meal. Her mother is going into hospital tomorrow, should I text her ...
A. 1 December 2009: If you have met her mother, and have spoken with her, (the mother) then a short text or email hoping all goes well would not be out of order.
If you havent met her, or your contact has been minimal I would leave it alone
Sorry you are hurting,... (read in full...)
Girlfriend or booty call?
Q. Hi , I am just out of a long relationship. i am doing my masters and became close to one of my classmates. He jokes light heartedly about me and is always ready to help me. But hes not very good at talking about emotions and feelings and hen...
A. 1 December 2009: If this man wanted more you would know about it by now, the fact you dont go out but only hang out at each other's places ostentatiously to watch a movie but in reality to drink enough to then have sex is a very strong indicator.
You are a booty ... (read in full...)
Is it silly to be upset that my husband of 27 years puts his brother as next of kin on his passport?
Q. Recently my hubby got his renewed passport and when I went with him to get his travellers cheques I picked up his passport [while we were waiting for his stuff] and noticed that on the page that asks for next of kin that he had filled in his ...
A. 1 December 2009: have you asked him why he did this? Maybe he thought that you would be at his side whenever and where ever he travelled, and that if he was in strife so would you be.
Another possibility is that he doesnt want you to deal with any unpleasa... (read in full...)
He says he wants to marry me and then I don't hear from him!
Q. A guy I have been seeing on and off for several months told me that he loves me and wants to marry me. He didn't sound like he was expecting to hear it back but, I wanted to repeat it however, I didn't because I'm not at I love you yet and I assumed ...
A. 1 December 2009: You may need to be proactive, its possible that when you didnt react when he said he loved you and wanted to marry, that he thought you didnt care.
You say if he really cared he would pick up the phone, this is not the 1950's so if you really c... (read in full...)
Flirting with an older married woman, not sure where it has gone now
Q. I've long admired from afar an older woman I know, and it's obvious that she has, at least at one time, fancied me too. Since it's been many months since our last meeting or communication, I'm not sure of where she stands today. But, I remember our ...
A. 1 December 2009: I think you have a very vivid imagination! You say it is many months since your saw each other or communicated, and yet you claim she is your friend and mentor. Friends and especially mentors don't go months without communication.
The biggest ... (read in full...)
B/f says I lay there and don't do anything! What am I supposed to do?
Q. i need advice on how to turn my boyfriend on before sex. he takes forever to get hard. he says its cuz i just lay there and dont do anything. what am i supposed to do?...
A. 1 December 2009: Tell him you dont know, ask him to show you what he wants, tell him you want to take baby steps and not to freak you out by asking for anything too umm, raunchy? to start with. If you put the question to him in the right way he should be only too ... (read in full...)
25 year old virgin 6 years out of previous relationship
Q. Hi. I'm a twenty-five year old virgin man with Asperger's Syndrome. Back in middle school, something happened that left me very self-conscious. a girl had walked up to me during class and asked me to to the movies, but when she walked back to her ...
A. 1 December 2009: oh my, I hope the girl from middle school has the balls and guts to look back on her actions and regret and feel shame. I know from experience that a casual biting comment to a teenager can colour and affect their lives for decades after.
But, ... (read in full...)
Wrong makeup! How do I handle this buying situation?
Q. Hi,this isnt a relationship question but i desperatly need some advice. 2 months ago my lady who does my wax and facials etc held a make-up party where we could test the items and then purchase etc... I was after some foundation and she found me...
A. 1 December 2009: I would imagine the company who made the makeup would have some sort of refund guarantee policy.
Approach her again, explain that you found the first foundation unsuitable for your use and you would like a refund. Dont make accusations or a son... (read in full...)
Life after wife's mastectomy? Anyone been through this?
Q. A couple months ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and she had a mastectomy on one side last week. We think it was detected early, the doctors are quite encouraging, and she seems to be recovering marvelously from the surgery. Final test ...
A. 1 December 2009: I am glad to hear she is keeping herself (and you) busy. You are both in my thoughts, and prayers. ... (read in full...)
Life after wife's mastectomy? Anyone been through this?
Q. A couple months ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and she had a mastectomy on one side last week. We think it was detected early, the doctors are quite encouraging, and she seems to be recovering marvelously from the surgery. Final test ...
A. 23 November 2009: You wife may need some counselling, it seems her mental state is not as healthy as her physical.
A friend of mine had both breasts removed late September. Within two weeks of coming home she was out and about doing her normal things, she is getti... (read in full...)
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