A
male
age
30-35,
*ntPain
writes:OK, so my parents hav split up. Not legally but they dont live together and dont love each other anymore. I have a girlfriend which im really seriosu about and want to be with her as much as possible. The thing is that my mum wants to see me almost every weekend which leaves me less time with my girlfriend.When i bring it up, it ends up in an argument with my mum saying "oh you choose her over me" etc. The truth is that i really do. How can i tell my mum to just back off so i can have more time with the main girl in my life.I know every mum must find it hard to let go of their son but still....Any advice would be great
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male
reader, AntPain +, writes (8 December 2009):
AntPain is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify, my mum and dad have not lieve together for nearly a year and she is in a serious relationship herself. Its not a recent thing.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 December 2009):
 Oh, poor mum!
But we cant live our lives to suit our mothers so you need to find a compromise. Is there any way you can visit your mother during the week? Perhaps set a regular thing in place where you and your girl have dinner and watch a movie or something with mum every two weeks? Perhaps go with your mum to do her grocery shopping on Saturday mornings and then have the afternoon free for your girl. There is always a way around a problem, the hardest part is finding that way
good luck, and dont forget to be nice to your mum, she's probably feeling rejected by all around her!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 December 2009):
Yes, every mum does find it hard, but a lot handle it far more well that your mum, and I think she's relying on you for support at this time. Just to be safe, so your girlfriend at least understands, tell her that you're just having some difficulties at home, and to have patience.
As for your mum, she needs support, but at the same time, can't rely on you all the time. I think you need to tell her you love her, but that you can't be expected to axe your girlfriend out of your life, because it's your life and you need to be able to move on with it. If you can, maybe dedicate at least one weekend a month where you spend time with your mum. Unfortunately, you do need to be a bit tough here, because if you aren't, you'll lose your girlfriend, and be the emotional rock for you mum, which can be very hard (trust me on that). Your mum doesn't have a right to make you feel bad about having a girlfriend, just because her own marriage has gone wrong. Tell her you love her very much, but that you need your own space and life.
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