Throwing in the towel is never been an option if you love someone, or is it???
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year. I moved 700 plus miles to be with this woman. We both come from long marriages with bad ex'es. We both have custody of our boys. Needless to say blending a family is hard. Please tell me if I'm being an ...
A. 14 March 2012: why wait for the lease to run out, if you have access to the amount required, pay it out and leave. I don't understand why you are prolonging the agony. A blind man and his dog could see this situation is not going to improve.
I am starting... (read in full...)
At 21, all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers"
Q. Ive gotten to a point where no women is good enough for me to date. At 21 all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers". I feel I owe it to myself to find the best the world has to offer and I haven't seen it in ...
A. 11 March 2012: You must be looking in the wrong places, I can name at least 15 young, unattached, intelligent, attractive women who I come into contact with at least once a month.
Your original post sounded very arrogant ... ie no girls good enough for you to d... (read in full...)
At 21, all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers"
Q. Ive gotten to a point where no women is good enough for me to date. At 21 all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers". I feel I owe it to myself to find the best the world has to offer and I haven't seen it in ...
A. 10 March 2012: Troll o loll o troll lol loll
either that or you are kidding right?
... (read in full...)
Throwing in the towel is never been an option if you love someone, or is it???
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year. I moved 700 plus miles to be with this woman. We both come from long marriages with bad ex'es. We both have custody of our boys. Needless to say blending a family is hard. Please tell me if I'm being an ...
A. 10 March 2012: why are you still even there? ... (read in full...)
I never seen the break up coming and now ex texts me 5 months later to tell me about a movie? What gives?!
Q. My ex and I broke up a little over 5 months ago. It was a very painful breakup due to the fact that his decision to end our relationship was compeltly out of the blue. I didn't see it coming, neither did his family, friends or even his co-workers ...
A. 10 March 2012: I class myself as a pasifist but sometimes I read people's stories on here and they just make me want to kick people, and your ex boyfriend is one of them.
You are under no obligation to respond. So if you don't want to, don't, and even go as fa... (read in full...)
Do all men cheat if given the chance?
Q. Hmm, I'm getting a little cynical-do all men cheat (emotionally/physically) if they get the chance and don't think they'll get caught?? This is the impression I'm getting from DearCupid, from celebrities, from my friends, and I don't like it. I ...
A. 9 March 2012: No. Not all men cheat if given the chance, only those men who are predisposed to cheating for whatever reason will cheat under those conditions.
... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to ask boyfriend what he was doing when he asks if he can call me back?
Q. This is a small thing, but it's driving me crazy and I need some outside perspective. I am in an LDR and we talk on the phone every night before bed usually for about a half hour to an hour, sometimes longer. We both sometimes have to hang up for ...
A. 9 March 2012: I see it differently, I dont see him telling you why he needed five minutes off the phone as basic courtesy, but if you ask every time it could get a repetitive having to respond.
Just try not to ask for a while, you may find he offers the expl... (read in full...)
Why do I keep dreaming of a 65 year old man?
Q. i keep having a dream about my great aunts husband and me getting together hes not my family through blood she is and hes 65 years old im only 29 what does this mean i have had this dream before like 6 time please help...
A. 7 March 2012: The best dream interpretation book I have ever come accross is by Betty Bethards, her book would suggest the dreams are not about sex but more to do with the timeless part of self that evolves through many lifetimes and lessons. The old man you are ... (read in full...)
Should I take the risk and go to meet this man about a job? Parents told me not to go because it sounds dodgy
Q. A man called me about a cleaning job last week, but i missed the call, and when i called back, he said he had given the job to another lady, but he said he would call me if it didn't work out with her. I got a phone call from him again today, saying ...
A. 7 March 2012: It does sound a bit dodgy, is there any chance one of your parents could walk to the interview and wait outside for you? This could help to ease everybody's mind.
Sounds to me his operation is a bit "hole in corner", he may be trying to pull som... (read in full...)
I wish my boyfriend wasn't so close with his parents, its getting on my nerves now!
Q. My boyfriend and I met at college and graduated together a year ago (we've been together 3 years). I had to move 4 hours away from my hometown when I went to college, whereas my boyfriend still lives at home with his parents (only child), an...
A. 7 March 2012: Why not start with the four months travelling that he is prepared to be away from them for, and take it from there.
Or you could go for longer and your boyfriend join you for the four months.
Maybe he can't see that your family will make as goo... (read in full...)
I'm losing my confidence as my bf keeps saying I dress like a slag!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I am 18 years old and he is more than 10 years older than me. A massive problem has arised which is my apparent "dress sense". I am constantly called a slag and a attention seeker for wearing what I see ...
A. 7 March 2012: Slag. I hate that word, he has no right to be calling you, or anybody else this.
I'd sit him down and explain the facts of life to him, ie, if you want to wear leggings you will wear leggings, if you want to wear shorts, you will wear shorts, ... (read in full...)
Was it too early to tell her she had the most beautiful eyes ever seen?
Q. I met my friends, girlfriends, twin sister a couple months back. last friday we hung out and we really seemed to like each other. We went to a party and she told her sister I was cute, and handsome. She told her sister I was really sweet and that ...
A. 6 March 2012: I would be STOKED to recieve that message. Apart from that I have no tips for you, if she has responded, positively, just progress steady steady and see where it goes.
Good luck! ... (read in full...)
Was this a random act of kindness or does she like me?
Q. I've known this girl for a while and she's never really been more than an acquenance to me and I suppose that hasn't really changed, but she asked me to join her and some mates of hers who I also know and get on well with last week. She didn't ask ...
A. 6 March 2012: I think she likes you ............ (read in full...)
I slept with a married man thinking he was single and now he won't explain himself!
Q. I slept with a married man he acted single but now I fell for him a he is ignoring me he doesn't email, text or anything not even to apologize to me. How do I get closure? I feel so low and guilty about this plus I like him all @ the same time. I ...
A. 6 March 2012: Closure? You've had closure, you found out he was married, and he didnt respond to your email. That's all the closure you are going to get.
Its a really shit feeling to be where you are, I know from personal experience. All you can do is accep... (read in full...)
After 1.5 year of planning trip now g/f says she wants us to go separately and she's going with a male friend
Q. My girlfriend and I have been planning on hiking the appalachian trail together for the past year and a half. The departure time is getting close, so 2 weeks ago she tells me that she wants to hike the trail separately now. That consists of me going ...
A. 5 March 2012: To be blunt tell her to take her hike (with her new friend) now. Why wait?
... (read in full...)
I figured out a way to break into her email to see if she's been lying and cheating. Should I?
Q. I know it seems like here and else where there is the thing that if you look at someones email its almost as bad as killing someone but I have never seen it like this. Sometimes there are circumstances which make it almost so pressured to find out ...
A. 5 March 2012: Sounds like you are looking for validation. Why not just break up with her, if she wants to know why tell her its because you feel uncomfortable with the fact she often contradicts herself and the unease she displays when she receives phone calls ... (read in full...)
Can I get in trouble if I stop my son from going to his father's house? I feel uncomfortable with it because of the way he treats my son
Q. Me and my child's father split up about a year ago due to him trying to hit me and punching a door while holding my under 1 at the time son, He denies this completely and has had regular access since we split. He see's his child about 3 times a ...
A. 5 March 2012: That's great that the child's father choses to see his son without a court order, also great that he pays maintenance without a court order, it demonstrates his committment to being a parent.
If no court orders exist and you are concerned for your... (read in full...)
Can I get in trouble if I stop my son from going to his father's house? I feel uncomfortable with it because of the way he treats my son
Q. Me and my child's father split up about a year ago due to him trying to hit me and punching a door while holding my under 1 at the time son, He denies this completely and has had regular access since we split. He see's his child about 3 times a ...
A. 5 March 2012: You should never go against a court order without checking with a legal representative first.
Your child's father is paying maintenance regularly and is under no obligation to purchase further items, when and if he does view it as an unexpect... (read in full...)
Voluntary work that doesn't need references?
Q. Can anyone recommend any voluntary work i could do that doesn't require references from employers?. I've been unemployed for a long time, and haven't had many jobs. I don't have enough work experience to get references from anyone, so i am looking ...
A. 5 March 2012: Some volunteer work here in Australia requires a police clearance, but not many actually ask for previous workplace references.
Try your local op shop, your historical society, church groups, hospital, animal shelter, crisis lines, library,... (read in full...)
I have finally realised this married man is no good for me, but he left his whole life for me....should I cut all ties with him, or do I have to stay and work at it?
Q. I have gotten myself into a serious mess and can't quite get myself out of it. I started an affair with a married man 3 years ago and even though I now realise the reasons self respecting women don't do this- its taken me a long time to realise ...
A. 5 March 2012: Yes, you do have the right to cut all ties, you are not under any obligation to try and work it out. Change your numbers, block his, move if you have to, and cease all and any contact with him.
... (read in full...)
He told me he loves me but if my income doesn't improve he is going to kick me out! Am I taking advantage of him? Or is he being unfair?
Q. I don't know where to begin. The man I'm in love with I think is bipolar. I'm in a sales job making very little money and unable to find something that pays better. I'm intelligent and have had past success but have been relatively poor and broke ...
A. 5 March 2012: If this man is telling you that you need to pay more towards living expenses but stops you when you attempt to move out, and is telling you that you are worthless .... he is an arse!
You dont need that crap. Your daughter doesn't need that cra... (read in full...)
My FWB got married without telling me
Q. i had been seeing a guy for 8 years on and off always me doing the txting, when we met we both had just gone through a divorce him on is second, he had always told me he couldnt ,wouldnt get involved again and we could be friends so we became f...
A. 5 March 2012: In the beginning he said he wouldn't get involved but you had sex with him anyway. Then you found that he was getting involved, but with other women, not you, but you had sex with him anyway. And then you found out he has been married for two ... (read in full...)
I don't like having to play the role of Drill Sargeant!
Q. Okay, my girl and I have been together for almost 2 years. (im 26 shes 21) The relationship is good except that we argue about her taking initiative of her life...she has narcolepsy and I've read up on it, I understand its a disease thats beyond ...
A. 5 March 2012: Stop enabling her behaviour, step back, let her look after herself, she isn't getting off her backside now because she knows she doesn't have too, that you will do it all for her.
Don't pay her bills, don't clean up her mess, don't cook her dinn... (read in full...)
My friend bullies me!
Q. This is going to be kind of long, so I apologize ahead of time. I'm 20, my friend is 22. She gets mad at me for everything and anything you can imagine. I don't hang out with her, because I know the outcome. The only way we communicate is via text, ...
A. 5 March 2012: First up, she is not your friend. Friends don't do that crap!
I agree with the other Aunt, block her so she cannot contact you, let your family and boyfriend know what is going on, show them texts or emails if necessary, and if the harrassm... (read in full...)
His ex girlfriend is his roomie!
Q. Well, my bf and I have only dated for a week. I have a really good feeling about him and I. But I have a problem. Let me start with some background information about him: He and I met last year, we've been pretty good friends since. We secretly...
A. 5 March 2012: Read what you wrote: "today when I was over cuddling with my boyfriend, his ex came home from work, had a bad day, sat next to us, and my boyfriend let go of me to go cuddle her, then he left me to smoke cigarettes and eat Oreos with her. Not to ... (read in full...)
How do I manage dating two girls without messing anyone around?
Q. I have the problem that in my last two relationships I had got used and now I'm trying to look again but may have bitten off more than I can chew, because I have two girls that I really like I'm not in a relationship with either, and the one girl ...
A. 5 March 2012: Tell them both (but not at the same time) you enjoy their company but that you are not ready for a one on one committed relationship with anybody yet. If they question further tell them you are not ready to settle down with a steady girlfriend.
... (read in full...)
Should I give up on her and let her go back to her life?
Q. Okay on the surface, my situation seems pretty cut and dry. I'm sure most people would tell me to move on and find someone available and worthy of my affections. But to me it seems more of a questin of unconditional love. I meet "Jess" 9 momths ...
A. 5 March 2012: You need to work out what it is in this relationship that attracts you
Is it her intellect?
Her looks?
Her conversation?
The fact she is actually unavailable?
The drama?
The sex?
The excitement of having clandestine meetings?
Being abl... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't know about business/jobs/money. How can I change him?
Q. Hi people! Lately I'm extremely tired of my relationship with my bf of 3 years. He's lovely and great man I can say. Otherwise, we have trouble in communication, we can hardly chat well lately. Sometimes I think that he's too dumb about talk...
A. 4 March 2012: What is it you want from your boyfriend, I've read your letter several times but I can't pin anything down. Maybe you need to make your needs clearer to your boyfriend, he may not understand what it is you want of him.... (read in full...)
Husband mimics everything I do like he's a parrot!
Q. My husband mimicks everything I say or do to the point where im just fed up listening to him. If I sneeze (i sneeze a lot!) he acts me and laughs. If I scratch my nose or just move some way he copies me. And he mimicks everything I say...
A. 4 March 2012: I have no advise, I just know I would not be able to live with that .... have you considered sitting down a the table and telling him how annoying it is?
... (read in full...)
Why do married people expect more out of their relationship than people who have been dating for awhile?
Q. I've come to wonder about relationship expectations, and would like to hear the thoughts of others on this subject. Every so often I read a question and then answers that say "you can't expect this and that at this stage". For example, if a woman ...
A. 4 March 2012: Marriage is a legally binding contract.... (read in full...)
He said after the last girl he just wants to be single!
Q. Well.., I like this guy who is in my year and i get on with him really well but he flirts with everyone he is just that friendly. I got my mate to talk to him sorta and he said he just wants to be single after what his last girl did to him what sho...
A. 4 March 2012: You accept the answer he gave you via your mate and continue to get on with him as a friend.... (read in full...)
B/f treats me like I'm his property, not his girlfriend
Q. Dear cupid, I have been seeing my bf for about a year and a half now and things have been changing. In school he always downgrades me infront of hits mates like grabs my butt.. I find it very uncomfy. In school he always acts like I am his property...
A. 4 March 2012: He said I couldn't play because he "said so."
Oh, come on. You are 16/17 now, life expectancy for females in the UK is 80+. Think very carefully about this ..... if you stay with this controlling moron thats another 63 years of being controll... (read in full...)
Is it right for me keeping my commitment to my wife and god that I will only love my wife even if it destroys my inner self?
Q. Hello everyone I am 30 years old. I have been married to the love of my life for 6 years and we grew together since childhood. I love my wife; however, lately a close friend of ours for 6 years has been the emotional support for me. She practices ...
A. 4 March 2012: Your friend might practice a poly life style, you might want to practice a poly lifestyle, but your wife may prefer to practice a monogamous lifestyle, in which case you would be breaking the contract you made with her before God and she could, with ... (read in full...)
We haven't had sex in 8 months! B/f plays games on PC but won't play with me!
Q. hi im a 45yr woman been with my partner almost 6yrs he play pc games every night in the bedroom we have not had sex in 8 months there is no intimacy at all not even a cuddle i have discussed about the pc but he dosent care its so awkard now that i ...
A. 4 March 2012: You pack your stuff and move out is what you do next.
... (read in full...)
Throwing in the towel is never been an option if you love someone, or is it???
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year. I moved 700 plus miles to be with this woman. We both come from long marriages with bad ex'es. We both have custody of our boys. Needless to say blending a family is hard. Please tell me if I'm being an ...
A. 4 March 2012: I have also read another question here on Dear Cupid very much like this one. It appears to have been deleted.
You say you are not one to "throw in the towel" but your story would indicate that you have indeed done just that, by leaving your son... (read in full...)
How should I cut her out of my life without falling out?
Q. I feel like one of my good friends does not make an effort to be my friend and Im thinking about burning bridges with her. Weve been friends a while now, about 7 years. To be fair to her, she does work full time and have 2 kids to bring up and is ...
A. 29 February 2012: You dont need to do anything as dramatic as cutting her out, you simply don't phone ot text her to see how she is, you don;t invite her places, and it will happen naturally.... (read in full...)
What advise can I give my friend?
Q. Dear Cupid, my girlfriend has been in an relationship with a married man for ten yrs. now she's also married. 2wks ago they were out of town together in a hotel. The guy paid for the room with his credit card and his wife tracked the hotel and ...
A. 29 February 2012: Why do you care? She doesn't!... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 29 February 2012: I've just read where he said he will support you to get your masters ... but not now. I have one word for him. Arsehole!
take care now, stay safe, if necessary take a sickie from Uni and go visit your family for a few days.... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 28 February 2012: Sending you love and best wishes. Also sending positive thoughts skywards for you to remain true to yourself, and to be your own woman.
If it gets too tough, go to your parents, they will be there for you, especially as you have already said how... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 27 February 2012: It's just his idea of what love is. Thats why he always manages to make me feel guilty :(
THAT IS NOT LOVE!
I am wanting to take your by the shoulders and shake you now! Read Cerebus's answer again. Really read it! And then tell us how long... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 27 February 2012: If he would rather go and find some woman he doesnt know to make babies with than wait for you then tell him to go for it!
I am a tad grumpy right now, so trying to promote calmness and reasoned thinking. You know what, I think you need to talk ... (read in full...)
Should I get back with my ex boyfriend?
Q. My ex boyfriend broke up with me in 2006.I did not see it coming because we were getting on fine.I was terribly hurt by the breakup. He recently contacted me in december 2011 saying he wanted us to get back. He sent me a love song and was telling me ...
A. 26 February 2012: Jess, he contacted you out of the blue, and is on a dating site .... he was just feeling lonely and thought he would try his luck again. He broke up with you and then tells you he has not changed.
Give him a miss, he is a loser user!... (read in full...)
Every conversation with husband turns into an argument!
Q. My husband of four years is a generally nice and kind man but has very firm views about things. I have tried over the years to put my views forward on things that I am not happy with in the relationship but my views are always walked over or ignored ...
A. 26 February 2012: reword your letter, make it a "when you say this I feel that" "when you do this I feel this way"
print it off and give it to him. Hopefully it will open the lines of communication. If it doesn't suggest counselling, if he wont, you go on your ... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 24 February 2012: Mother of three, grandmother of 4 here. My answer to you is
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Don't do it!
I agree with you that for him to wait a few extra years is not going to impact on his capacity to father children, you however, are still quite young ... (read in full...)
What advise can I give my friend?
Q. Dear Cupid, my girlfriend has been in an relationship with a married man for ten yrs. now she's also married. 2wks ago they were out of town together in a hotel. The guy paid for the room with his credit card and his wife tracked the hotel and ...
A. 15 January 2012: Even after his wife tracked them down and asked for the girlfriend by name their marriage is intact.
This reminds me of a real life friend who was in a similar situation. Her boyfriend's wife and she often traded insults ... it made HIM feel ver... (read in full...)
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