A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I feel like one of my good friends does not make an effort to be my friend and Im thinking about burning bridges with her. Weve been friends a while now, about 7 years. To be fair to her, she does work full time and have 2 kids to bring up and is married. I also have a child the same age as one of hers. But lately Ive noticed that she never calls or texts. Or we make plans and then she doesnt go through with them or cancels at the last minute. But recently Im starting to wonder why I bother having her in my life. I recently had a cancer scare and confided in her about it. I told her I had to go to the hospital to get checked out. She knew the day of my appointment yet it was me who had to phone her to tell her the outcome. Luckily was good news but I realised then she couldnt of really cared if she couldnt make a simple phone call or text to check I was ok. Then I arrange a party for my sons birthday. I invite her and her kids and she says she cant make it for some reason. This has annoyed me because I know she has taken them to other peoples partys, people who she doesnt even know that well too! Its a shame cos when we are together we are really close and get on well. I was even a bridesmaid at her wedding. It just seems that she prefers to hang around with her husband and his friends and she cant have her own friends. Like I said I know she has a very busy life. Ive said to her that Im worried as I never hear from her anymore and never see her but she just says that shes busy. How can I cut her out of my life without falling out?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 March 2012):
 if you stop calling her she will disappear... that's what happens with friends that don't row their part of the relationship boat...
A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (1 March 2012):
I second Aunty BimBim, have done it myself (you just get fed up of being the one to do all the first contact...)
Just don't bother texting/calling her (if she is a real friend and is really bothered, she will do it and her share in the future)
A true friendship is equal no matter how well you perceive how close you are.
(I actually had a go at one of my friends a few years ago over this, and she turned up at my door, to see me and sort it out, that is a true friend)x
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (29 February 2012):
 The only way you will not have a fall out is if you just simply stop talking.
Don't tell her "Hey, I'm not going to talk to you anymore" because that really ignites some tension and drama. Just don't make an effort to talk to her.
If she comes back and says "Why have you stopped talking to me," you calmly explain (without belittling her)that you felt as though she was too busy, mention the cancer scare and her not coming to your kid's birthday party, and that you thought she was too busy to do anything with you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 February 2012):
 You dont need to do anything as dramatic as cutting her out, you simply don't phone ot text her to see how she is, you don;t invite her places, and it will happen naturally.
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