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My friend bullies me!

Tagged as: Friends, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 March 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 5 March 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This is going to be kind of long, so I apologize ahead of time. I'm 20, my friend is 22. She gets mad at me for everything and anything you can imagine. I don't hang out with her, because I know the outcome. The only way we communicate is via text, xbox live, twitter. She gets mad if I don't text her back. She gets mad at me if I don't invite her to play on xbox live. she gets mad if I don't say "I love you" when I'm going to bed... it's so awkward. She's a huge alcoholic. She drinks every night.. she also greets me with "bitch" and "slut". She's spread rumors of me saying that my boyfriend had raped me.. which was VERY untrue. We've got into it before - twice, and it was pretty bad. (She's the only person I've ever argued with.) I forgave her though, thinking things would be different. She's mean as all get out, and isn't afraid to hurt your feelings. Everyday I wake up, hoping I don't have to look at my phone and see some kind of mean text message, but i do! it hurts. now, i'm very antisocial.. and i usually keep to myself. i really only hang out with family and my boyfriend, (Because I have huge trust issues. Stuffs happened in the past with others) so she's the only "friend" i have. but to be honest, being her friend is some of the hardest work i have ever done. more like a chore, actually. i just can't take it anymore. When she dranks, she always admits things she would never say sober. I've never been mean to anyone in my life, but she's really ticking me off. Just being bossy and always posting hateful things that I know are directed towards me. It's like she gets some kind of rush off this? I don't know. I've tried ignoring her but all she does is blow up my phone. I mean she's 22, not 13. Oh, and in highschool, she'd never say a word to me. but once she found out I had an xbox live account, that's when we started to talk... I don't claim her as a best friend, because she doesn't know me aside from gaming. She's bullying me and I'm tired of getting treated like crap, when I've been nothing but nice towards her. I have a hard time standing up for myself...so.. and honestly, the next time she starts stuff I may get the police involved. She harasses me like no other.

SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG.

View related questions: alcoholic, best friend, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (5 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntShe is not a friend.

Block her from your life. That means you call your phone company and find out how to BLOCK a number then she can't blow up your phone.

you can't just IGNORE you have to block.. she'll get the message and stop.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (5 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntDrop her from your life. Honestly it sounds like she is majorly jealous of you and your life.

Also it sounds like she has a huge crush on you and is trying to sabotage your relationship..

Dump her from your life 100% she isn't a friend. She is toxic.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2012):

No need to apologise, it wasn't that long ;-)

You are at breaking point in this "friendship" and with friends like these, who needs enemies? She is verbally abusive to you, she makes up lies, she breaks you down, why have her in your life?

As you said, she isn't a best friend, more someone you know from gaming who has gotten to know you, but you need true friends, not this kind of harassment.

I would stop this friendship immediately - have a face to face chat with her, and express how everyting she is doing and saying has affected you and made you feel, and that you are no longer tolerating it, so you are ending the friendship. Then cut all ties, unless she totally apologises, says she will change, and give her a chance. If she does not, and gets all angry and bitter, cut off ties immediately.

Rather focus on family and your boyfriend, and don't allow this girl to ruin your day one more day!!! Who wants to wake up dreading your phone? Who wants to wake up wondering what this "friend" is going to DO to you today? No, that is not friendship. The ONLY mitigating factor on her side is that she drinks - so if she was a true friend I would say help her get a handle on that, but because she is so destructive, it's best to walk away and return to a free happy existence!

Good luck and be happy with GOOD SUPPORTIVE friends!

xxxx E

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (5 March 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntFirst up, she is not your friend. Friends don't do that crap!

I agree with the other Aunt, block her so she cannot contact you, let your family and boyfriend know what is going on, show them texts or emails if necessary, and if the harrassment continues seek legal advise.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2012):

You didn't say a single good thing about your "friend", and she doesn't act much like a friend does. You have to stand up for yourself and tell her it's over. I know you said you have a hard time with that; but she's abusing you and you need to get free of her.

Block her on Facebook, Xbox, cell phone, etc. so she can't contact you anymore. Contact the police if you have to; you need to protect yourself.

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