Throwing in the towel is never been an option if you love someone, or is it???

A male age 51-59, *DW writes:

I've been in a relationship for over a year. I moved 700 plus miles to be with this woman. We both come from long marriages with bad ex'es. We both have custody of our boys. Needless to say blending a family is hard. Please tell me if I'm being an ass, if there is validity in what she is saying. I moved here with the intention of marrying her right out of the gate. When I moved I took on a large house payment, all the bills that go with it, I pay cell phone for her and 2 boys, pay for her car to be fixed 1200 plus dollars, when I travel I send her flowers every day when I'm gone to let her know that I'm thinking of her, I added her to my checking and savings account, I clean up after myself, pay for everything 99.9% of the time when we are out, for her, her boys, etc.... Never say a word about it. I am constantly telling her how much I love her, how beautiful she is, and we are passionate with one another all the time. However, here is the heart wrenching baggage and details that is about to blow us up. I'm being told it is 100% my fault. I'm being told I'm a pathological liar, I'm not a man, not a marine, loser, piece of trash, and a piece of every fowl word you can muster up. Because of this: We aren't married yet, so I'm a liar. I haven't taken off from work like I said I would. I'm a liar. I haven't come down on my boys like I said I would. I'm a liar. I haven't purchased her a car yet. I'm a liar. It doesn't matter what I do, I'm a liar, and nothing is good enough. The reason we aren't married yet, is because she has constantly got angry with me over some of the smallest things, she takes things I say out of context, and puts words in my mouth that means nothing of what I'm trying to say at all and twist them. We get in arguments. That alone made me say, "I'm going to wait on marrying her"... When she isn't angry she wears her engagement ring. When she is in a good mood, or feels like it she wears it. She made comments she would sell it, to help with her moving out when she got angry. So I took the ring when she wasn't looking...I paid over 10K for the ring with bonus money, and I'll be damned if someone is going to sell it because they are angry. I've since given it back because we are engaged. But, she keeps telling me I'm no man for taking the ring. I have a son that is reeling from what his mother did, infidelity, lying, etc... to him. He is quiet. But, she yells at me because she says he is disrespectful. I understand that. I agree. I speak to him about it. I tell him how its going to be. But he just withdraws. He doesn't speak. But to her he is a disrespectful child, and she doesn't like him. She tells me I'm no man, because I don't tell him its her way or he can get the hell out basically. Her boys are respectful to me. No issues what so ever. But my son also see's how she yells at me, hits me, cusses me, etc... he doesn't care for her. But, he isn't argumentative with her. He does what she says. He is a 14 year old. She is constantly telling me her and her boys do all the work around the house. I would be the first one to admit if they did. But, they really don't do jack....She has a 20 year old that is a recluse in his room. A 17 year old that is failing, and lazy as anything. And a special needs son, who is a precious child, can't help it. I clean, my son helps with the dishes when asked, does things he shouldn't like take food to his room, but so does her sons. But, its all my fault because I haven't put a chores list up. So I'm a bad dad, bad guy, a liar, etc...We were having dinner tonight. She has told me she loves me no less than 20 plus times today. Sweet as sweet could be. Then she drinks two alchohaulic beverages, and starts talking about moving out because she can't deal with the kids, then it preceeds to go into I'm a liar, I'm a spoiled brat, I'm this, I'm that. I've done everything on my own, got to where I'm at by working hard. She comes from a wealthy family. All she talks about is her future inheritance. I bring that up to her, and she turns in the seat and starts to try and kick me in the face with her heels. Another fit of rage, she keyed my truck, wrote the word "Fuc and **" on the back of it. Because she said I lied about marrying her while I was out of town. She then said since I lied about that I was lying about where I was on business, she started assuming I was with someone else. I was in Australia on business, and here she is calling and yelling at me, calling me everythng in the book. She wonders why we aren't married yet!!! She is constantly putting words into my mouth, twisting everything I say. She accuses me of abusing her when all I tried to do is hold her hands from hitting me, and slapping me. She told me no man grabs a woman. I agree, but what do you do when they start hitting you. I was married 18 plus years. Never cheated, never would. Always focused on being a bread winner and providing for my family, and loving them. But, this woman whom I thought was it, the best thing to come into my life, and she turns out to have so much baggage, so many mental disorders, abusive in every way it ruins all the good that she has. She literally scares the hell out of me when she gets angry..She takes absolutely no blame for anything. Her and her boys are perfect, the victims. God will exact his revenve on me, and I will reap what I sowe she says.. I don't understand what she is talking about. I love her, tell her every day. But she is driving me crazy. I'm not one to throw in the towel, because she has so many good qualities, but her mental "Something" is taking its toll on me... Any points of views would be helpful...

View related questions: engaged, flowers, infidelity, liar, money

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