I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 29 February 2012: I've just read where he said he will support you to get your masters ... but not now. I have one word for him. Arsehole!
take care now, stay safe, if necessary take a sickie from Uni and go visit your family for a few days.... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 28 February 2012: Sending you love and best wishes. Also sending positive thoughts skywards for you to remain true to yourself, and to be your own woman.
If it gets too tough, go to your parents, they will be there for you, especially as you have already said how... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 27 February 2012: It's just his idea of what love is. Thats why he always manages to make me feel guilty :(
THAT IS NOT LOVE!
I am wanting to take your by the shoulders and shake you now! Read Cerebus's answer again. Really read it! And then tell us how long... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 27 February 2012: If he would rather go and find some woman he doesnt know to make babies with than wait for you then tell him to go for it!
I am a tad grumpy right now, so trying to promote calmness and reasoned thinking. You know what, I think you need to talk ... (read in full...)
Every conversation with husband turns into an argument!
Q. My husband of four years is a generally nice and kind man but has very firm views about things. I have tried over the years to put my views forward on things that I am not happy with in the relationship but my views are always walked over or ignored ...
A. 26 February 2012: reword your letter, make it a "when you say this I feel that" "when you do this I feel this way"
print it off and give it to him. Hopefully it will open the lines of communication. If it doesn't suggest counselling, if he wont, you go on your ... (read in full...)
He can't go, so says I can't go? Am I being selfish wanting to take this big trip with my mother to see sister in Oz?
Q. There is quite a bit going on at the moment I don't know what to do, but my main objective is to go and see my sister in Oz (who I am quite close to). She moved to the other side of the world last year and so me, my mum and my boyfriend were all ...
A. 26 February 2012: Whut? You should cancel your mother's trip of a lifetime, to see your sister, because you are going to be away from him for THREE WEEKS?
Phhht! Is he for real?
... (read in full...)
He has the ring. When will he find the right moment? Should I wait?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years this June. We have a great relationship and have lived together for the past 2 years. I trust him and he has never given me a reason not to. We are very close and are best friends and lovers. 2 1/2 years ago ...
A. 26 February 2012: Cook dinner, get out the candles, put on the romantic music, prepare a sign, and when he sits down, hold it up "NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME"
If he doesnt take the hint, pick up your pre packed bag and walk. ... (read in full...)
Friend wants me to come and spend alot of money for her birthday. I don't need the drama!
Q. I have a bit of a dilema regarding a friends birthday. I have this friend, we'll call her Tanya. We're not close, just mates who see eachother once a month or so and usually thru mutual friends as I am very close with one of her bestfriends who ...
A. 25 February 2012: £26.00 is way too much. Just stick to your guns, don't even say sorry. Just tell her, the only way you and your flat mate can participate is for you both to catch the train as the bus is not financially viable.
Quite honestly there are probably... (read in full...)
Gift for partner's mom?
Q. hello aunts and uncles, my partners mother invited us for a birthday dinner at hers and i really don't know what gift would be appropriate for her.(we can't get something together as he has already given her a gift) please note she's in her lat...
A. 25 February 2012: An indoor plant in a nice pot or a bunch of flowers, but not from the supermarket. A nice bone china tea mug or better qualitiy tinned biscuits would also be okay.
... (read in full...)
He was once a cheater, so what makes me any different?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months and I can honestly say without hesitation, I've NEVER loved anyone the way I love him. However, he has a past and it's affecting me and our relationship. Before I go any further, let me give you ...
A. 25 February 2012: I say give him a chance .... in my experience man don't start to get their sh*t together utill they are closer to 30.
He's made some mistakes, spread his wild oats and cheated on a girl, who it seems, also cheated on him.
He's also mad... (read in full...)
I'm getting tired of it, I really am!
Q. I was asking for advice concerning my ex we broke up in August remained friends he visits on weekends and has times he stays in the week I see our friendship like being on a roller coaster one minute fine then look out. We are nothing alike y...
A. 25 February 2012: it seems to me when you have had enough of getting tired about it you might DO something about it.
As far as the ex is concerned, why put up with it, why be friends with somebody who doesnt appear to add anything to your life but just detracts... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mom still buys his underware!
Q. I know some of you may find this question a bit ridiculous, but it's been driving me mad! My 27 year old boyfriend has never bought his own underwear. His mother buys them. She sends him boxers for every holiday. He has Halloween boxers, Christma...
A. 25 February 2012: I find your fixation on who buys his underwear a little weird, does he care his boxers have penguins, or halloween themes? I doubt it, otherwise he wouldn't be wearing them.
What is it you object to here, the fact his mother buys his boxers, ... (read in full...)
I don't want to rekindle our affair but his son just died ...
Q. I ended an affair with a married man 6 months ago. 2 days ago, I found out his son passed away at 21 yrs old 1 day ago. Although I avoid all contact with him, I feel bad for his lost. I want to know shld I call and give my condolences. Something ...
A. 25 February 2012: You have made the right decision to not have contact, however I can empathise with your feelings for him and his son. Find an alternate way to send your thoughts to him, some people would light a candle in a church, you could donate money to a ... (read in full...)
Torn between boyfriend and home
Q. I really dont know what to do!!! I started uni in London 3 years ago and met a lovely boy who is now my boyfriend. We've been together for nearly 3 years and we live in a flat together in London that we rent from my grandmother. London has bee...
A. 25 February 2012: I haven't taken my anti cynic pill this morning, but here is an interesting angle ... if you go back home where is your boyfriend going to live?
... (read in full...)
Should I jump ship for my old high school crush?
Q. Ive been in a relationship for the past 8yrs and we have been through a lot. He is also 7 years older. i know im not the pretty young thing like i used to be but things feel like their going nowhere. No more spark. not much conversation. not too ...
A. 24 February 2012: My concern here is that you seem prepared to leap from one relationship straight into another. How do you know that you haven't been dazzled by his material wealth and that it wont be a case of from the frying pan into the fire?
As for the new ... (read in full...)
Confidence plummeted since having a baby, does it ever get better?
Q. I gave birth to my lovely son 10 months ago. Problem is, ever since I found out I was pregnant, my confidence and self esteem has plummeted, and it's got worse since I gave birth. I'm only a bit heavier than what I was Pre Pregnancy, and I've ...
A. 24 February 2012: yes, and yes it does get better. However, just to be on the safe side, talk to a professional in the field, infant health nurse, midwife, community nurse, whoever it usually is that weighs your baby and talks about his development.
You may stil... (read in full...)
What is harassment?
Q. If a girl breaks up with a bloke and stops communication and does not tell him exactly why, is it harassment to continue to write to the girl over email every few days to find out why? I mean if she does not answer, when is it considered harassment?...
A. 24 February 2012: Her not telling you to stop is not the same as you being given a green light to continue emailing her. It should be obvious after a month of sending emails that are a little bit angry and attempting to explain your point of view, its quite clear she ... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 24 February 2012: Mother of three, grandmother of 4 here. My answer to you is
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Don't do it!
I agree with you that for him to wait a few extra years is not going to impact on his capacity to father children, you however, are still quite young ... (read in full...)
What is the most romantic way to win over an ex who is dating someone else?
Q. 5 days ago I dumped my girlfriend that I have had for 6 months. I wanted to be single and I honestly think about my ex a lot. I love her still but she is with another man. It stinks, to say the least. So after the break up I see my ex's tumblr f...
A. 24 February 2012: You dumped her after 6 months 5 days ago.
You wanted to be single.
She has a new boyfriend.
That was quick work!
I'm not sure romance will be the cure in this case, neither of you seem to have the emotional maturity needed to sustain and maint... (read in full...)
I knew he was a jerk before I met him but why does it hurt so much that he has moved on?
Q. I feel so insecure like never b4. Please help. Before I met this guy I was confident. I met him 2 years ago on a chatline. We instantly connected. It took us a while to finally meet n person because he was emotionally and verbal abusive to me. So I ...
A. 24 February 2012: Of course he would hurt you like that. He was an arsehat before you even met in real life, he was an arsehat in chat, and an arsehat when you first met. There was nothing there to indicate he would be any different at any time.
Learn what you... (read in full...)
What is harassment?
Q. If a girl breaks up with a bloke and stops communication and does not tell him exactly why, is it harassment to continue to write to the girl over email every few days to find out why? I mean if she does not answer, when is it considered harassment?...
A. 24 February 2012: It could be viewed as harrassment, especially as we dont know what went wrong in your relationship. There is very little detail in your question, such as how long you had been in a relationship, under what circumstances she broke up with you.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mom still buys his underware!
Q. I know some of you may find this question a bit ridiculous, but it's been driving me mad! My 27 year old boyfriend has never bought his own underwear. His mother buys them. She sends him boxers for every holiday. He has Halloween boxers, Christma...
A. 23 February 2012: You don't say why you think this is weird. Just because your mother doesn't buy you underwear doesn't make his mother buying him underwear weird.
She's his mother, there is nothing weird here at all and I don't see it any different to her buyi... (read in full...)
Ex says I don't deserve her. Should I fight for her or move on?
Q. My ex and I broke up last month. Less than a week later she tells me she's seeing someone new. I have had time to work on myself and want to give it another shot with her. However, she doesn't. Today she told me she still loves me but can't let ...
A. 20 February 2012: I hate that tug thing when it happens. I also hate those
2 to 4am phone calls, to me they indicate a lack of respect and a desire to muck my life up, especially when I have work or other committments to take care of in the morning.
It does s... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my ex tomorrow and don't know what to say to her
Q. Hi, so my ex is my bestfriend and we broke up months ago, but nothing in our relationship changed, except intimacy. I still spent everyday with her, until recently when she moved in october but I was staying at her house week by week coming home ...
A. 15 February 2012: You can't be best friends with an ex. It just doesn't work!
She has a boyfriend, and she has had male partners before, because she has a child.
I honestly think the best thing for you to do for YOU would be to cancel your meeting and just sim... (read in full...)
Ex says I don't deserve her. Should I fight for her or move on?
Q. My ex and I broke up last month. Less than a week later she tells me she's seeing someone new. I have had time to work on myself and want to give it another shot with her. However, she doesn't. Today she told me she still loves me but can't let ...
A. 15 February 2012: Sorry, but I laughed out loud when I read you have had enough time (one month) to work on yourself. For most people this is a task of several years at least!
What you do when she says let her be is, quite simply, let her be.
Yes, move on,... (read in full...)
I can't hurt my parents but I can't leave my boyfriend either
Q. My boyfriend loves me so much and I am his first girlfriend ever. He is the type that one woman for one life. I am also similar but I had my ex bf whom I broke up before I met this guy. My first sex was with my ex and it hurts my present bf. He ...
A. 15 February 2012: His crying is emotional blackmail.
Are you able yet to answer your mother's question?
You boyfriend is smart enough to know he has done his dash and your parents will never countenance your having a long term relationship with him, or marriage.... (read in full...)
I feel that my association with this girl is just screaming 'pedophile' even though it's legal
Q. Hey, In a weird situation right now regarding a girl's age. So the backstory is, I was out at a club with my friends, ended up talking and dancing with a few girls. As standard, try the whole 'are you coming back to mine thing' haha to whic...
A. 15 February 2012: People from different cultures are going to view your question differently. However, in Australia this relationship would not be viewed as illegal.
Some 16 year old girls are very mature in their development, both emotionally and mentally... (read in full...)
I feel it's too late for him, but I don't want to hurt him either
Q. Okay, hi everyone! :)...... Hope you can all give me some good advice, as I'm in a very confusing situation atm. I'v been with my boyfriend 3 years. We've had lots of ups and downs. Mainly downs. He can be very difficult. Jealous and controlling....
A. 14 February 2012: Listen to your head, you already know the answer, you said it yourself, the relationship has more downs than ups. Nobody is meant to live like that! Removing him from you life will create the space for a new, better relationshp with more ups than ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to put my life on hold for a while is that right of him to ask?
Q. A couple of weeks ago I got a call from a former navy recruiter, and he told me of a new opportunity that would let me enlist in the military, but it is only valid for the next two months. I was very happy about it since i have been wanting to do ...
A. 14 February 2012: Until your boyfriend is ready for what? What is happening in a year that he wants you to wait for?
I am only asking that because I am curious at his reasoning, in the meantime follow YOUR dream, you have been offered an opportunity that isnt goi... (read in full...)
How do I manage how I feel over his over zealous anxious checking up on me all the time?
Q. Hi All, thanks for stopping by and reading this. I have been dating a man for coming up to year now. he has lots going on his life. Eg: he is a full time carer for his disabled sister, and has three kids from an ex that he takes a lot ( they don...
A. 3 February 2012: On first, second and third reading of your question I was ready to put it in the 'too hard' basket, but here goes:
Sit him down and explain to him there are seven days in each week, and he can only give you two of those days. Tell him you understa... (read in full...)
Twelve years of friendship, and now four months of being ignored
Q. Let's start off here: Born blonde, beautiful, thriving, I was in Pennsylvania. And then we make a huge move. My grandfather was very ill with lupus and old age, and we needed to be with him as soon as possible. No one knew when he'd go. Our pla...
A. 2 February 2012: Its a nice little bit of writing there ...rather fanciful in places.
Sam might not be interested in taking a starring role in your story ...you may need to find a new leading man, one who is prepared to be Heathcliff to your Catherine, Antony to y... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to ask to see my boyfriend's check stubs?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been living together for 6 months and in the beginning he was not employed. The agreement was that he would pay me XX amount of dollars until he went back to work. After he got a new job, then we would revisit the money ...
A. 2 February 2012: Its not a man thing, nor are you being controlling.
He needs to contribute, and he needs to contribute a fair amount.
You dont need to see his cheque stubs and he doesnt need to see your business books.
However, he can tell you surely, wha... (read in full...)
Husband confessed to having sex with a prostitute 3 years back during an official trip. Now he has a trip to Bangkok coming up and I'm horrified at the thought of letting him go!
Q. Some 3 years back my husband had sex with a prostitute on an official trip abroad, he back and confessed too but since then I cannot trust him and I am constantly living under the fear that sooner or later he will do it again. How can I start trus...
A. 1 February 2012: You are caught between a rock and a hard place, there is no good way to handle this situation. If you keep quiet your distrust will gnaw at you and come out somehow, somewhere, later down the track, if you do say something it may cause friction, he ... (read in full...)
Do I have an anger problem or are my reasons rational?
Q. So me and my gf have been dating for like a year and 2 months. Lately i have been getting kinda impatient with things that happen. It is pretty much simple small thing like not talking to me over the phone, acting a bit foolish, and little things of ...
A. 31 January 2012: Q: Is anger justified when a teenage girl doesn't talk to somebody on the phone?
A: No
Q: Is anger justified when a teenage girl acts a little foolish?
A: No, it is normal behaviour for teenage girls to act and be a little foolish.
... (read in full...)
He seemed interested and then did a complete 360! What happened here?
Q. I went to our employee christmas party,it was employees only so we were all sorta hanging and mingling with each other,well after a few drinks I was feeling rather comfortable with a coworker guy friend of mine. he and I actually flirted with each ...
A. 30 January 2012: What does it matter, you have a partner and child at home. Maybe he knows about the boyfriend and child and isn't interested in cheaters.
... (read in full...)
Are all FWB relationships conducted, in this way?
Q. Hi everyone this question is for people who are in a fwb arrangement. how well do they treat you. I am in one. have been for 11 months now. he never comes round apart from the obvious when he is horny. he is not speaking to me at the moment because ...
A. 30 January 2012: I don't understand why this arrangement is called "friend" with benefits, from my reading here at Dear Cupid, there is often nothing friendly in dhe relationship at all!
As for the benefits in your situation, what are the benefits you are receivin... (read in full...)
This 'happily married man' seems too eager to perform handy man favours for my girlfriend
Q. Prior to meeting my girlfriend a year and a half ago, she met this supposedly “happily married” man at a church social function. According to my girlfriend, he apparently calls her from time-to-time to say “hi,” and will always inquire about any ...
A. 29 January 2012: Random people do help people with no thought for repayment. Not everybody is out to get everybody else. The OP has not given enough information to make a judgment based on the facts.
He has no reason to believe the man offering assistan... (read in full...)
After six months my boyfriend still hasn't told his new friends I even exist
Q. My extremely introverted boyfriend went away to teachers college for 6 months to make some friends. He did it! Is great friends with his housemate and a few other people he met from school. Anyway, the time has come for me to meet him up there so we ...
A. 29 January 2012: LOL at you saying your boyfriend went to teacher's college to make new friends. I am sure that wasn't the reason.
There are a lot of people who don't go telling everybody all the private details of their lives within the first six months of meeti... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to prepare for a birthday spanking?
Q. My birthday is coming up and my boyfriend says he is going to give me two gifts. One that I will really enjoy, the other is going to hurt. I asked him about the one that is going to hurt, and he tells me just wait and you'll see, then he puts his ...
A. 29 January 2012: You want to be hurt for your birthday?
... (read in full...)
This 'happily married man' seems too eager to perform handy man favours for my girlfriend
Q. Prior to meeting my girlfriend a year and a half ago, she met this supposedly “happily married” man at a church social function. According to my girlfriend, he apparently calls her from time-to-time to say “hi,” and will always inquire about any ...
A. 29 January 2012: Personally I feel that if his intentions were to curry good favour in order to get a bit of lurvin' on the side he would have made the moves by now.
Is there anything apart from your belief nobody does good deeds without an underlying reason t... (read in full...)
Should I block my ex? He broke up with me because he didn't like the present I gave him
Q. On December 2010 I got dumped by my boyfriend. We'd been really good friends a few years before we started dating and then I feel like when we started dating we moved way too fast. Then on Christmas I got him a present and he said he didn't l...
A. 28 January 2012: Block him, especially if his creeping around your blog makes you feel uncomfotable.
... (read in full...)
Sent my boyfriend a fancy picture of myself and he compared me to someone else
Q. Dear Cupid, As a new year resolution I told my boyfriend that I was going to take better care of myself.. Do my hair better and wear makeup, because usually I go without any makeup. He never complains about how I look as he himself is a pretty l...
A. 28 January 2012: He loves YOU enough that he plans to marry this year. Poor blighter probably didn't realise what a hole he was digging when he failed to recognise your putting on makeup as a way to improve yourself, he may not even have thought you could be ... (read in full...)
She blows off a date twice and then ends things saying she's had enough?
Q. think only woman can help me here the problem is we have been together 4 years both have our own houses the problem is it was my birthday 2 weeks ago she says she wasnt well enough to go out and get me a present we are both in our forties sorry ...
A. 27 January 2012: wah wah wah, somebody call the wahhhbulance.
It was your birthday, she was too ill to go out and buy the widdle boy a present.
The next day she is still not well, and the next day too ....
so instead of saying I am sorry you are not feeling ... (read in full...)
He thinks I don't care about him because I won't change my schedule.
Q. ok so i'm quite upset and I don't know what to do. I kinda got into a fight with my best friend. Last night he called me because he was really depressed and I was trying to get his mind off of things well he just starts to attack me saying that I ...
A. 27 January 2012: You want my honest opinion? I hope you do because here it comes!
Get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle, in the left column write down all the postitive things this boy brings to your life, in the right, all the negativity and stre... (read in full...)
Was it right to tell the father of my child, someone on drugs who has been harassing me, that the child isn't actually his?
Q. hi. ok so i really do understand about all the parental rights and everything (i think!) but could really really use a bit of advice!! please be honest.. please dont judge but please dont just be nice to me... im 19 years old and im 20 weeks pr...
A. 26 January 2012: My qualifications to answer this question are:
I am a grandmother
I have been a single mother
I was worked for 10 years for a crisis line.
And some other stuff not up for public discussion.
I don't think you have done the wrong thing in doing... (read in full...)
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