A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I really need help with this situation I have been sleeping with a man for over a year now I really like him he told me we were just taking things slowly but now I finally aksed him what was going on with us he said it is just sex so I asked him who he would want to be with when he did want a relationship I said me or someone else he said he didn't know so I told him I'm not gonna be single forever and he went in a mood with me we I went out I was drunk and kissed a man in front of him just to get a reaction I did he didn't speak to me for five weeks sao now my question is its obvious to me now he never wants to be with me the same way I want to be with him so how do I break it off gently so we can still keep in contact he has also told me he still loves his ex thank you
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drunk, his ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (13 April 2012):
''Im not interested in this arrangement anymore, dont contact me again'' will suffice.
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (9 April 2012):
I think "so long" would work. Or you could equivalently try "see ya," "later," or just plain ol "goodbye."
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A
female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (9 April 2012):
 What a mess! This man is emotionally unavailable to you and the fact that you haven't spoken for 5 weeks would tell me it was over without anyone having to say it.
In all honesty if a man told me he was just with me for sex, that would be the end for me and there wouldn't be anything gentle about it either.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 April 2012):
 Just tell him it's over. No need for kid gloves , he obviously don't give a rats ass about your feelings so why should you care for his?
And there is NO need to keep in touch with him, honey. He will not magically figure out that you are the love of his life. DUMP the dead weight and move on. PUT him in the past.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2012): Just stop having sex with him! Your not in a relationship so there's nothing to break off. Stop letting him use you for sex and he'll go away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2012): You don't kiss a guy in front of the One You are Sleeping with, playing games is dishonest- and expect the Guy to be Best of Buds forever.
You don't respect yourself, he doesn't respect you, there is no REAL basis for a loving relationship.
So why be friendly or kind about it? You weren't kind when you kissed that fella.
End it. No texting, nada.
MOVE ON.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 April 2012):
 I too don't see any need to be gentle. I don't get this need to be FRIENDS with an ex... friendly terms sure... but NOT friends...
it's over
block his info and move on.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 April 2012):
 I am also asking why are you wanting to end this gently.
I also don't understand why you want to remain in contact with somebody who used you as a convenient hole to stick his penis in when he needed sexual relief.
This person is taking up space that could be filled by a loving caring considerate person. Kick him out to create room for somebody decent to move in. Just tell him the supply has dried up and he needs to move on to the next convenience or buy a blow up doll.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 April 2012):
 But why would you want to be gentle and keep in touch ?
he said it's just sex, and, basically, that he does not give a fig about you , so that would include also friendship feelings, that he does not have. Instead , you have romantic feelings for him, so the situation is unbalanced and you are BOUND to get hurt the more you drag it on. Just end it, and don't worry about being gentle, if it 's your sex life you are worried about, .. I don't think that a woman in her 20s has ever too much of a problem in finding a replacement .
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (9 April 2012):
Why do you still want to be in contact with him? For the occassional hookup? Look, if you want to end things with someone, gently or not gently he may not want to keep in contact with you. And if he only wants to have sex with you, then I really don't think he cares to keep in contact with you if you're not going to be sleeping with him anymore.
Sometimes, people just don't see themselves being with you or they don't want a relationship. Don't take it personally--just take it as a lesson learned and don't have a casual relationship with someone unless that is something that you want.
Just give him a call and tell him that you both want different things and it's probably best if you both move on to find what you're each looking for.
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A
female
reader, cupidlover89 +, writes (9 April 2012):
He already ended things gently for you when he did not speak to you for five weeks. This man doesn't even deserve a gentle closing, he basically used you until you finally spoke up, all those excuses he has are typical butthole guy sayings. Girl you don't even need to give him anymore of your time not even 30secs. Just move on and find someone who actually wants to be with you
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