A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Being in a relationship or a companionship with a man for three years, this last year he has pulled away from me, no dates, no making time for me, if there is a argument, he talks about ending it, that it to much work, he doesnt treat me like his woman any more but does says he loves me and making love is still good. So why do I feel rejected insecure alone, what can i do to make him see my hurt without complaining and pushing him away.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): thanks to all for the advice, really needed to hear those things. Keep the advice coming
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 April 2012):
 I don't think he sees what you two have as a relationship, just a "fwb" or booty call type deal.
He's spend the last year pulling away from the relationship but still shows up for the sex. Once you vent or bring up your feelings he runs off. Why? Because he doesn't care.
Saying he loves you doesn't mean he actually loves you.
LOOK at his actions for a moment. Do they speak of love? Or more of indifference?
He can say I love you til the cows come home, doesn't make it true.
Sorry, honey I think this relationship has run it's course. You are getting NOTHING out of this emotionally other then hurt feelings - how can that work for you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): Hes left this relationship emotionally already.
He threw the ball in your court by saying its to much and doesnt want a relationship. You havent listened so he keeps coming back for the sex thats on offer.
Turn this around on him. Tell him you no longer enjoy your time with him and that the only thing thats good is the sex, but you want some one more than a fuck buddy, and politely show him the door.
He will keep taking aslong as you give and you will then be sapped of all your self esteem if he leaves you for someone he really wants to be with.
Nip this in the bud before it gets this far, cause believe me you need to move on and heal from the heartache you are going through now.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 Are you sure he would even CARE about your hurt once he has seen it ?
From what you say, it sounds as if all he cares about is low maintenance,convenient, effortless good sex. He may say he loves you, but how does he SHOW it ? Talk is cheap.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 Horrible man. He recognises you are in a position of uncertainty and is using that to keep you cowered.
If he doesnt do dates, if he doesn't make time for you, but says the sex is good, it would seem that is all he is there for, the sex.
That's not love, its very easy to say "I love" but actions speak louder than words in this case.
You have become his booty call. The reason he doesnt see your hurt is because he doesn't care. If he cared your hurt would not push him away, if he loved you the hurt you are feeling would be cause for him to wrap you in your arms and try to kiss things better.
Stop being his booty call, if he wont take you out on dates take yourself, create a life for yourself without depending on this poor excuse of a man, it might bring him to his senses or yes, he might leave when he realises you are not there to be his convenient "hole" anymore. Either way, with him or without him, it would be a better life for you.
Dont waste any more years on waiting for him, get out there and live, time is marching on!
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