A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I am in so much pain, my boyfriend and I spent an entire week together, I was on vacation and chose to spend it with him just to see how we would do under that same roof. Anyways we had a great time on Monday and Tuesday night after he got home from work, then Wednesday comes around and I try to dress really pretty and do my make-up and come on to him sexually, but he wants nothing to do with it, so I accepted that he was not in the mood and went on to do something else I started to play a video game and he just lay in bed hiding his face. I asked him what is wrong? he said he was feeling bad that he could not give me what I wanted and felt like a bad boyfriend I told him he is not. The conversation escalated into a fight, cause he does not like being the only person paying for stuff and then on my end I feel he should be talking to a counselor or something and he was for a while and stopped it. So I have no job and I am stuck being the lucky person not getting a job even when I am trying. Him attacking me about a job I don't understand. He thinks if I have a job maybe he would finally feel love for me which he does not and has not the whole time we have been together which is only a year, but its getting hard being the only person who is able to feel anything. He does not make sense when he said that. On my end I feel that the reason he feels nothing for no one is a deeper issue that needs to be dealt with a counselor or something. He has not seen his counselor for 3 months now and I feel it's making more problems cause he is not getting help. So after these arguments we got over them and woke the next day okay, but then had intamicy issues on my end cause I could not have sex because I felt not passion coming from him and it turned me off, we tried sex later that night and it was great and we then went to bed. Then comes friday I am feeling good he comes home all down I ask him what is wrong and he is still feeling down about Wednesday which I felt was over with. he brought the whole thing up again and in the end told me he did not want to do anything else with me this weekend and wanted me to leave his house we argued all the way until I drove away. I felt so much pain and hurt. All I wanted to do was feel okay in the end. His reasoning for asking me to leave was so he could have the whole weekend for himself so he could clean his room which he had put off for the past month even though he kept saying he was going to do it he never took the time. Now all the sudden he chooses to do it and break my heart up by the whole situation. All he did on friday night was drink and I did not see how that was supposed to fix anything I told him i was going to do the same, but I did not need too. I knew it would do nothing. I still feel so much pain and hurt from the emotional torture I feel he is giving me. I want to see us work, but I am just not sure how to mend. I am not sure what else to say other then please help and if you need more information I will give it. THanks in advance.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): Let him have the weekend.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 April 2012):
 The only person putting you into a position where you feel tortured is yourself.
He told he has never felt love for you, not at all during the past 12 months. Maybe he has actually been giving you signals about how he feels that you have not picked up on.
I know emotional pain cuts deep, but you cannot force him to give you love that doesn't exist.
One of the best ways to deal with a broken heart is to force yourself to keep busy. Update your resume, go cold calling on prospective employers. Make a pact with yourself to apply for at least two jobs everyday. Enrol for a night class. Find somewhere to do volunteer work.
Keep busy, focus on what you need to do in order to build a fulfilling life for yourself, start saving for that trip you have always wanted, put a saving plan into place, even a dollar a day will soon mount up!
You will find while you are focussing on building the stepping stones of your life's pathway that eventually the best form of revenge is your success.
Stop flogging the dead horse of a relationship, and start working!
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (1 April 2012):
 sounds like he just wanted his space back & you out of it people get used to the routine of their lives
the worrying thing is he said he had never loved you SO why is he stringing you along knowing how you love him? does he say where he sees the relationship heading? its not your fault you dont work but hes feeling the pressure of being the only one with cash
ask him where you are going & if he sees you in his future its hard for you but you need to know where you stand give him some space to cool off then go talk
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