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Married teacher is always staring at me....what should I think?

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 April 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 25 January 2017)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

OMG, I just can't figure what's going on? (my male teacher) He's married and he's 32-33 - ALWAYS stares ONLY at me in class for so long and sometimes I look back, but he doesn't turn away and stares deeper in my eyes, so I instinctively felt that he likes me, but I don't know. One day we were having coffee and he sat next to me and constantly looked at my eyes like nothing and no one else mattered. Furthermore, he finds a way to chat and joke with me when he is around. My best friend also noticed these things and says that he maybe is trying to express that he has something for me... What should I think? Is he trying to flirt? When a guy is attracted to you usually does the same things...

View related questions: best friend, flirt

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A female reader, khansimran India +, writes (25 January 2017):

plsss.stop thinking about this

all he wants is sex........he lusts you...nothing else

stay away from him.

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A male reader, landomando United States +, writes (10 April 2012):

This is exactly whats wrong. you need to go to highschool partys and meet people who arent twice your age and married. Talk to them and they will show you some attention because thats what you are looking for.

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A female reader, ToHereKnowsWhen Australia +, writes (10 April 2012):

ToHereKnowsWhen agony auntI am going to assume that you (1) wear the correct school uniform, (2) you're paying attention in class, and (3) you always do all of your homework.

Perhaps he has a bit of a crush on you. However, keep in mind that he is a teacher and he should also be keeping an appropriate distance from you, physically and professionally. If you are not comfortable with him you need to tell him and the sooner, the better.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012):

I think you need to meet his wife and See the REALITY of the situation. Right now its 'harmless' to you to fantasize and build his 'staring' into he has something for you.

Lust makes people incredibly stupid ESPECIALLY teenagers.

You are selfish and think because he stares at you, its okay to break up his marriage by chasing after a man that is older, married and by moral standards of what is Right -should not even be more than a momentary bleep on your radar.

So how about you be wise and tell him he is an adult, is in a position of trust and could be charged, stand to lose his job, and have his marriage dissolve.

I would ask him next time, are you acting appropriate around Me Mr Married Man? Would you be this engaged in talking to me and flirting with me if Wife was around?

I'm sure he will say you are mistaken. And stop paying you ANY attention.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (10 April 2012):

Tisha-1 agony auntI've discovered as I age that my eyesight got worse, I had to really try to focus on things that once were easy to see. I suspect your teacher has an eyesight issue.

I like Aunty BimBim's idea too, that he's trying to 'shame' you into doing your schoolwork instead of playing staring contest with him.

Lots and lots of male teachers have to leave the profession as they are the object of schoolgirl fantasies. A few do act inappropriately and do not deserve to be teachers, no matter how much they studied and worked to get a teaching credential. The key for you is to determine if he is being inappropriate or not.

If he is displaying flirtatious behavior, then you have to report that immediately to another adult, such as a parent or perhaps the guidance counselor at your school. An investigation will be made, I'm certain there's a protocol for it and no doubt you will be removed from his class or he will be transferred, until such time as the whole story is understood.

If this is fantasy on your part, however, you are risking this teacher's career and livelihood. I would tread VERY cautiously and in fact, I would advise that you treat him very formally. Do your homework, keep your eyes to yourself and get a great grade so you have more options as you further your education.

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A female reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth India +, writes (10 April 2012):

Foot-In-My-Mouth agony auntI would have asked you to glare at him and make him uncomfortable so that he has to look away but that's probably not advisable as he's your teacher. Give him the cold shoulder and pretend like he doesn't exist. That should work (provided you want that to happen and don't have a crush on him too).

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (10 April 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntCould it be possible he is trying to stare you into doing your school work?

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A female reader, Libra1963  +, writes (10 April 2012):

Libra1963 agony auntIt is nice to be noticed and yes he probably is attracted to you. However, he is your teacher and you need to keep to the boundaries or he will lose his job.

When he stares at you, avoid staring back. Consider how you are wearing your uniform so as not to lead him on. For others to be noticing, it is now a concern.

If he continues to make you feel uncomfortable you need to speak to him ideally with someone present. If he continues, you may well have to report him.

We are all humans and we can not avoid being attracted to each other but as a professional he needs to control himself and work on his body language - as you say he is married and you do not want to create a reputation for yourself at school!

Good Luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012):

It's not the 1st time a student likes a teacher, or a teacher likes a student.

In your case, he is the adult and should behave as such. Staring could be many things - he could be mulling things over in his mind, or he could find you fascinating, and as long as it does not go beyond staring, it's not a crime yet. However, if it's enough to make you uncomfortable, find a moment where after a class a friend of yours and you could approach him and tell him you are not comfortable with him staring, for him to please stop and act appropriately. I'm sure that will stop it.

Look after your own heart and don't allow him to make it more. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you, with someone who will be your equal and free to love you as you do them, not a married professional who is not behaving quite like that.

Good Luck!

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