A
female
age
41-50,
*crib12
writes:I separated from husband 4months ago. We're married for 5months. I found an excuse to get out since i felt emotionally abused. He made every discussion and living very difficult and we just never saw eye to eye,(finances, household chores, living arrangement, emotional support for me) to a point i got very paranoid that i started fearing for my life. Now i've come around to communicating to him that i left because of our issues. I've asked him he comes to my country we discuss and visit a marriage counsellor to sort them out. He has insisted that i mail him the issues. I'm against it since it might send the wrong message. It is good to have such a serious talk at a face to face level for direct and elaborate response and answers. How do i get him to see this point? Am i being unreasonable asking him to travel over 6000miles for this? It appears he doesn't have a clue on what was happening between us. Pls give a word on this Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (22 July 2012):
 You were married for one month and then separated? I think a reasonable solution is to seek an annulment, as you haven't really been husband and wife and now you are 6000 miles apart?
I think the really wise solution for you would be to have an attorney mail him the divorce papers.
The length of the marriage and the incoherence of the post suggest that it's not really a viable marriage that will benefit from qualified marriage counseling.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 July 2012):
 The idea of a counsellor is that they are the independant people, who will facilitate sessions between you and your husband to try and find some common ground that you can build on. Sending him an email outlining your issues is not the same thing.
If he was ruling your life while you were married there is no reason to suppose he will not try to force your hand or point of view via emails.
It sounds as if you left where his is, to go home to Kenya, did you meet in Kenya or somewhere else? Is he financially able to travel 6000 miles to come and discuss your marriage with a counsellor? If you are too frightened to go back to where he is, or if you don't believe your marriage will improve without him coming to see a consellor with you, just stay put.
You have made your decisions, and told him what you will accept, if he can't live with that it is his choice.
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (22 July 2012):
 You know,the good news is you got out of the marriage quickly. He might never see your point of view. In this world, not many people care what happens to others. We live in a world where righteousness is not rewarded. A world where the bad people win and the good people (like yourself) lose. If you need someone to send a private message to, I'm there. I think you should just let it go. It is not going to work out especially if you say you are fearing for your life.
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