A
female
age
30-35,
*tar.Aqua
writes:I am 23 years old and so is he. we've had a 5 year relationship.. after finding out i was pregnant our problems began.. I left him when I was 7 months pregnant because of cheating suspicions . after my baby was born, he moved on dating an older woman at the age of my mother 46.. she is fricking rich with no kids.. its been a year now since we broke up and I still can't get over him.. I find myself needing someone to be around with, my daughter might be needing her Dad.. This past friday I was with my baby's Dad, he told me that she treats him like a spoiled kid, buying stuff and all that for him.. He drives her vehicles. he went through my phone and saw that i was texting with someone else I just began to date.. we argued over it and I mentioned that it is now my life without him since he moved on and I feel the need to have someone for myself.. However, my deepest thoughts at night are still with my baby's father.. He said that he still loves me and our daughter and asked me if I would want us to get back together, of course I want that... He said that they always argue about me because she is insecure that him and I will be back together. He said leaving her would not be easy because she has given him so much and he would feel ungrateful towards her. I asked him to leave me alone but he wouldn't..the following day he came to look for the baby and I went to work.. when i came back from work, he brought back the baby and said that she is being suspicous that we are still seeing each other.. I really want to move on but he wants us to keep a close friendship and I feel that I can't move on if I still see him because my heart stil belongs to him.. Please what should I do?
View related questions:
broke up, get back together, insecure, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2012): This sounds like what happened between two friends of mine. He broke up with her and started a relationship with a rich older lady. He also kept playing these games with her, and saying all these things to her about if she wanted him back. In the end he married the rich older lady, because he was a money grubbing jerk like your baby daddy. The truth is he has made his decision to be with this woman, and he can;t have you both. You and your daughter deserve so much better. Please make arrangements to get this man out of yur life, of course it isn't easy as you share a child, but as other's have suggested ask relatives if they can be mediators between you and this man so he can still see his daughter, without you having to see him at all. Make any financial arrangements legal and formalised, and seek legal advice for your country and see what you are legally required to do in regards to his access to your daugter. Be strong because you are a very strong woman and you do deserve better.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 July 2012):
 I recall you writing about your situation previously. Because your baby's father is a money grubber, who will suck up to an older woman for the material things it will bring him it seems you are going to have to be the tough one in this relationship.
I strongly urge you to drop all ideas of your loving him, he is unworthy of your love. Dont waste the best parts of yourself on such a scoundrel!
If you feel you can't move on because you still see him, then stop seeing him. Ask your mother or an Aunt to be an intermediary when he wants to see his child, this means he can visit her at their place and you don't have to be there. It will also mean he wont be able to go through your phone, sticking his nose into your life, he has no rights to do that, he gave them up when he moved in with his rich old lover!
Seek legal advise, if he wants to be the baby's daddy he will have to start acting like it, make any financial arrangments formal, register them with the courts or whatever is required by your country's laws.
Stop acting like his doormat and start acting like the lioness you can be ... watch any wild life documentaries and you will see it is the lioness who rules, regardless how much noise the lion makes!
You need to be a good role model for your daughter, if you want her to grow up to be a wishy washy female without the nous to help herself do nothing. But I strongly urge you to get tough, get tough on him and even tougher on yourself. Your baby deserves it!
...............................
|
