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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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I love him, but I think he's running away
Q. Okay long story short, i met a boy 'Andrew' at school. we went out for about a week in yr 9 but broke up mutually because we both weren't ready. After the break up we became closer and spoke more often, and i always remembered the feeling i felt w...
A. 3 February 2009: I think no matter what anyone says here you guys will end up together! Just keep your word about the self-harm so he trusts you and I would not spend time together with his Mum.... (read in full...)
I know he still has feelings for me but I just don't know what to do?
Q. So last summer I met this guy, we started off friends but I kinda had an idea that he liked me. We started to hang out and I really started to develop feelings for him. We started to text every day and were acting like a couple, practically going ...
A. 3 February 2009: It sounds like he is trying to push you away as he doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship, but does have feelings for you.
Maybe it is worth keeping it casual for now, if you meet a nice guy in England follow your heart. If you can'... (read in full...)
His family & co are living with us and its driving me crazy!
Q. ok well me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and half now and have been living together for eight months. Recently his sister who is a lesbian lost her job and her and her girlfriend needed somewhere to stay. I'd never met the girlfriend ...
A. 3 February 2009: Wow, your boyfriend needs to man up and support you. It sounds like you have the right idea by wanting to evict the girlfriend. I really think it might be worth getting legal advise if your other half won't back you up. Also have you tried talking ... (read in full...)
I thought about him every day....
Q. Please help. I fell in love with a man 5 years a go; and it was love at first sight for me. he never felt the same way and we never spoke again. I never stopped thinking about him and I know i know this sounds cheesy but i really love him.Even th...
A. 3 February 2009: This is so hard to answer as you know what is coming. You really must try and move on. Now you know he is married it may make it easier.
I'm sorry I couldn't be more help but I felt someone had to answer you.
Good luck ... (read in full...)
Does this make me a bad person I wonder?
Q. I been Friend with a guy for a really long time and he's liked me for years but i was never single or had the same feelings for him, But Know That he has a Girlfriend (wich i know he doesnt like her that much) but i find myslef feel jelious, but i ...
A. 3 February 2009: You are not a bad person, just don't act on what you are feeling. If he splits up with his girlfriend maybe you could ask him out then.
It's not unusual to want what you can't have. ... (read in full...)
Living situation?
Q. Hello! I'll get right to the point. I currently live with my father and have for several years now after my parents divorced. My current life is nice, though I have no motivation for anything. It's an extremely small town with no movies, malls...
A. 3 February 2009: My advise is to show your Dad what you have written here. I'm sure he will understand, it is clear that you will be much happier with your Mum, but that is not about either parent just the geography.
When you do leave make sure you do make tim... (read in full...)
Wrong for 19 year old guy to want a 13 year old girl?
Q. well my question is, is it wrong for a 19 year old boy to want a 13 year old girl (he wants her in the bad way and has done the same to other girls and then dumped them after he got what he wanted) and if so how do i help this girl if she won't ...
A. 3 February 2009: YES it is VERY VERY Wrong! Tell her you are worried about it and if he makes a move on her call the police! This is counted as paedophilia and is illegal!... (read in full...)
He needs to realize that if he keeps acting this way, he'll lose me and his friends.
Q. I'm in love. I've been with this boy about 4 months and i'm sure its the real deal. The only thing is i've done alot to make this work including fighting with my mom..[she doesn't approve of him] why? because of his ways. we fight, break up and then ...
A. 3 February 2009: Oh sweetheart you have fallen into the old cliché. You cannot change someone who doesn't want to change, I fear his friends and your mum are probably right. You can do and deserve better than a guy who acts like that.
By telling him about it... (read in full...)
The importance of pictures in a relationship
Q. Hi, My gf and I have been dating for a while and it has really been wonderful. There is one thing that bothers me though, we rarely take pictures together and when we go out we don't take as much pics as I would like us to... Is that a problem o...
A. 3 February 2009: I don't think it is a major issue at all. Does your girlfriend like having her photo taken. I know a lot of people can be self conscious about having their picture taken. I really wouldn't worry about it. ... (read in full...)
He flirts around a lot but I don't know if it's just me or with everyone.
Q. I'm in love with a guy.. don't know how he feels. We used to text and call loads but recently he's taken a step back... he hasn't called me in a month but we still have our online convos.. when I tell him I love him he thinks I'm joking... He fli...
A. 3 February 2009: Sorry I'm a little confused, have you actually met this guy in real life or has it all been phone and internet?... (read in full...)
Does she see me as a friend? Or more?
Q. Hi, I just wondered if i could have your opinion on a situation i'm in with a girl. I've known this girl for about 8 years now, she is the sister of one of my best friends. Although i have known her for quite some time, it is not until recently (ie. ...
A. 3 February 2009: Sounds flirty to me! ... (read in full...)
He didn't text back... Why?
Q. This guy is really confusing me! I've asked a question about him before heres the link http://www.dearcupid.org/question/so-does-he-like-me.html anyway today I decided to text him. I said hey what's up. He text back saying so who is this lol? I t...
A. 3 February 2009: He's either very very shy, and doesn't know what to say to you, or is not interested.
Try texting him again, this time (now this is the clever bit) Ask him out! Try something like: hello (put his name here) it's (put your name here), (name a ... (read in full...)
Cheating with him and now he says "No sex"
Q. Hi I'm currently involved with a married. We have been together for almost 7 years. He often says that he feels bad about cheating but keeps doing it. I'm not trying to take him from his family but I enjoy the time we spend together. He recently ...
A. 3 February 2009: As I said before, men are weak minded, it really does sound like he wants to give his relationship a second chance, but if you are still there offering it to him on a plate he will take it.
Have some moral courage and walk away for good. After al... (read in full...)
How can I cope with my boyfriend going to prison?
Q. my boyfriends going away to prison for 7 months and i don't know how im gonna cope. i had to wait for my last boyfriend for a year and a half and i don't know if i could do it again? i don't want him to go but i can't do anything about it? how am i ...
A. 2 February 2009: I agree with kellyxxx, I think you should probably find some new places to hang out and find a different type of guy. But can I suggest probably not soldiers, sailors or airmen as we tend to spend a lot of time away too. Good luck ... (read in full...)
Age Disparity?
Q. I am writing a paper about if the law should be changed on what age you can date people and if there should be a consentual age. Please respond with any suggestions or information to help me out. Thanks!!!...
A. 2 February 2009: How about you do some real research, and write your own essays! This is a really lazy way to get information and shows that if you are not mature enough to do your own homework you certainly shouldn't have sex!... (read in full...)
I hate porn....hate it!
Q. Ok, so i have been with my bf who i love and who loves me back a lot for a about 1 1/2 years. Things are great btwn us...we live together, have a great sex life, went and constantly go thru the good, the bad, the really bad, etc. but he watches ...
A. 2 February 2009: Show him your post and the answers you get! I think it is a case of PORN or you! It's his choice and if he truly loves you he would give up ANYTHING for you! Good luck. ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want to get involved with someone younger than 16
Q. Well I've been talking to this guy. And I really like him, my friends say he likes me and that i should just ask him if he does. But he said that he doesn't want to get involved with under 16s after what happened before. And then theres this girl ...
A. 2 February 2009: Sounds very dodgy! I would stay well clear, if he has had a past with under age girls! It can be dangerous for you and he could end up in serious trouble with the Police.... (read in full...)
How long should we wait before we sleep together?
Q. Im currently kinda seeing a guy that lives far away from me we have only been together twice but we email and ring each other a lot in between the times I go to see him. I just wanna know how long we should wait before we sleep together? I really ...
A. 2 February 2009: I always found that as long as it wasn't the first or second date, that I would have more respect for the girl and actually used it as a bit of a test, to see if she was the kind of girl for a relationship.
I think if you have been out with him... (read in full...)
If I talk to another guy on MSN, is this cheating?
Q. okay, so i have been goin' out with my guy for ages now, and i'm in a secret and luving relationship. about 5 days ago, a lad added me on msn, and we started talking all he does is shower me with compliments, but everytime he talks to me, afterward...
A. 2 February 2009: You feel guilty, therefore you should delete and block this guy for good!... (read in full...)
Sex wasn't a great experience for me
Q. So i was making out with a girl in a club and i was llike really hard that time but then we wanted to take it further..so we went to the beach and we tried to have sex over there ..i got reaaly hard..and i went inside her but it was winter and ...
A. 2 February 2009: It's stage fright! And a cold beach when you are drunk is the worst place to have sex, well maybe not the worst but certainly not great!
Stop making a big deal out of it, once you find a girl and relax around her girls like the whole romantic... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable for a 27 year old to date a 17 year old?
Q. I am a 27 year old guy and have recently found myself in a tricky situation. I really like the sister of my workmate. I have chatted to her a few times, and we had a really great time together at his birthday party. She is drop dead gorgeous and we ...
A. 2 February 2009: OK firstly you are in the UK so she is a consenting adult, but saying that, she is still a minor in the eyes of the law.
I think you should consider your workmate in this situation, how would you feel if a 27 year old was sleeping with your 17 ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be interested in older women?
Q. First of all, in order to understand wher I am coming from, it might prove beneficial to know a little about me. I am 18 years old, and in college. I study Computer Information Systems and Network, with a minor in German. German is my real ...
A. 2 February 2009: Simply YES it sounds perfectly normal and reasonable.
... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid here? Am I crazy???
Q. I have taken a pregnancy test that came out negative, but my period is irregular, I'm gaining weight even though I'm dieting and exercising, I'm tired, my boobs are sore, and are getting bigger and I'm always hungry. I just don't want to be one of ...
A. 2 February 2009: I don't think you are crazy. There is nothing wrong with seeking a second opinion and no true medical professional would be offended if you asked for a second opinion.
Go and get checked out again
Good luck... (read in full...)
Pregnant a possibility?
Q. hello everyone, I had sex in november and i had my period 2 weeks afterwards and i had one december but it was late! i didn't have one in january which really concerns me. i've looked up symptoms for pregnacy and i dont really have any. i ...
A. 2 February 2009: Umm you could be pregnant! WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A TEST? I'm sorry but a forum like this will not give you a clinical answer where as a two minute pregnancy test will! Come on you are not a 15 year old girl you are an adult! If you do a tes... (read in full...)
Cheating with him and now he says "No sex"
Q. Hi I'm currently involved with a married. We have been together for almost 7 years. He often says that he feels bad about cheating but keeps doing it. I'm not trying to take him from his family but I enjoy the time we spend together. He recently ...
A. 2 February 2009: Leave him! It's not fair to put him in this position. Men are weak minded fools and sometimes need a kick in the backside, I really think you should look for a nice single guy and wish him luck getting back on track with his wife!... (read in full...)
I kiss a lad and now he doesn't talk to me
Q. me n me bf been going out for 5 months now. he hardly tlks to me and when he does tlk to me its usually about sex or me leaving him. I dnt wnt us to split up because I love this guy. He always ust to tell me he loves me but now he dunt he dunt ...
A. 2 February 2009: If you want to be with a lad that shows no interest in you stay with him. If there are guys out there that are nice and show a genuine interest, get rid of your boyfriend and enjoy the company of a nice guy. You are still young and only live once, ... (read in full...)
1st gyn visit--mom will be there
Q. I have many issues that I'm really worried about and have been for years, and I've been telling my mom that I wanted to go to a gyno since I was in 5th grade. She always said we could never afford it even though she had no problem paying to go to ...
A. 2 February 2009: I totally agree with Saturndesire. I would always take my patients confidentiality into consideration and if a chaperone was needed I would ask another health care professional to help out.
Good Luck x... (read in full...)
I told her I loved her but now she has found someone else!
Q. Please i need help. There is a girl who is a close friend of mine,i told her that i loved her and wanted her to be my gf,but she said no. Later she told me she had gotten a bf,i felt bad but bcos i loved her i remained friends with her. But i always ...
A. 2 February 2009: You are the problem, give her space!... (read in full...)
Anyone know what this pain might be?
Q. for about 8 months now, ive been in quite alot of pain, its constant, i am sexually active im 15 i started my periods at 13 i use tampons every period, umm ive been sexually active for about 1 year and a half, ive been with the same partner for 2 ...
A. 2 February 2009: I'm sure you practice safe sex.... But it can still go wrong! firstly you are too young to have sex! Secondly go to a Doctor as soon as possible you may be having an ectopic pregnancy which means there is a child growing in your fallopian tube, ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I love her?
Q. I have a good friend named Jenny who is in a long term relationship who I'm in love with. I'm single and we hang out a lot because her boyfriend lives the other side of the country. I've had a crush on her for a long time but just recently my ...
A. 2 February 2009: It's a difficult question, as you said you have a bias opinion. But if she has dropped those kind of hints it may be worth telling her how you feel. Also it is not fair to her not realising that you love her. Girls like having guys as best friends ... (read in full...)
Cannot orgams with boyfriend
Q. i have been dating a man for about 2-3months now and i cant seem to orgasm vagina or clitoris when we have sex. i am quite a shy person and i tend to become self concious when he is looking at me when he is trying to make me cum. i know it sounds ...
A. 2 February 2009: A bit of Dutch courage may help here, have a drink to calm the nerves, I'm not saying get out of your mind but it is clinically proven that a glass of wine or similar can help calm nerves. If you can orgasm in "different positions" try them for a ... (read in full...)
In love & he's too old!
Q. ok i no this is going to sound weird but i go to this store and there is this 27 year old guy that works there and he is sooooo nice to me we talk all the time and he is just the most coolst guy in the world. well at first when i started going there ...
A. 2 February 2009: Stop texting him, do not chase him, he is 27, I would be terrified if a teenage girl sent a messages like that to me. It is seriously dangerous for a girl of your age to chase older guys, at that age he is much more experienced than you and will not ... (read in full...)
Does my ex fiance want to get back together? hH sent me a picture mail of his penis!
Q. Does my ex fiance want to get back together? hH sent me a picture mail of his penis!...
A. 2 February 2009: Drunken text message! Take no notice, if he wanted to get back with you, the normal thing is flowers, chocolates or even a nice letter. I don't think seeing his Darth Vader impression means anything more than he was drunk!... (read in full...)
What does a "goer" mean?
Q. My friends the other day at college where on about this girl, who just started in our class, they said she was a bit of a goer, what does a goer mean ive never heard of it?...
A. 1 February 2009: Don't assume your friends are right about this girl, the fact that they are referring to her as a Goer (an easy lay) may not be true so take it on face value. ... (read in full...)
Do you guys have any ideas and suggestions of what I should do to reduce being so aroused all the time?
Q. Hi, I know you've heard a bunch of questions similar to this but it's kinda different... See here's the thing, I'm 14 and lately I've been feeling really horny and turned on. Sometimes for no reason at alll.. I have a boner when I go to sleep an...
A. 1 February 2009: It is puberty! Don't worry about it, it will settle down eventually. Unfortunately masturbating till the urges pass will end up with a very red and sore penis, and the urge will return shortly afterwards. I'm afraid it's one of the joys of growing ... (read in full...)
I'm bisexual but not sure if I could get an erection over a woman
Q. i am a bisexual man of 21 inclined towards men(i dont have much of erotic feelings for women except when i masturbate forcing myself to think of women).But i am attracted towards the female sex..i.e i love flirting with women.now i am seeing this ...
A. 1 February 2009: If you are not going to enjoy having sex with her, you are not going to relax therefore she will not enjoy herself either. Does she know you are Bi-sexual? Maybe you should talk to her about it. Also if you just enjoy the company of girls as frie... (read in full...)
How can I ask him to delete his 'myyearbook' account?
Q. ok so i have this huge problem and i dont know how to solve it. . my boyfriend has a myyearbook i hate the fact he does because there always seems to be a bunch of girls all up on him and he tells me its his friends and i believe him but i do not ...
A. 1 February 2009: By making him delete the account shows your lack of trust if girls are e-mailing you about him does that mean you have an account too? If so will you be deleting your account also? If you trust him, give him a chance!... (read in full...)
Is it stupid to have a long distance relationship after a month of time together
Q. Hey..Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 months. we knew eachother before we started dating thru my ex-girlfriend (they had a falling out before we got together so it;s not an issue). Anyway we didnt talk for a while then before i came ...
A. 1 February 2009: It's always hard on relationships being away on tour, I really think if you can hold a long distance relationship with this girl and she is happy with that, then you should give it a go. I'm sure you will both make time to see each other when you ... (read in full...)
I need some tips on how to control my anger.
Q. I need some tips on how to control my anger. I'm 15 so I don't have time to go to courses or whatever so I need things that you can do at home. Any advice appreciated....
A. 1 February 2009: You're 15 you have all the time in the world to go on courses etc... If you have serious anger issues, professional help is the way ahead, but if you're just being an angry teenager, learn to walk away and calm down. I was a very angry young man ... (read in full...)
I'm worried just in case I'm not fully developed...
Q. Ok this might be a stupid topic but it took all my courage to ask this question. I'm seeing this girl, we're great mates and I really love her with my heart, she keeps trying sexual advances on me and well I'm kinda scared in case my penis isn't b...
A. 1 February 2009: To be honest it is very difficult to say what is normal, I advise to speak to your Dad about it. If there is a problem there it is likely to be hereditary, so he will have had the same issues. If that doesn't help seek advise from your local Family ... (read in full...)
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