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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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Is this my period? Or something else?
Q. I got my period today, well at least i think it's my period. It's not your normal, red flowy kinda thing. but like when i went to take the bathroom, i looked at the toilet paper, and it was reddish pink. so i was like oo i have my period, and i put ...
A. 3 March 2009: If it's anything that is out of the normal for you, you should get checked out.
Ok you didn't say originally that you used protection and on this site we have to assume that you did not, as most people on here don't. If you used condoms properly... (read in full...)
Help ! I wanna confront my feelings for what He did to me... but I can't.
Q. I'm so pissed off but at the same time sad. Please take your time to read this, it might be long but please read it and help me... I went out with this guy - let's call him Bob and so we lasted like 2 months and a half. I later found out that in ...
A. 2 March 2009: I think you need to leave this guy in the past so he can play happy families, I some how think he'll get his comeuppance once he realise that he failed school can't get a job and has a baby to support.
As for your friend, she probably did enjoy fl... (read in full...)
Does he care about what happened to me in my past or does he just want to score?
Q. This is really weird for me to say or ask about so please bear with me. I'm 20 and have a boyfriend the same age, I've been with him for like 2 months. We never had sex and I told him I'm not ready, I'm a virgin he is not. We just make out, h...
A. 2 March 2009: Leave him, he obviously doesn't understand or respect you and all he is after is sex.... (read in full...)
Is this my period? Or something else?
Q. I got my period today, well at least i think it's my period. It's not your normal, red flowy kinda thing. but like when i went to take the bathroom, i looked at the toilet paper, and it was reddish pink. so i was like oo i have my period, and i put ...
A. 2 March 2009: Go to your doctor now!
I think I'm on a role with this subject today... Another sign of Ectopic pregnancy is dark brown blood that can appear like a period.
Ectopic pregnancy is when the foetus starts growing outside the womb (normally a fall... (read in full...)
Any tips on asking a girl out?
Q. Hey there I have my year 12 formal and there is this girl who I'd like to ask but I dnt know how to ask her can anyone give me any helpful tips like what should I say if anyone can help that be awsome Thnx ...
A. 2 March 2009: Assuming you actually have spoken to this girl before, I suggest "Hello, it's my 12 year formal on Friday, would you like to come?"
... (read in full...)
Am I pregnant even though I have a heavy period?
Q. Hey, all. Ready for another ''am I pregnant?'' question? My period was two days late, though I did get it and it seemed to last as long as a normal period did and was just as heavy. I took a pregnancy test today, just to be sure. It was negative,...
A. 2 March 2009: See your doctor and speak to him, often if you are menstruating and pregnant, it can be a sign of ectopic pregnancy.
I understand that you don't know if you are pregnant or not yet, but it's really important to see a doctor ASAP, and find out... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is mad at me for making of fun her sister!
Q. My girlfriend is mad at me for making of fun her sister (who's deaf and 8 or 9 not sure) when she was in the room as me. Her sister got picked on, her parents decide to home schooled her .The way only you communicate with her is sigh-language. My ...
A. 1 March 2009: You actually took the piss out of a disabled child!
I think you should do some voluntary work with disabled children to show your girlfriend that you are a nice guy really. And it may even teach you some respect for others.
You really ne... (read in full...)
I had a small sexual incident and I feel guilty
Q. hi, I am a virgin in my twenties. I had a small incident. while I was on a tourist package while sleeping in an auditorium my private part touched a womens vaginal area. I also made some movements but it was not an intercourse.. But ...
A. 1 March 2009: You haven't really explained the situation too well here, what happened exactly? Where you naked? why were you sleeping together in the first place, do you know this girl? It's all very vague... (read in full...)
Is this diet safe?
Q. This is the new diet I want to try... One day eat 200 cals, the next 400, the next 600, and then 200 again and repeat the 3 day cycle over and over again. Also, to do half an hour of exercise 3 times a week. Will I lose weight by this and how much...
A. 1 March 2009: No this is very dangerous, it's called anorexia, no matter how nice you make it sound. If you want to loose weight see a dietician, and don't get silly ideas from celebrity web sites. ... (read in full...)
Help me decide what to choose for studying!
Q. So im in 5th year in school (some people might not know what that is but yeah) i have to make +16 choices on 4 subjects i want to choose to study for the next 2 years before going to uni. ive chosen already ICT Business studies and i dont know what ...
A. 1 March 2009: As long as you have English, Maths and a couple of science, nothing else really matters, just choose something you are actually interested in, otherwise it will be hard to study and you'll get crap grades.... (read in full...)
Does sperm live that long and if I wiped it away does it mean it's safe?
Q. I know this is going to sound a little sick, but I generally tend to masterbate in the bathroom. And I got some semen on the toilet seat (this being the rim on which the person sits). I cleaned it up with handsoap and anti bacterial wipes. But I'm ...
A. 1 March 2009: No you can not get pregnant or AIDs from toilet seats, especially if you clean up your mess afterwards. But as Jessicarabbit says you really need to use an appropriate receptical to shoot in to. Why not have a posh wank and use a condom, that way ... (read in full...)
Horseriding for 10 years..hymen broken?
Q. hello i was just wondering about how do you know when your hymen is broken? i have been horseriding for 10yrs non-stop, will it be broken?...
A. 1 March 2009: It's quite likely to be broken, but don't worry about it, nobody cares about that kind of thing, it's just a stigma that has stuck since the dark ages.
Most guys don't even know what a hymen is, and it has nothing to do with your virginit... (read in full...)
I'm 15 years old and I hate the fact that I'm so slim. Any ideas on how to deal with this?
Q. hi i'm a 15yr old girl and i hate my body. i know people say this a lot but i do. it's not that i'm fat it's the complete opposite. i am naturally slim. my mom was. i eat and eat and eat - like comfort food eating.. but were it goes is beyond m...
A. 1 March 2009: Speak to your doctor, about any kind of weight control. But there are protein shakes, available to help gain mass, but it has to be done in a controlled manner.... (read in full...)
Over several years, I've been dating girls and guys... I feel more comfortable with girls. Am I lesbian?
Q. When I was 16, I had a 3 year sexual relationship with another girl. After 3 years she left me for another girl. I thought it was just a phase I was going through. Since then I’ve had the odd boyfriend but only for a month or two and never had sex ...
A. 1 March 2009: I don't know are you lesbian or bi-sexual or just experimenting? Only you know the answer, and it doesn't matter, go with how ever you feel.
It's 2009, live your life how ever you like, it's not about the sex of the person you want to be with but... (read in full...)
Soldier left alone behind enemy lines... Wife keeps leaving, then coming back to me.
Q. I'm a 25 y/o man in the army and currently deployed to Iraq for a year. I've been here for six months and my wife has told me she dosen't love me anymore. She said she feels that she needs space to be alone and on her own so she can be ...
A. 1 March 2009: It's very hard on our spouses, when deployed on Operations, if this is your first time apart it's going to be especially difficult and you will both have doubts, worries and insecurities.
The only thing I can suggest is that you speak to your wel... (read in full...)
My husband's boss is making increasingly WEIRD demands of his employees
Q. My husband told me this morning he is not looking forward to work at all. He said that his boss has started acting strangely over the past few weeks making all sorts of weird and excessive demands on him and the rest of the employees he wor...
A. 1 March 2009: Your husband actually went through with his demands? I'm a sergeant in the Army and if I ever did anything like that I would loose my job, and the Army doesn't have the best HR reputations.
I would tell your hubbie to seek legal aid, as his boss... (read in full...)
How to date a girl you don't know?
Q. look guys its difficult for me ive never been in a coed school always been in a boys school never talked to anygirl honestly a bit shy but i really like a girl she lives in the same colony but i dont know her address her name and i dont know which ...
A. 1 March 2009: You really have to build up some courage here, walk up to her confidently, say "hello I'm ...... I've seen you around and I think you are really, pretty, hot, gorgeous (insert your own compliment here), I'd really like to take you out some time?"
... (read in full...)
Why does she get to name the child?
Q. My fiance and i are planning on have a kid soon but im kinda worried, because she seems to think that she gets to decide on what their names are because she is carrying them and is going to push them out not me. I understand what she is going to ...
A. 1 March 2009: She did tell you early on that she had chosen the names and if you didn't like it, she'd leave you. So it's not like she has sprung this on you, you agreed to the names she wanted, by not saying you didn't like them back then.
I agree it's a l... (read in full...)
I am 15 and want to have a baby!
Q. I want to keep having sex....i was 14 when i started to and now 15 and want a baby. I really want to have one but my mom don't want me to i wanna fellow my own desires...
A. 1 March 2009: Read this post http://www.dearcupid.org/question/pregnant-alone---scared.html This poor lady is in her 40s can you immagine dealing with the same issues as a teenager?... (read in full...)
Is weed worst than cigarettes?
Q. Is weed worst than cigarettes? Which has the worst long term effect? ...
A. 1 March 2009: New studies have showed that Pot is likely to cause ongoing mental illness, where as cigarettes give you cancer and heart disease, etc...
In the long run, inhaling any chemical into your very delicate lungs is not good for you, and if you want to ... (read in full...)
Possibly pregnant and don't know how to tell my parents
Q. on my 15th birthday my boyfriend came over. since my parents were away we were going to party. we drank vodka all night. then we had sex on the dinning table and the bathroom floor. now my breast are sore and i have morning sickness. i think im ...
A. 1 March 2009: See a doctor now! Then tell your parents, stop drinking and use condoms in future!... (read in full...)
How can I determine if I'm destined to be heavy?
Q. I am so sick of being a fat, disgusting piglet... It's gotten to the point that looking in the mirror makes me crazy. I'm 29 and don't want to speculate about how much I weigh but it revolts me even look at my reflection. Looking at the big sloppy ...
A. 1 March 2009: Wii fit! Playing a computer game in your living room for half an hour a day, in the privacy of your own home. Once you realise you can do the exercises on there, venture in to the real world.
Make sure before you start exercising or dieting,... (read in full...)
I am 15 and want to have a baby!
Q. I want to keep having sex....i was 14 when i started to and now 15 and want a baby. I really want to have one but my mom don't want me to i wanna fellow my own desires...
A. 1 March 2009: Well follow your own desires when you are legally old enough!
... (read in full...)
Should I keep me mouth shut and hope for it all to fall in me favour?
Q. Me best mate is a woman. I've been in love with her since Year 9. She is getting married in six months. She frequently tells me she's getting cold feet about it all and I try to reassure her that she picked the right guy. But in my heart, I know I ...
A. 28 February 2009: It may be too soon for you to say "Don't marry him, marry me" if she decides to call off the wedding with this guy, do you honestly think getting in to another deeply committed relationship will be the foremost thought in her mind?
Hopef... (read in full...)
I'm feeling a little unsure..I'm dating a "womanizer"
Q. I have liked this guy at work for a while and we finally snogged, the thing is I am not the type of girl normally just to do that sort of thing and I think he now thinks we have this sort of work thing, it was good but I am very shy and to be honest ...
A. 28 February 2009: Well you have three choices here:
1, Enjoy it and go with the flow
2, Tell him how you feel, and make sure you don't have sex with him until he understands that he is in a relationship.
3, Stop seeing him.... (read in full...)
I think I have schizophrenia, but I don't know how to tell my family...
Q. Hey people fellow advice givers, well, I have schizophrenia, and I just don't know how to tell my parents, I mean I have not been diagnosed with it but I have researched alot about is and I am really convinced that I am,and i want to tell them, but ...
A. 28 February 2009: As satindesire says, get properly diagnosed before doing anything rash, you may not be schizophrenic but may have some other kind of mental illness.
Once you have been diagnosed there is medication and help you can get.
Your family know you ... (read in full...)
I know I should wait to have a baby, but it's soo hard!
Q. I'm gonna be 18 soon and like a lot of other girls my age I really want a baby....I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and I know it doesn't sound like a long time but I know he's the one..we live together were together everyday and I ...
A. 28 February 2009: I think you got the wrong end of the stick by the Jessicarabbits answer, she wasn't referring to your boyfriend having a job, but you, do you have a job or a university education. It's all well and good thinking you are going to be a great Mum, but ... (read in full...)
What is he REALLY saying?
Q. hello i really really need your help. wt does it mean when a guy asks you to ask him what you mean to him, and then so u ask him and he says to me your a gurl?? is that him blowing me off or is that him not being able to tell me how he rea...
A. 28 February 2009: OK I thought you were going to ask a really silly question then, but what he said makes no sense at all.
Have you asked him what he meant by that?... (read in full...)
Should we have sex or not?
Q. Im really young but my boyfriend and I want to have sex. we have fooled around naked but never did it for real. should we go for it or wait. [Moderator's note: Please add your real ages in case you registered with a wrong age which is the one that...
A. 28 February 2009: You should wait if you are 1. Under the age of consent in your State. 2. Not sure if you are ready.
When you are ready make sure he wears a condom.... (read in full...)
How can I start talking to her without looking like an idiot?
Q. Hey anyone and everyone :P Basically my situation here is that there is a girl on my bus to college in the mornings who I really can't stop thinking about but we have never said a word to each other and I'm not the most confident of people, rathe...
A. 28 February 2009: Hi, Hello, Good Morning! followed up by a question like: how are you? Wow that was difficult! Come on you have been at the same bus stop for a year? She has probably noticed you staring at her awkwardly and has been waiting for you to say Hi, for at ... (read in full...)
Is this really a size zero diet?
Q. If I do a 2-4-6 diet, for example, one day fast, the next day eat 200 cals, the next day 400 cals, the next 600 cals, and then the next fast again, and go round in this cycle would it be possible to get to size zero? With only doing small exersise, ...
A. 28 February 2009: I won't give advice on DANGEROUS diets!... (read in full...)
I have probably took my virginity away by masturbating and I'm scared!
Q. my mom thinks i'm a virgin.but i really don't know either.Because i have been masterbating and probaly unvirgined myself.what should i do?tell my mom or get checked but my mom has to come with me?if she finds out that i'm not she is going to kill ...
A. 28 February 2009: Stop being so silly! It's not like you've had sex, the virginity you are talking about is breaking your hymen and if you have ever rode a bike or horse or done the splits, your hymen is probably long gone anyway.
Masturbating is not wrong, j... (read in full...)
I am afraid to perform fellatio, can there arise any problems from this?
Q. i am afraid to kiss my boyfriend's penis or suck the fluid off him but he wants me to do that. is that safe is there no problem in sucking? is there a problem that can arise in the future from this?...
A. 28 February 2009: The only problems are the usual sexually transmitted infections, so until you have both been checked out at a sexual health clinic always make him wear a condom.... (read in full...)
Immediate changes to the body after sex
Q. OK, this question is actually a little graphic in places, sorry. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago, it was lovely, there was hardly any pain and we stayed in the missionary position for the whole time. Since then, we've slept wi...
A. 28 February 2009: It sounds perfectly normal.
Just keep it safe.... (read in full...)
Can it really work being friends with an ex?
Q. can being friends with ex's really work? or are they wanting you to stay in their lives so one day they can come back? i am so inexperienced, my bf broke up with me about 2months ago. we have been together for well over 4 years. we were best friends ...
A. 28 February 2009: What do you want from this? It's not written in stone that you have to meet for coffee on the second Sunday of every month, just do what feels right for you, if he has hurt you by breaking up with him, don't be friends with him.
If you still lo... (read in full...)
She's looking for a job in the states but I want her to come and live with me.
Q. I am having this LDR for 4 years now... My girlfriend went to the usa to study and I remained in Holland where I have my own House, and a good job. My girlfriend don`t want to move back to europe because she has a better job opportunity in the ...
A. 28 February 2009: With-out sounding horrible you have already both made your choices, if neither of you are willing to compromise on this.
I feel it is time for you both to move on.... (read in full...)
Can you suggest ways that I should confront him?
Q. I did quite a bad thing: I know my boyfriend's email password and decided to check his mail last week. I came across photograph's of a young man in his underwear with captions. Obviously I want to confront him about this, but without him finding out ...
A. 28 February 2009: Well, you have invaded his privacy and I'm guessing it isn't just because you are nosey, and you suspected something?
So be up front and honest, admit to him that you shouldn't have been looking there in the first place, but then drop the bombshel... (read in full...)
Is it just a guy thing? Does he need time apart from me?
Q. Do you think this is normal? Is it just a guy versus girl thing? He needs space when there is a problem I need to talk and get resolution. I called him 3 times, this a.m. and he said I am starting to push him away. Now I understand he needs time ...
A. 28 February 2009: If you read my answer to the question before yours, it's a long the same lines and I'm too lazy to write the same thing again.... (read in full...)
Am I too controlling?
Q. When he gets angry he needs to take time to himself. I think that things should be talked about immediatley and resolved. I just called him and he said that by me calling him I am pushing him away and that he just needs time to get over his anger. ...
A. 28 February 2009: If I get angry I walk away, and take some time to clear my head and think rationally. If I stayed and argued, I would say hurtful things and upset my wife. So yes men are all cavemen deep down but the ones that walk away are less likely to cause ... (read in full...)
When is the time to know if I'm pregnant?
Q. Hi!!! I have been very thoughtful these days, llike 2 weeks ago my boyfriend and I had unprotected sex and he came inside me, so I have been thinking, when is it time to know if I'm pregnant, and what to do if I am?...
A. 28 February 2009: Are you for real?? You are 13-15 and having sex! Let alone unprotected sex! you really need to go and see a Doctor right now get a test done, and have a full sexual health check up!
Next time you are daft enough to have sex, make sure he wears a ... (read in full...)
I know I should wait to have a baby, but it's soo hard!
Q. I'm gonna be 18 soon and like a lot of other girls my age I really want a baby....I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and I know it doesn't sound like a long time but I know he's the one..we live together were together everyday and I ...
A. 28 February 2009: We probably have got it all wrong, but if there wasn't doubts in your mind why ask for our advise, you've had some good honest answers here.
Think long and very hard before bringing a new life in to the world!... (read in full...)
What do I do when my ex boyfriend is texting me?
Q. My boyfriend of a year broke of with me in november by text message. I know right? bad news.... We didnt talk for about a month until he texted me in january wanting to see our dog that we had together. Trying not to be a bitch i went and took the ...
A. 28 February 2009: He got angry because you were seeing other people, which means his attempts at a rebound shag didn't work.
He is now trying it on with you as you were the last girl he slept with.
It's all part of the breaking up process if you hadn't met someo... (read in full...)
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