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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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Confused in Iraq
Q. So, Im a US soldier currently deployed to Iraq for the third time. I met my wife in 2006, shortly after returning from my first deployment. We had a very strong, and wonderful relationship. Right before I left in February of 07 for a second ...
A. 11 March 2009: Good for you, I'm pleased we have amused you if nothing else! I really hope you can get what you both want out of this. Sorry for hijacking your post, but there are so many people giving advise to soldiers who really don't know how the Army work, ... (read in full...)
Confused in Iraq
Q. So, Im a US soldier currently deployed to Iraq for the third time. I met my wife in 2006, shortly after returning from my first deployment. We had a very strong, and wonderful relationship. Right before I left in February of 07 for a second ...
A. 10 March 2009: Well as jessica04 says in the US Army you have to finish your contract, that would be awful for me as I'm on a 22 year contract meaning I wouldn't be able to leave till I was 40!
And you are right they do own you, and for good reason, could yo... (read in full...)
Confused in Iraq
Q. So, Im a US soldier currently deployed to Iraq for the third time. I met my wife in 2006, shortly after returning from my first deployment. We had a very strong, and wonderful relationship. Right before I left in February of 07 for a second ...
A. 10 March 2009: Just to answer Natasia it really isn't as simple as just telling your Sergeant Major (He's the scary one that shouts a lot), "I don't want to play soldiers any more, can I go home now please!" To leave the British Army you have to give 12 months ... (read in full...)
I found spot of blood..did I rip my hymen?
Q. i fingered myself and i saw a tad of blood on my fingers my period is due soon but i dont know weather i have ripped my mymen or its just period blood please answer if you have any ideas. if i have it has fot its ups and downs but......
A. 9 March 2009: You're a teenage girl, so far you have not been in to boys and sex, but you will be and your mum knows this. She was a teenage girl and I bet she masturbated! (I know that's not something you want to hear)
Tell her being open and honest with you... (read in full...)
Confused in Iraq
Q. So, Im a US soldier currently deployed to Iraq for the third time. I met my wife in 2006, shortly after returning from my first deployment. We had a very strong, and wonderful relationship. Right before I left in February of 07 for a second ...
A. 9 March 2009: You are in a tough situation here. Talk to your Chain of command, welfare officer and padre and if all else fails go to your field mental health team (Trust me they can pull all kinds of strings!) There could be a way out of this deployment yet.
... (read in full...)
Are all guys like this? "geez, its just a game!"
Q. Are all men like my boyfriend? Impatient?!? Or is it a guy thing where they think they are always right, no matter what?!? Ok, so my boyfriend will never, I mean never admit that he's wrong! If I'm wrong, I'll admit it. But if he's wrong, he'l...
A. 9 March 2009: No not all guys are like this! But in the serious world of VIDEO GAMES I can understand his anguish! ha ha
Maybe one day he'll grow up.... (read in full...)
I found spot of blood..did I rip my hymen?
Q. i fingered myself and i saw a tad of blood on my fingers my period is due soon but i dont know weather i have ripped my mymen or its just period blood please answer if you have any ideas. if i have it has fot its ups and downs but......
A. 9 March 2009: As Saturnsdesire says!... (read in full...)
How do we deal with racial insults?
Q. I'm 23, my girlfriend's 25 and from Germany originally, and we've been together for 2 years since we met at university together. We live together, and are doing well in our respective employment. Our relationship is great, however, ...
A. 9 March 2009: Punch the little scrote in the FACE!(well best not, but I hate narrow minded idiots) There is no way of dealing with racism at this level, except to ignore them, or take direct action (although this is the best idea, it could lead to your arrest and ... (read in full...)
A nice man is being nice to me.... WHY???
Q. hi everyone. I am feeling sort of confused right now. if a guy (elder to you by 10yrs),takes a lot of interest in your life and tells you to interact more with people,and not confine your life to just home and college. he specifically tel...
A. 9 March 2009: WOW MAYBE HE'S JUST BEING NICE!
There are nice people out there you know (me excluded!) He doesn't have to have a reason to be nice, maybe he saw you are an introvert and just gave you some good advise.
STOP OVER ANALYSING AND TAKE HEED OF HIS... (read in full...)
Home remedies for removing moles
Q. Hello :) Well im going to a party in a few weeks, and I have a gorgeous backless red dress. Only problem is im reeeealy self conscious about this mole I have on my back. I know im being stupid, its tiny! And its slightly risen... so I was wonderin...
A. 9 March 2009: See your GP, they can remove it or give you options. For a simple no scarring option just get a GOOD friend to use some cover up on it!... (read in full...)
Should I be worried? She's hopefully not pregnant...
Q. Me and my girlfriend where having intercourse and i finished in a condom and then she wanted to keep going so just to be on the safe side i put another condom on with spermicidal lubricant and it came off when i pulled out but with this condom i ...
A. 9 March 2009: Yeah I'd be tempted to give her the morning after pill, make sure she reads the instructions as there are 2 pills to take separately.
You would probably be fine to leave it but to be 100% I'd suggest taking the Emergency contraception.... (read in full...)
Pregnant without sex by touching organs?
Q. hii i'm interest if it posible if a virgin can get pregnant without having sex, only touching sperm in her sexual organs?...
A. 9 March 2009: If you mean his PENIS (That's normally the hard sticky out bit between his legs) touched your VAGINA (the thing between your legs) and he came (the white stuff that comes out of the end of his penis) and that touches or goes inside your vagina then ... (read in full...)
I took 2 morning after pills at the same time!
Q. i bought some morning afterpills after having unprotected sex last night with my husband. i took both pills immediately without reading the instructions, which after i read i saw i had to take one then the other one after 12 hrs from the first one. ...
A. 9 March 2009: GO TO HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW!!!
I have looked up this drug in my big book of drugs (BNF)and from what I can tell is it might not be 100% so you need to see a doctor NOW! Go to and Emergency Department and tell them what you have done and I mean as ... (read in full...)
I've decided to swallow my boyfriend's semen, but I'm still scared.
Q. i've decided to swallow my bfs semen and i'm still nervous about it. i'm afraid i'll gag from the taste. people said it's better to let it shoot down your throat but i'm horrible at deep throating. i was wondering, does the semen shoot out fast into ...
A. 9 March 2009: Ok more importantly, has your boyfriend had an STD screen? If not get that done first because I'm sure you use condoms when you have sex, anything he could give you virginally you can get in your mouth! So safe blow jobs until you KNOW for certain ... (read in full...)
My fiancee wants an abortion, but the thought of it makes me sick. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone. My fiancee was scared to death of becoming pregnant and now she is. We use contraception but nothing is 100% as you all know. She has always been adamant that she will get an abortion regardless of whether I want it or not and she says ...
A. 9 March 2009: I am pro-choice and this is something only you two can sort out but at the end of the day, it's her carrying the foetus, she will have to give birth, she will do all the mothering stuff, she will have to take maternity leave, she will have to loose ... (read in full...)
Husband says he never masturbates! Lying?
Q. Hi i have been with my husband for 25 years a while ago he was having a bath i went into the bathroom he did nt hear me enter and he jumped up and i saw that he had a hard on he tried to cover it but i know what i saw. Aked him if he was masturba...
A. 9 March 2009: It's hard to tell if he is lying although I suspect he is. Because you have an active sex life it is unlikely he'd have wet dreams.
If you have walked in on him in the bath with an erection, likely hood is he was masturbating, but this is an em... (read in full...)
Students falling in love with teachers whats your opinion?
Q. Students look up to teachers because they're smart. They are mature. They're possibly good looking. They've had interesting lives. All the things all people look for in a character. But students can't do anything about it So their own passion...
A. 9 March 2009: As you referred directly to my my advise I feel I have the right to reply why I said he was acting inappropriately.
All teachers are in a position of trust, they have had years of training and are subject matter experts. As teachers are dealing ... (read in full...)
Should I contact the ex and wish him good luck?
Q. hello. My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 2months ago due to arguements and he said that special something isnt there anymore. he said he would always love me. he begged to be my friend and i told him i have reservations i.e still have feeli...
A. 9 March 2009: No it is not a good idea yet! Give him time for "Closure" too!... (read in full...)
What are the signs to falling in love?
Q. Hello! I need to know how I can tell if I am falling in love. What are the signs? ...
A. 9 March 2009: Nausea, vomiting, pyrexic episodes, a textured rash, hair loss, dysponea! Ha ha ha!
Oh sweetheart just date guys you like one day you will find one and you will know!... (read in full...)
Are all females overly critical of their appearance?
Q. Hi there...well I'm just after some opinions here. Do all females really judge themselves badly on their own appearance? I've had a couple of girlfriends in the past, both in their early 20's, who both seemed to be convinced that...
A. 9 March 2009: Just to back up my answer read about this http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-a-candidate-for-becoming-a-lesbian.html... (read in full...)
If he has erection trouble only with you, does it mean he doesn't like you?
Q. i've dated this guy for two months, and from the beginning he had trouble either getting an erection or maintaining. and he's in his 20s! now, the only time i noticed he didn't have a problem getting hard or ejaculating was when i just gave him...
A. 9 March 2009: I think you are worrying about this in the wrong way, I think that this is stress related because he actually likes you! Some guys can have this problem and it's usually psychological, get him to speak to his doctor about it and take it from there.... (read in full...)
Wrong for 15 year old to date 19 year old?
Q. I am a fifteen year old girl, and I am currently interersted in a 19 year old man. We have known eachother for about a year now and have become extremely close in this period of time. Is it wrong for a younger girl and an older guy to date? ...
A. 9 March 2009: It's fine to date him, but and I STRESS this, he will want to have sex and he has to understand that that is ILLEGAL until you are old enough and if he does have sex with you he can get arrested for rape of a minor.
But if you are just going to... (read in full...)
Can stress majorly affect your heart?
Q. I am 17 years old, and have struggled with really bad anxiety/depression off and on, since the age of 12. Panic attacks, and anxiety disorders run in my family... In fact, all of my aunts, my mom, and my uncle are on anti-depressants to cope with ...
A. 9 March 2009: Stress, being over weight, family history, life style are all contributing factors to heart disease.
You need to continue doing exercise and eat healthily, by doing this you will reduce your weight, release endorphins (Happy Chemicals) which wi... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's beng beaten by stepfather
Q. Hello I'm seeking advice I am 17 and my girlfriend is 15 we live about1,000 miles apart so we have a long distance relationship right now I'm moving down in roughly 6months. We are alot alike and I love her zoo much but lastnight she told me her ...
A. 9 March 2009: Anonymous tip off to the police. I've used this post before but I think it's important; Every ten days in England and Wales one child is killed at the hands of their parent. In half (52 per cent) of all cases of children killed at the hands of ... (read in full...)
Child abuse? Was it wrong for me to say something?
Q. I have this friend I have not seen in years and we had a get together at his girlfriends house. His girlfriend is divorced with a son and my old friend lets call him Sam is divorced and has a son. But to get to my question, I don't like the way he ...
A. 9 March 2009: Report it to some kind of child protection services, if he has done this in front of you then it will be a common thing so you can maintain your anonymity. In the UK every ten days in England and Wales one child is killed at the hands of their ... (read in full...)
How to seduce a lady & have sex
Q. Wants 2 no how 2 completly seduce a lady and hv sex wit her. Cos i hv been wit 4 girls bt non respond properly.d 1st didnt allow me 2 touch her panties but we ar kissing. D 2nd after much strugle i remove her panties but refuse me 2 penetrate. 3rd ...
A. 9 March 2009: You are a very scary person! DO NOT force this issue with women, they are responding properly to your behaviour! Be a gentleman treat them nicely and take things slowly, just because you are kissing a girl doesn't mean she wants you to start ... (read in full...)
STD but never have sex?
Q. I am 16, never had sex or anything like that, but all of a sudden there are these red dots on the tip of my penis and it burns when i pee. If i didn't know any better I'd say it was an STI but like in said, i've never had any sexual activity....
A. 9 March 2009: Sorry I forgot to add GO SEE A DOCTOR!... (read in full...)
STD but never have sex?
Q. I am 16, never had sex or anything like that, but all of a sudden there are these red dots on the tip of my penis and it burns when i pee. If i didn't know any better I'd say it was an STI but like in said, i've never had any sexual activity....
A. 9 March 2009: It could be one of many things including an STI that you have picked up. Unfortunately a lot of STI as passed by contact, so if some one has touched themselves and not washed their hands anything they touch then becomes a Fomite (a towel, doorknob, ... (read in full...)
G/f too embarrassed to tell me anything
Q. im 14 and my girlfriend is really in experienced and shy, how do i know when she is ready for more than making out if she wont tell me because she is too "embarassed"...
A. 8 March 2009: When she is not as embarrassed any more and feels happy with herself and your relationship is when she'll be ready. Give her a chance she's only 14! You should consider yourself ucky that she is making out with you.... (read in full...)
Making myself as sexy as possible on webcam
Q. my boyfriend is going away to university and i won't be able to see him face to face for a while, we are going to use webcam to keep in touch, my question is how can i make myself look as sexy as possible on webcam... it may sound stupid but what ...
A. 8 March 2009: Web cam doesn't make you sexy, I'm sure the things are designed to make you look as bad as possible! Why don't you take some TASTEFUL pictures while you are with him that he can keep, rather than doing a American Pie web broadcast to everyone.... (read in full...)
How do men want to hear our concerns/needs/questions?
Q. Tell me, why is it that when we women think we are being as direct as can be with our needs (not just sexual) don't seem to get it? Is there a certain way we should be phrasing our needs or does a man understand what we are saying but does not know ...
A. 8 March 2009: I usually agree with Otherstarfish, but on this occasion I would say don't treat him like you would a woman, talk to him slowly and clearly, in language he will understand and make sure it's when he is not distracted (this is the difficult bit, we ... (read in full...)
How do I stay on a diet at Easter?
Q. i want to start a new diet but how do i stay on this diet at easter? wat should I do coz i usually eat like ova 5 chocolate eggs in that one day, no joke. how do i stop this from happening? thankyouxx...
A. 8 March 2009: Self control! ... (read in full...)
Am I a candidate for becoming a lesbian?
Q. Sometimes I spend 10 or 15 minutes standing naked before my full length door mirror admiring my beautiful body. I have shapely tits with perky nipples, a sexy ass, a flat stomach, shaplely legs with pretty little feet. It seems to me that I have a ...
A. 8 March 2009: Are you for real?
No you are not a candidate to be a lesbian unless you spend that long admiring girls as well, are a candidate for most vein person I have ever had the displeasure to reply to!
I think you probably won't get the answers you ... (read in full...)
Why does 1st time sex hurt the girl so much?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together over a year, and we are now both 16. We have talked about sex and decided to wait until we were both of age, and also decided to use a condom. However, the other day her best friend had sex for the first time ...
A. 8 March 2009: Lots of foreplay and taking it slowly is the key to making it less painful. It hurts because you are stretching muscles and tearing skin as well as bruising areas that haven't been bruised before.... (read in full...)
Are all females overly critical of their appearance?
Q. Hi there...well I'm just after some opinions here. Do all females really judge themselves badly on their own appearance? I've had a couple of girlfriends in the past, both in their early 20's, who both seemed to be convinced that...
A. 8 March 2009: No not all, some are really up themselves, but a lot of girls have some kind of insecurity, but I'm sure you have things you don't like about yourself too?... (read in full...)
Did I "miss the boat"?
Q. Hey, I once met a guy and he asked for my digits, I gave them to him and he promised to call. He called and askd to see me, I agreed but I didn't go because I wasn't really interestd in him. He hasn't called me since then and I recently saw him. ...
A. 8 March 2009: Men don't play hard to get like that, they'd still give you some kind of hint that he liked you.... (read in full...)
How can I find out if my internet love is married?
Q. How can I find out if my internet love is married?Is there any place I can check? Or any kind of agency that someone knows of to check?...
A. 8 March 2009: Try this PDF it may be helpful, http://e-backgroundcheck-secure.com/ebooks/marriageanddivorcerecords1a1-s.pdf... (read in full...)
I'm afraid g/f might be pregnant but don't want to scare her
Q. I'm worried that my girlfriend of 13 months could be pregnant. We haven't actually had sex but she is two weeks late for her period and we have done everything apart from sex. We are very careful and try and keep any come away from her, but I am ...
A. 8 March 2009: Jessica has hit the nail on the head again. Heed her advice!... (read in full...)
Fiance will not get a job!
Q. Hi all, I have been with my fiancé for nearly 2 years now. Recently he was made redundant and to make ends meet we are now living with his parents. I am still in work and just got promoted. My problem is this, my fiancé, let’s say his name is...
A. 8 March 2009: Do you really want to marry him and marry into that family?
I think he has shown his true colours.... Not ideal husband material.... (read in full...)
I lied to him about my age, now he's finding it difficult to trust me. How can I gain his trust back?
Q. Hi, I wrote earlier about lying to my fiance about my age. Well the thing is I thought we'd past that, but apparently, it keeps coming up, now and then if I do anything, he suddenly remembers that I lied before. How do I keep him from second ...
A. 8 March 2009: Trust is a major issue of all relationships, you have broken that trust, the only person who can sort this is him, the only thing you can do is continue to be honest and hope he forgives you.
Did you have a good reason to lie?... (read in full...)
Is that the only reason they like me?
Q. I am thirteen years old meaning I am still in school. I have had boyfriends in the past and all that, but haven't done anything drastic with them. I am 34C, which is bigger than most girls in my year. But the thing is, when I talk to boys they ...
A. 8 March 2009: Yes they are teenage boys, and a girl with larger breast than the rest of the class is a novelty to them.
Don't give up all hope there are nice guys out there too.... (read in full...)
Are condoms enough?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a while and we have decided we are ready to sleep together, he knows that I am not on the pill (I don't want to) and he says a condom will be fine, which I sure it will be but I am a little concerened....
A. 8 March 2009: In reply to Olivia(Y) the reason you shouldn't use soap is that the chemicals in soap dissolve condoms. Anything that contains detergent or oil will damage the condom, so things like massage oil and baby oil also should be avoided.
If you use lube... (read in full...)
Girlfriend too moody recently...
Q. Dear all, My girlfriend and I have been going out for 9 months. We're 2 school years apart but I'm 20 and she is 17, but the age difference never shows and I'm very happy in the relationship. More recently though, she has been going into moods more ...
A. 8 March 2009: Going from seeing each other all the time to a long distance relationship can have a very negative affect on people.
Also has she recently gone on the pill or changed her pill? Hormones can be another cause of mood swings.
Maybe it's ti... (read in full...)
Are condoms enough?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a while and we have decided we are ready to sleep together, he knows that I am not on the pill (I don't want to) and he says a condom will be fine, which I sure it will be but I am a little concerened....
A. 8 March 2009: Yes condoms are 95% effective alone, you could choose to use a spermicide also to increase the effectiveness to around 98%.
Just make sure you use the condom properly.... (read in full...)
Did I "miss the boat"?
Q. Hey, I once met a guy and he asked for my digits, I gave them to him and he promised to call. He called and askd to see me, I agreed but I didn't go because I wasn't really interestd in him. He hasn't called me since then and I recently saw him. ...
A. 8 March 2009: Yes it's too late! You shouldn't have agreed to go out with him, then stand him up.... (read in full...)
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