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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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Got drunk, unprotected sex, now afraid of pregnancy!
Q. Umm ok... on the seventh of this month I got drunk and made a mistake with a guy. I had sex with him and we didn't use protection. Well... I was supposed to start my period like the next day after that or so but I didn't. I sort of have an irregular ...
A. 24 February 2009: Good luck! I really hope everything works out for you, but I don't think you are going to get the advise you want here.... (read in full...)
Got drunk, unprotected sex, now afraid of pregnancy!
Q. Umm ok... on the seventh of this month I got drunk and made a mistake with a guy. I had sex with him and we didn't use protection. Well... I was supposed to start my period like the next day after that or so but I didn't. I sort of have an irregular ...
A. 23 February 2009: Ok I was a little harsh.
Have you spoken to him yet/ done a pregnancy test?... (read in full...)
An eating disorder or is it all in my mind?
Q. hiyyahhh i think i might have an eating dissorder because i dont like to eat and feel sick when i do and want to make myself sick i've told my mam and she said its in my head and the doctors carnt find nothing wrong. whats wrong with me? is it in my...
A. 23 February 2009: Trust me doctors don't judge their patients, that's why they choose that profession.
Now stop making excuses and tell him everything or you will become very very ill! ... (read in full...)
Got drunk, unprotected sex, now afraid of pregnancy!
Q. Umm ok... on the seventh of this month I got drunk and made a mistake with a guy. I had sex with him and we didn't use protection. Well... I was supposed to start my period like the next day after that or so but I didn't. I sort of have an irregular ...
A. 22 February 2009: Suicidal self destructive, pretty much the same thing, and you think you are going to be a fit mother! I disagree with your opinion on termination in this case you are NOT mentally stable or mature enough to bring a child into this world.
I REA... (read in full...)
An eating disorder or is it all in my mind?
Q. hiyyahhh i think i might have an eating dissorder because i dont like to eat and feel sick when i do and want to make myself sick i've told my mam and she said its in my head and the doctors carnt find nothing wrong. whats wrong with me? is it in my...
A. 22 February 2009: Telling the doctor some of it is not enough! Write everything you are feeling down and take the note to your doctor with you. Then he can actually read exactly what you are feeling.
Telling a doctor half a story means he'll only do half a diagnosi... (read in full...)
Got drunk, unprotected sex, now afraid of pregnancy!
Q. Umm ok... on the seventh of this month I got drunk and made a mistake with a guy. I had sex with him and we didn't use protection. Well... I was supposed to start my period like the next day after that or so but I didn't. I sort of have an irregular ...
A. 21 February 2009: Firstly you are an IDIOT!
Secondly you have to see your therapist because you are a danger to yourself, which you deny! Hold on a minute, you got drunk and had unprotected sex, and maybe pregnant. Surely that makes you a danger to yourself... (read in full...)
He got a private nude dance!
Q. I feel exactly the same and am going through the same shitty feelings as you. It was on my now husbands!?!?!? stag night. im quite an open minded girl especially when it comes to sex. thing is he said to me prior to the stag and hen parties that he ...
A. 20 February 2009: Unfortunately as the groom on your stag night you don't get much choice where you go and what you do. It's all down to your so called friends to either give you a great night out or publicly humiliate you.
Have you asked him if it was his idea... (read in full...)
Should his penis be darker than the rest of his skin?
Q. My boyfriend's penis is a darker shade than his skin. He has no medical problems etc and is perfectly healthy. Is this normal or should i be concerned?...
A. 20 February 2009: Mine is darker too, so I hope it's normal now you have mentioned it.... (read in full...)
My cousin is really hot & I want to have sex with her!
Q. i have this cousin we r both 16 and i have only known her for about 9 months but i find her extremely hot and i want to have sex wit her really bad because she always shows me her thongs and bras and i touch her and she dosent care also she says she ...
A. 20 February 2009: STOP it right now! What is it with you American teenagers wanting sex with your cousins? How do you think your parents would feel if they ever found out, what if she got pregnant?
It's understandable to be attracted to a relative at your age but ... (read in full...)
If two gay guys have sex, did both of them lose their virginity?
Q. if two gays have anal sex do both of them lose there virginity? like if one of them is on the recieving end and the other on the giving is it only one of them that loses it or both?...
A. 20 February 2009: I like martinis answer. you guys really do need to get some serious sex education!
... (read in full...)
Do I have an infection or are they just heat spots?
Q. Any answers are appreciated, thank you. On the outside of my vagina, I have a small bump - like a heat spot I think. I have a few on the creases of my legs. They are very itchy. Is this a vaginal infection? I looked up vaginal warts, and it de...
A. 20 February 2009: It sounds like shaving rash, but you cant rule out pubic lice (Crabs), although you can normally see the crab itself, or it could be impetigo.
Best option is to go and get checked out, if you are worried about STIs go and get a full Sexual h... (read in full...)
What do guys like as presents?
Q. its my bf bday soon and i wnt to get ideas on what guys like what should i get him basically? i do have ideas but i wnt to get a guys point of view too thnku:)...
A. 20 February 2009: Does he own a Xbox, Wii, PS3 or anything similar? if so a game is always good. What about tickets to see his favourite band or team. A red letter adventure, anything that involves helicopters or guns, even better a combination of both. Or if you are ... (read in full...)
Are guys vocal when they get pleasure?
Q. me and my boyfriend are both 14 nearly 15. last night i gave him oral sex and after about 6-7 minutes i gave up and started wanking him just licking up his penis occasionally. he ejaculated a small amount but im worried what he likes, as he just had ...
A. 20 February 2009: Just ask him, he's open enough to let you give him a blowjob, I really don't think he's that scared of sexual things!... (read in full...)
Any advice about weight loss? Rowing machines?
Q. I'm trying to lose weight, and I eat less, and exercise. I got a rowing machine, and I go on it everyday. But I don't know, how effective is that. Did any of you have experience with rowing machine? I don't lose weight at all. I wonder, if anybody ...
A. 20 February 2009: Varied cardio-vascular exercise is very good, you need at least 30-40 minutes a day sweating and slightly out of breath. If you are not sweaty and out of breath then you are not working hard enough.
Also speak to your doctor about diet and exer... (read in full...)
I've been in relationships for 4 years and just want to be single!
Q. I don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for two years now, however, recently I met another great guy. I really like him and although I know I should stay with my boyfriend because he has helped me so much in the past and has a good ...
A. 20 February 2009: Maybe it would actually be nicer if you did split up with your boyfriend and tell him you want a bit of time as a single girl. He won't like it but it will hurt him less than when he finds out that you are cheating on him.
If after a break he... (read in full...)
I'm wearing the ring, but do I say yes??
Q. Comments please. I have been with my partner,living together for nearly 6 years.2 years ago i found him on an internet dating site,i spoke to a few of the ladies concerned he eventually gave up the ghost, as we say in the UK,apologised and we moved ...
A. 20 February 2009: Had he met any of the ladies on the dating site or was he just using it as a way of chatting to girls. I understand you have trust issues with him and I think you should talk to him about it, after all if you are going to get married you really need ... (read in full...)
I cheated but I want to make it work again
Q. My name is Jamie and i'm 18 years old. I know this is a little long, but please read what i have to say and help me. If you have been in my, Alex or Joe's situation before you're thoughts would be very welcome. I cheated on my boyfriend of 2 y...
A. 20 February 2009: This all comes down to Alex now, and he has to be a strong and understanding guy to forgive and forget.
Try telling Alex the whole story, or even what you have posted here so he can see it was a mistake.... (read in full...)
I cheated and now she wont see me on spring break
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend (we're long distance) with her best friend by having sex with her. I cant believe I did something so stupid. Anyway I came clean with her (my gf). It was the worse hearing her cry. She even threw me of her house but the ...
A. 20 February 2009: Maybe she has realised what a huge mistake you made and how sorry you are and is willing to forgive you.
Or if she is as evil as me, she's just tricking you into walking through a minefield! As you rightly deserve!
Good luck... (read in full...)
Are guys vocal when they get pleasure?
Q. me and my boyfriend are both 14 nearly 15. last night i gave him oral sex and after about 6-7 minutes i gave up and started wanking him just licking up his penis occasionally. he ejaculated a small amount but im worried what he likes, as he just had ...
A. 20 February 2009: Some are some aren't.
More importantly you are too young for this kind of thing and I hope you used a condom!
... (read in full...)
Lost in a triangle
Q. Ok this is a very weird, confusing and difficult situation so bare with me. I've never been in love before. I(23) met a girl(24) this summer in July when she walked into my job. She came in with her "boyfriend"(20) and all three of us were talking. ...
A. 20 February 2009: She should leave him, not just because she is cheating on him but because you describe him as being violent. The problem here is women in violent relationships find it very hard to leave their partners. Also if thier parents pushed them in to ... (read in full...)
Everytime I see him I feel emotional about not being able to have him
Q. this might sound really sad. but i dont know if this is 'love' or not. i am 15 and have never went near a boy - not that i dont want to i just havnt i am about the only person i know that hasnt kissed or had a boyfriend. anyways i go to this sport ...
A. 20 February 2009: As you have said yourself this is not love it is a crush and perfectly normal for a girl of your age. Unfortunately the only thing that will help is time.
Enjoy the feeling but don't get too obsessed about this guy, I'm sure soon enough you will... (read in full...)
Very light period, could I be pregnant?
Q. hey me and my boyfriend had sex but i think the condom split but i came on my period the next day so i thought i couldnt be pregnant. Im ment to be on my period now but its only very light or nothing at all. Iv took two pregnancy tests lately a...
A. 20 February 2009: I don't think you are pregnant but as eyeswideopen says do another test and in future consider OCP as well as condoms.... (read in full...)
Do I tell this guy I really like him?
Q. I'll try to keep this one short guys, would be great to get some impartial advice :) My friend introduced me to a mate of his who was in town for a party about a year ago. Me and this guy really hit it off and became really good friends but were ...
A. 20 February 2009: I think this guy really likes you but is scared of the long distance thing, and with your attitude of "not wanting to chase" he is also confused by the situation.
I think maybe you should write him a letter (old fashioned I know but is so much mor... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to still be close and have a sexual relationship?
Q. I split with a girl i was seeing 2mths ago, and i contacted her a week after we split and we talk daily. we have even met up and i spent the night at hers, no sex but we were close and holding each other. I`m very attracted to her and enjoy her comp...
A. 20 February 2009: You're over 30 years old! Who cares what your family think. If you love this woman then have a relationship with her it's obvious you both want to.... (read in full...)
An eating disorder or is it all in my mind?
Q. hiyyahhh i think i might have an eating dissorder because i dont like to eat and feel sick when i do and want to make myself sick i've told my mam and she said its in my head and the doctors carnt find nothing wrong. whats wrong with me? is it in my...
A. 20 February 2009: You've actually told the doctor all about this?... (read in full...)
I just want to end our friendship!
Q. My best friend is a guy. We met almost two years ago. When we met, we started out dating each other - going out, seeing each other, having sex, etc. After about a month, he never mentioned anything about a relationship so I asked him how he felt ...
A. 20 February 2009: This is a very long post and to be honest I've not read most of it. By the sounds of it he's been using you for sex and is not interested in anyone but himself. Cut contact with him and move on.... (read in full...)
What do girls do when they like a guy? How do they act?
Q. How do you know the difference between when a girl is being friendly and she actualy likes you. So far no girls have been able to answer this question. Ladies what do you do when you actualy like a guy not just being nice....
A. 20 February 2009: Does she touch you when she talks to you, do her pupils dilate when she looks at you, does she blush when she see you? Does she touch her face or hair when talking to you, or copy your movements?
Yes? She likes you as more than a friend so as... (read in full...)
He came in me during anal sex, can it do harm?
Q. Hi. My boyfriend and I regularly practice anal sex. Recently, he came inside me during anal. I don't know why I'm worried but it can't do any harm, can it?...
A. 20 February 2009: Only the usual risks that occurs during unprotected sex: AIDS, Gonorrhoea, syphilis, HPV(worts), Hepatitis, to list a few. At least your not too likely to get pregnant.
The greater risk is to him, Semen doesn't really do any damage, but human fa... (read in full...)
Darling or dates
Q. hi been out with someone had a break as said was too busy as started new job working shifts etc. Seen him when out he was very friendly said he still had my number etc and would be in touch. I never thought he would answer me so i text him. E...
A. 20 February 2009: He is not interested! You have posted this same question on and off for about 2 months and e-mailed the aunts as well. I think it is time you let this guy get on with his career and you should move on.... (read in full...)
What is his game plan??
Q. Help. I met a guy over the internet who lives in NSW. I live in Perth. We seemed to get along really well. He then started sending me pics of his lower private parts and wanted to know what I was wearing etc and wanted intimate pics of me. At first ...
A. 20 February 2009: I think he may have got himself a girlfriend and is only calling/texting you when she is not around.... (read in full...)
I want to give all my love to my wife but she doesn't seem to want it!
Q. I am a 57 year old husband, married for the last 32 years. For the last couple of years my wife has been totally unloving (could be the menopause?) and I am tempted to seek closeness elsewhere. I love my wife dearly and fancy her to bits, she's ...
A. 20 February 2009: You seem to be in a very tough spot here. Firstly have you spoken to your wife about these issues? After 32 years of marriage you should be able to talk to her about it.
And secondly think how you would feel if your wife had an affair don't do... (read in full...)
What do girls do when they like a guy? How do they act?
Q. How do you know the difference between when a girl is being friendly and she actualy likes you. So far no girls have been able to answer this question. Ladies what do you do when you actualy like a guy not just being nice....
A. 20 February 2009: Your really in your 30's? The reason it has to do with your age is the question is written as though a 13-15 year old has posted it.
Now how in depth do you want this answer? ... (read in full...)
I don't want a girlfriend, but I want to have sex with a girl
Q. I am going to be 17 this October, and I have never had sex, I know some may say that its no problem, but it is for me, only I do not want a girlfriend, I don't need that bug, I just want to have sex with a girl, any idea on how to get it, with out ...
A. 20 February 2009: Prostitution is legal in Holland! Or you could actually have respect for your self and any girl you just want to have sex with.... (read in full...)
Friends and nothing more--how do I say that?
Q. I am in love with the man of my dreams. We have been together for quite a bit of time, however towards the end of last year, around oct-nov time, I started develpoing feelings for another guy. This other guy, is just a friend but I started getting ...
A. 20 February 2009: I think you may have to be honest about it and tell him you have a boyfriend. Secret relationships are NEVER a good idea! ... (read in full...)
Does this mean its over?
Q. So I am attached to this girl that i met 3 months ago...we have been perfect together for a month now..I used to take her out on her lunch breaks and we used to have alot of fun but no sex yet, she also tells me she feels content with me but the ...
A. 19 February 2009: Maybe she thinks you are just after sex. The fact that you say you haven't had sex with her in your first 3 lines. kind of shows what you are thinking about in this relationship.
Maybe you need to make sure she knows how you feel and that you... (read in full...)
Darling or dates
Q. hi been out with someone had a break as said was too busy as started new job working shifts etc. Seen him when out he was very friendly said he still had my number etc and would be in touch. I never thought he would answer me so i text him. E...
A. 19 February 2009: Still stalking him then suzi?... (read in full...)
I think my parents are being very unreasonable. Can anyone offer any advice?
Q. Hi. I proposed to my fiancee a couple of years ago. We are fantastic together and I couldn't have wished for a better lady. We planned the wedding and started paying it. So far, we have managed to pay half the costs. Then, late last year, I lost my ...
A. 19 February 2009: As you have said there is a credit crunch at the moment, you could probably save a fortune by eloping, or just inviting less guests. Weddings are so expensive considering you are paying for your distant friends and relatives to get drunk and mo... (read in full...)
I need some "first time" advice.... quick!
Q. For the past year my best friend and I have been getting closer. We have decided to have sex for the first time this Friday, so in two days. Is there any advice somebody can give on what to do and what not do? This is my first time but not hers. So ...
A. 18 February 2009: DON'T DO IT!!!!
And if you really can't control your teenage urges USE a CONDOM and read the instructions and practice with a few first!... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating, but I'm not sure!
Q. Im having trouble in a relationship and Idk if he's cheating or if I should leave him,his 24 and I 18and he also has a child.we only see each other 3 times a month, he doesn't have a cell phone so I can't get into contact with him, I can only speak ...
A. 18 February 2009: Is he actually your boyfriend? Or is he just using you for sex. What is the mother of his child up to? This situation doesn't sound right to me.
... (read in full...)
I'm getting married, but I'm not too excited about taking his last name!
Q. I'm getting married this summer and I'm very excited. The only thing I'm really fretting about is the last name change! I'm really attached to my own last name. I asked my fiance if he'd want to swap his last name for mine, but he's not into that. ...
A. 18 February 2009: My wife uses my name for all the day to day stuff but professionally she uses her maiden name. It makes a lot of sense. ... (read in full...)
What can we do to keep it fun except for sex?
Q. ok well im 16 and well i have been with this boy for like 2 months now and well you no what its like when get to the age of 16 .. well i dont want to rush in to sex and i have talked to my boyfriend about it and hes cool about it but its just i dont ...
A. 16 February 2009: Go paintballing, go-karting, etc take up a hobby you'd both enjoy. ... (read in full...)
'Oil up for sex'?
Q. So my friend was talking about oiling up for sex with her boyfriend and I'm just curious what it actually means! Is it just using lube or literally covering yoruself in something?...
A. 16 February 2009: I have heard of people "Oiling" themselves up, but I would advise avoiding baby oil and tanning oil, Water based lube is fine, but oil damages latex. Whatever you do don't use oil with condoms! It can also cause nasty irritation to sensitive are... (read in full...)
What would I see on an 8 weeks scan?
Q. I am 7 weeks pregnant, me and my husband were wondering what may we see on our 8 weeks scan which i will be having next wednesday. Will it be an ultrasound and will i be able to hear a heart beat. I have had a scan at 6 weeks and could see my baby ...
A. 16 February 2009: I'm not by any means an expert on this but I think, it will appear very similar to the 6 week scan but a little more developed. I doubt you'll actually hear the heat beat yet, but should be able to see it.... (read in full...)
Did I overreact since we aren't in a committed relationship?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been seeing this guy for about 6 months now we are not boyfriend and girlfriend but we a understanding that we arent seeing other people he just isnt ready for a committed relationship and I respect that but the other day he f...
A. 16 February 2009: It sounds like he may be in other non-committed relationships, yes you are over reacting, as you both know where you stand and if you wanted more from him you should have made it clear to him.... (read in full...)
I prefer masturbating to actual sex! What's wrong?
Q. Ok so a very bad sex experience on a virgin makes him get the wrong idea? coz I am afraid I really got the wrong idea about what sex is.. I didn't enjoy it... not in pain but pleasure... didn't feel anything special... I prefer masturrb...
A. 16 February 2009: It's normal to have a few bad expiriences when you first start having sex, and masturbating will always do it for you. Don't give up on sex, the more you have the better it gets. Just always use a condom... (read in full...)
I keep thinking I should be better for him in bed!
Q. My boyfriend told me he once was involved in a threesome with his previous long term partner. He wasnt allowed to touch the other girl and just watched as they got on with it. I now feel like our sex life isnt enough. I have asked him if he wants ...
A. 16 February 2009: Threesomes are not good for proper relationships in many cases. Most guys love the idea of a threesome but in a true loving relationship think it is a horrible idea as it's almost seen as cheating.
I think when he says he doesn't want that wit... (read in full...)
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