A
male
age
30-35,
*hay sham
writes:Hello! I'll get right to the point.I currently live with my father and have for several years now after my parents divorced.My current life is nice, though I have no motivation for anything. It's an extremely small town with no movies, malls, cell service and all that fancy stuff and is hidden away into the mountains. All I do is sit in the house and type away at the computer like I am now, I don't enjoy sports at all so I'm not really interested in taking up one. I have very little friends as well. I'm an extremely nice person, but sadly people are reluctant to talk to me because I am different. I do have a few close friends but I don't see them outside of school. The school itself gives small opportunity to me and to be honest, I want a future. My dad loves me and I am around his side of the family who all care about me as well and I love them. I am treated very well, though me and my dad are distance and of course, being a teenager I really have no desire to bond with him and become good pals. I used to have severe depression in the past, which I am over now but he constantly thinks I am sad and crying. His way of comforting is bugging the crap out of me and poking fun. I've just become extremely unhappy with my life and I really want to find my place until I am ready to go out on my own.When I visit my mother. Where I do all sorts of activities and go places, I have friends and more family who loves me all the same. Me and my mum are a bit closer since as a child me and her lived on our own since my dad had always worked. She lives in more crowded place, which has always been to my liking. I have more friends there than here, ones I trust so much more and love dearly.I know my mum would be much more strict on school, which I'm not very good at sadly even though I do try, but it holds a lot more for me.In the long run, I know my mums would be a better place for me and my happiness. I just can't stand the thought of hurting my father and leaving this place behind. Even if it is a shit-hole, It's where I grew up and have always known so well. I've just never had the guts to actually take those few steps in leaving. I don't know how to tell my dad I want to leave, I know he'll still support me because he wants me to be happy but he'll still be crushed. I also don't want to leave my dog behind, haha.
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female
reader, cady  +, writes (3 February 2009):
 You are pretty clear on what you want yourself except that you do not know how to go on about it. You need to get away from this place as it makes you more lonely and you confess to being unhappy here in all ways(Your friends, mother)and you say your future depends on moving out. You need to tell it out to your dad exactly the same way you wrote, you are growing up and one day you will have to b on your own,your father has to face it now or later.He has been a good father and has tried to make you feel better, its more than most fathers do nowadays.
I think your father will definitely understand your reasons and accept it. He will be hurt but he definitely will want you to be happy more than anything else.You should do what is best for you and your future, you wouldn want to go into depression again would you? Only let him know that you will visit him whenever you get the chance and this does not mean that he is losing you.
A
female
reader, RunsWithScissors  +, writes (3 February 2009):
You have to do what you believe is in your best interest. Your father is an adult and will deal with it, he's the parent - not you - so it's not your job to take care of him but his job to see that what is best for YOU happens. Look at it this way, you will leave his house one way or another...whether it's now or once you graduate from high school. It's not a matter of if, but when.
If your mom is more strict regarding school perhaps that will be a good thing, she will see to it that you get tutoring or extra help, which can only be good for you in the long run. If you really believe that overall you will be happier and do better elsewhere, then go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): It's going to be hard having to break the news to your dad. Everyone knows it's hard. Yet, it's only has hard as you make it. You need to sit him down and talk to him. Tell him everything that you just wrote down. He'll be hurt, but he'll understand..besides give him time and his pain will fade away.
JUST DON'T DO IT YET, I HAVE YOU IN MY HEALTH CLASS!
^^ That was not a dead give-a-way.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 February 2009):
 My advise is to show your Dad what you have written here. I'm sure he will understand, it is clear that you will be much happier with your Mum, but that is not about either parent just the geography.
When you do leave make sure you do make time to call him and visit him when you can, and also you will get to see you dog when you visit.
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