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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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We used protection but I can't stop worrying about unwanted pregnancy, help, I'm 14!
Q. I dont know if i am pregnant or not? I am 14 years old and had sex 3 weeks ago, i haven't missed a period yet but i am so worried. I should be coming up to my period in a few days but i am so tired all the time , and my breasts have become bigger ...
A. 3 February 2009: You are right lots of people have sex before marriage, but most people don't get married till they are n their 20s.
I know you feel hard done to here, but you have to appreciate a majority of the questions on this site are "I'm 14 and might be... (read in full...)
Why do I keep thinking of cheating on my boyfriend?
Q. Dear cupid. I'm thinking about cheating on my boyfriend. I do love him and we have a baby together and there is a guy totally hot for me and we kissed today, and the thoughts I have about him are wild. And I can't get this feeling out my head that ...
A. 3 February 2009: Get a grip sweetheart, will this guy you fancy bring up your child with you! Cheating will get you no-where!... (read in full...)
Should I be annoyed my wife is discussing our marital problems with her friends.
Q. Should I be annoyed my wife is discussing our marital problems with her friends. Because I am! I know we have problems but I haven't talked to my friends about it, I feel it's private information. What do you think?...
A. 3 February 2009: She has to talk to someone, surely you know that girls talk to their friends about everything. Some problems need talking about, maybe you should confide in a close friend and talk about your issues. You never know you might actually benefit... (read in full...)
Why does our country (UK) come to a standstill when it snows when other countries manage to keep going with transport etc?
Q. Why can't the UK get it's self together and provide snow ploughs and more gritting lorries when it snows, instead of just giving a weather warning out and having drivers crash? Why does the country have to come to a standstill? They want us to use ...
A. 3 February 2009: The BBC have got a forum going on about this, you might find it interesting.... (read in full...)
We used protection but I can't stop worrying about unwanted pregnancy, help, I'm 14!
Q. I dont know if i am pregnant or not? I am 14 years old and had sex 3 weeks ago, i haven't missed a period yet but i am so worried. I should be coming up to my period in a few days but i am so tired all the time , and my breasts have become bigger ...
A. 3 February 2009: Which brings me back on to my original point! Go to a Doctor... (read in full...)
We used protection but I can't stop worrying about unwanted pregnancy, help, I'm 14!
Q. I dont know if i am pregnant or not? I am 14 years old and had sex 3 weeks ago, i haven't missed a period yet but i am so worried. I should be coming up to my period in a few days but i am so tired all the time , and my breasts have become bigger ...
A. 3 February 2009: Well you seem very grown up about the whole issue! well done you! So please tell me what you know about chlamydia I'll give you a clue it's not a flower or a girls name!
I really advise that you both go to a sexual health clinic, has your boyfrien... (read in full...)
Help I'm in love with my cousin!!!!!!!!!!
Q. A few months ago I went out with my cousin but after 2 months we broke up. Later a friend and i talked about him and expressed how i still loved him. She went on to tell him and he was so angry we had an agument and we really hated each other...
A. 3 February 2009: Is that duelling banjo's I hear? It's so common for cousins to "fall in love" You are family so you have a close bond, I personally think in breeding is a bad thing and can cause problems with the family. You may been in love with him, but co... (read in full...)
We used protection but I can't stop worrying about unwanted pregnancy, help, I'm 14!
Q. I dont know if i am pregnant or not? I am 14 years old and had sex 3 weeks ago, i haven't missed a period yet but i am so worried. I should be coming up to my period in a few days but i am so tired all the time , and my breasts have become bigger ...
A. 3 February 2009: You are an IDIOT! This is why it is illegal for under 16s to have sex! Go to your doctor or the local sexual health clinic and get tested for pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. If you don't know how to see if you are pregnant or to book an ... (read in full...)
What should I do for Valentine's Day?
Q. Valentine's day is nearing and i'm worried.. very worried. This'll be the first valentine's I've not been alone. Valentine's a day before mine and my girlfriend's 3 month 'anniversery'... which makes me feel yet more under pressure. I was thinking ...
A. 3 February 2009: I hate the pressure that is put on you for valentines day. Why in a loving relationship should you save up all your romantic gestures for one day, when roses are more expensive, all the restaurants are fully booked and the world seems to be full of ... (read in full...)
Are his questions healthy?
Q. Is it healthy for a boyfriend to ask his girlfriend about her past in such details so as to know (for example) how large another man was, how he made her reach orgasm, how strong the orgasms were with other men, or how long they would go down on her ...
A. 3 February 2009: Sounds to me like he is a little unsure of himself, and that he wants to know what pleased you in the past and the standard that he has to meet to be at the level of your passed lovers. To know what makes your girlfriend happy is a very handy thing ... (read in full...)
Does he really want to be just friends or does he just need some time?
Q. Dear Cupid, Me and my boyfriend of 1 year and 2 months, broke up nearly six months ago now, but have remained friends since. His reasons for the breakup were that he wanted to concentrate on himself (his family, studies etc). For many of the...
A. 3 February 2009: But you said "Then recently the sex started again, and then he asked me my views on us still having sex, so I told him how i felt, and a lot of questions were answered"
So how recently was recently?
I think if you want good advise on this o... (read in full...)
Am I am Lesbian?
Q. I'm 15 and I think I might be a lesbian, but I'm not sure AT ALL. Last year, I started thinking about what it would be like to be with a girl and now, The idea of being with a man kinda seems distant. Theres only one guy I've been really attracted...
A. 3 February 2009: You are young, why not wait a little while and see what comes naturally to you, there is nothing wrong with being gay, bi or any other sexuality.
It is understandable to be scared and freaking out about this, but all teenagers are scared about se... (read in full...)
Is my Army guy interested in me or not?
Q. I am "seeing" a army guy who has just recently been deployed. I thought we had made a connection before he left and we said that we would here for eachother and talk on msn. However when i emailed him 4 days ago, i did not get a reply which is u...
A. 3 February 2009: The most likely reason for him not to chat to you on-line, is because the internet facilities are so poor out there at the moment.
But he could also be trying to distance himself from you, for your own protection. Communications have been hacked, ... (read in full...)
What is the legal definition of common law in Canada?
Q. I am curious to find out the legal definition of common law in all of Canada by breaking it down by province. Someone is convinced that common law status in Alberta is three months, but that is incorrect. Also there is this girl on facebook that met ...
A. 3 February 2009: This seems to be a bit of a silly question, and you just want the answer to prove a point, I suggest going into any good book shop finding some books on Canadian marital law and researching the topic yourself!
I really think that you are actu... (read in full...)
A little piece of encouragement
Q. i just wanted to say a few words of encouragement to all of you who might be have a hard time with relationship and such. first off all, the God who made you loves you and is watching you all the time. God did not design your body's for sex, ...
A. 3 February 2009: The human body is designed for sex! that's what sex organs are there for, and we would not be able to produce any more of Gods flock with out having sex! I agree that under age sex is dangerous and that not using a condom can cause all kinds of ... (read in full...)
How to invite female to flat for first time?
Q. how can i invite a female friend to my flat for first time. I need a good excuse, maybe invite her to watch movie and order food? Please give lots of suggestions! Thank you...
A. 3 February 2009: Well you've not given us much to work with here, how well do you know this "Female", I'm guessing you don't want her to come round to play a HALO death match with? So I'm also assuming that your intentions aren't entirely honourable are they?
... (read in full...)
Does it matter that I'm single? Or is he only interested in sex?
Q. Hello everyone... I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year. We had a fairly deep connection, but things did not work out well between us, and I decided to finally break it off a few days ago. During the last week before we broke up,...
A. 3 February 2009: In my personal experience, I think he would be interested in a relationship with you, but I doubt it would last very long, he knows you are a cheat and you know he has no morals. There will be a huge trust issue here and you will find that you turn ... (read in full...)
What's it mean if she doesn't reply back?
Q. i met this met girl today and she seem nice and all n i got her num today and i dont wanna text heron da first day so i jus left a message sayin hey how are u? its (name)im not sure if u remeber me but this is my number. hoe you are well x now tho ...
A. 3 February 2009: Are you the same guy who asked when you should text the girl??
Give her a chance! Do you know the most annoying thing in the world is being expected to reply to a message there and then. She has to read your message for clues, show all her mate... (read in full...)
How do I tell him after we had sex that I want a monogamous relationship while at this level?
Q. How do I tell a guy after I have dated him six times, had sex with on the sixth date, and want to have sex with again, that I want to be monogamous while we are in this level of the relationship? It's an ex post facto thing and, although ...
A. 3 February 2009: I think you are both old enough to have a serious adult conversation, you have already been as intimate as you can by having sex with him.
Come on you aren't a teenager, be up front and honest about it. As you say he is a gentleman and I know as ... (read in full...)
Should I still try be friends with them, or move on?
Q. So I've been best friends with these two guys for a couple years. We all look at porn and masturbate. One time I was at work and they were looking at internet porn together and they thought it would be new and exiting to give each other hand jobs. ...
A. 3 February 2009: OK I think these guys may be more than good friends. I think you should stay friends with them but when it comes to their special time I think three might be a crowd.... (read in full...)
Shared friends or separate social groups better in a relationship?
Q. I was curious as to which scenario you think makes a relationship work better. If the both partners have the same group of friends that hang out on a regular basis or if each partner has their own group of friends that they alternate hanging out ...
A. 3 February 2009: It depends on the relationship there is no right or wrong answer.... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to my ex more than my boyfriend.
Q. I love my boyfriend I've been going out with for a month,but im in love with another boy I had sex with before I started talking to my boyfriend.the another boy I had sex with is confusing me on his feelings about me.I really really wanna have sex ...
A. 3 February 2009: You want sex because you are young and your hormones are going crazy! Firstly you are far too young to have sex. Lets just say last time was an experience, you know what to do now. But play it safe I see far too many girls of your age asking if they ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before texting?
Q. hey i recently met this girl at my school only for 2 day pretty much and yeah i got her number like after school like at 3pm when do you guys suggest it be good time to text her coz i dont wanna text to early n like seem desperate or i got nuthing ...
A. 3 February 2009: There is nothing wrong with texting her when you got home, just saying hi, and checking she has your number. Just because you have her number doesn't mean you have to ask her out the same day. Just send her a nice friendly text and then it's up to ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant from his naked rubbing?
Q. My boyfriend and I recently had sex. We used a condom, but I just realized that he rubbed himself against me while neither of us were wearing clothes and he didn't have the condom on yet. Could I be pregnant?...
A. 3 February 2009: It's very unlikely that you are pregnant from just that but it'd be worth taking a test just to put your mind at rest. In future if its hard, it wears a condom! ... (read in full...)
What do I do about my out of control crush?
Q. Hey. I think I'm a bit psychologically unstable. I recently started to have a big crush on this one girl, but for some reason this is different. When I'm not around her, I think about her all the time. I can't concentrate on homework, and whenever ...
A. 3 February 2009: I remember doing the same kind of thing at your age, and so did my mates it's normal, and will settle with time. I forgot how much I hated my teenage years till I came back on this site. Don't worry things get batter and you will look back at this ... (read in full...)
Does he really want to be just friends or does he just need some time?
Q. Dear Cupid, Me and my boyfriend of 1 year and 2 months, broke up nearly six months ago now, but have remained friends since. His reasons for the breakup were that he wanted to concentrate on himself (his family, studies etc). For many of the...
A. 3 February 2009: I think he still wants to be friends because he can have sex with you! He wants the benefits of a relationship with out the responsibility. He is walking all over you and you are taking it. Stop having sex with him and see if he still wants to b... (read in full...)
Do intentional one-way conversations work?
Q. I am taking a break/vacation with my boyfriend of 10 months right now. It's only been a few days, but I realized many things. One being that I feel that taking a break is just running away from our problems. I'm want to give him space and all that, ...
A. 3 February 2009: That sounds like a good idea, but remember there are two sides to every story and when you open a can of worms they are out for good. Don't expect to like everything he has to say.... (read in full...)
Should I voice out to my mum???
Q. I am turning 20 this year. i have not been in a relationship before. My family is quite conservative about this matter, especially my mum. I started to hang out with a guy recently. And she started to giving some advice... hint me not to hang out ...
A. 3 February 2009: I think you should respect your mothers wishes to a point, but there needs to be some compromise there also, try talking to your mum and reassuring her that you are a sensible lady and that you are not going to rush into anything serious with this ... (read in full...)
My three daughters are treating my girlfriend like crap!
Q. My three daughters (they'll 5, 4, and 8 but mainly my oldest) treat my girlfriend (of a year) like crap. She (my oldest) tells my gf or me to f*** off or to drop died (her sisters are starting to copy her). She have been acting like this since she ...
A. 3 February 2009: I think your girls may need some professional help. This is no way for an 8 year old to behave and I think we both know the reasons why it is happening.... (read in full...)
All men! Is confidence... Hot or not???
Q. I have never been a confident girl. Althought people tell me I should I like every other girl, see nothing more then my FLAWS.. I have heard from a number of people men see confidence attractive? I in many ways believes this. But I have never heard ...
A. 3 February 2009: No one man is the same and we all go for different things in girls. The best you can do is just be yourself, you will be surprised what will turn up when you are least expecting it.... (read in full...)
Is shaving anal hair a turn on?
Q. I've heard about people who shave their anus... It would be something I would consider because I think anus hair is really gross but its not exactly an easy area to reach and I don't want to cut myself. I've also heard of people who have their p...
A. 3 February 2009: I think there are professionals out there who can wax that kind of thing. If my wife asked me to shave her butt, I would roll around laughing and then when I realised she was serious, I wouldn't know what to do. Definitely a massive turn off... (read in full...)
I have two college degrees, but have been unemployed for awhile now. Got a job interview, but not sure if I even want it. What to do?
Q. I have a problem. I have been unemployed for a looong time and living with family. I live in a territory in which is very normal to be unemployed because most of the people go to college but there aren't many jobs. I ocassionaly work part time f...
A. 3 February 2009: I think you need to get over your pride and go for the job, there will be other applicants there too so you may not even get it but the interview practice will do you good.... (read in full...)
Should juvenile offenders be tried as adults when committing adult crimes?
Q. ok so i know this has nothing to do with sex, love, dating or relationships but i didnt know where else to ask this. well my question is should juvenile offenders be tried as adults when committing adult crimes such as murder? we're going to have a ...
A. 3 February 2009: Why do people come on here for there homework answers? ... (read in full...)
Could someone shed some light on the idea of tantric sex? What's it all about?
Q. Hello all! Im not having a relationship problem,thankfully.But im here seeking some insight into something that I know nothing about.I was talking to my boyfriend last night.I asked what he was up to,and he was online reading about tantric sex.Ive ...
A. 3 February 2009: I'm not sure. But why don't you google it, I'm sure that's where he found out.... (read in full...)
I'm completely scared about the pain that will come with first time sex!
Q. I dont want to seem naive or typical when i ask this but i have a sex question. My boyfriend wants to have sex and im not opposed to the idea but im scared about the pain. He's an amazing guy and hasnt pressured me into anything but i know he wants ...
A. 3 February 2009: Lots and lots of foreplay, make sure you are in the mood and don't feel bad about using lube.
Take it slowly, and for gods sake make sure you use a condom! ... (read in full...)
Engaged to a guy I love but wish I was still with my ex for the sex.
Q. OK,I have a few problems in my sex life, all of which I would assume are my own for not speaking up, but the main is, I'm in my mid 20s and I've never had an orgasm with any partner, by myself no problem, but I know the main problem is because in ...
A. 3 February 2009: Don't fake it. Why not introduce a bit of role play get him to tie your hands up and convince him to make it all about you for a change. When he does something right make sure he knows about it, and when he does something wrong correct him.
If yo... (read in full...)
How can I warn her that her new BF is an abusive ass??
Q. I dated this one guy for two years and a year and a half of that time was utter hell for me. Though I didn't know I was actually being abused until just a couple months ago. Since then, I broke up with him because he eventually cheated on me and I ...
A. 3 February 2009: I like the anonymous answer, I'd go with that
Good luck ... (read in full...)
I lied to my girlfriend, how can I fix what I've done?
Q. Hey, i have another issue. I did something really bad I lied to my girlfriend and like i told her that i was going to my grandpas house and then like i went to the movies. Then when i got there her friends saw me and i was sitting next to one ...
A. 3 February 2009: I have an idea how to get people to trust you...... Hold on to your seat here you might not see this coming..... Stop telling lies! There not difficult!
If she is silly enough to take you back, you must not lie to her again, if you want to go ou... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any ideas on how I can break up with him once and for all?
Q. If anyone out there can help me, I would be so very grateful... I have a lying, cheating, stingy, emotionally and slightly physically abusive boyfriend. I know I should break up with him. I know he is bad for me. I have caught him on Adul...
A. 3 February 2009: It is so difficult to walk away from an abusive relationship because the whole purpose of the abuse is to make you feel worthless with out him, and it has worked! It makes me feel sick that there are such pathetic men out there! I can not give you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has become violent with me, and I no longer feel I can trust him. Can our relationship ever recover?
Q. Two days ago in what should have been a simple albeit heartfelt discussion about the way our relationship was going, my boyfriend and I started arguing. He swore at me before I had time to finish a sentence or really even start upon what I wanted ...
A. 3 February 2009: My advise is to get the next plane home, once a man has hit the women he loves there is no turning back.... It will happen again! This man does not deserve your love and affection, get out of there as soon as possible, you will be much better off ... (read in full...)
Did she just make it up that she has a boyfriend? Does she want me?
Q. I've been seeing a woman that I work with, from Nicaragua, she has 2 children from different men who both abandoned her while pregnant. It took me 3 months for her to agree to see me outside of work, 2 months as friends, and 3 months ago is what ...
A. 3 February 2009: Maybe she just likes your companionship and is telling the truth?
Why not devote your affections to a single girl who will appreciate it. ... (read in full...)
I love him, but I think he's running away
Q. Okay long story short, i met a boy 'Andrew' at school. we went out for about a week in yr 9 but broke up mutually because we both weren't ready. After the break up we became closer and spoke more often, and i always remembered the feeling i felt w...
A. 3 February 2009: I think no matter what anyone says here you guys will end up together! Just keep your word about the self-harm so he trusts you and I would not spend time together with his Mum.... (read in full...)
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