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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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Uprotected sex 3 days after my period, are there risks?
Q. Im dating this guy and we had unprotected sex on 2/7/09 which was 3 days after my period and now im starting to think i might be pregnant am i just paranoid or could i really be prego?...
A. 10 February 2009: Yes you could be pregnant, or risk a disease young teenager due to unprotected sex. Go to your doctor and get checked out. Don't have underage sex again, and when you are old enough use condoms! Don't panic either! Good luck... (read in full...)
I worry I might have herpes, warts, or rash?
Q. My boyfriend and I had lots of sex this one week, and I started to get a little sore during this week. After, I went to the gyno for a checkup on my cervical dysplasia. The gyno said it was mild and took a sample of my cervix. It gave me a strange ...
A. 10 February 2009: I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this does sound like an STI. I think you are doing the right thing by going to your doc.... (read in full...)
Delayed period, what could it be?
Q. i am a 19 year old lesbian ....i have been with my girlfriend for a very long time i usually get my period two days after her is been about a month passed is till havent gotten it i dont sleep with boys so what could it be im very scared...
A. 10 February 2009: It's not unusual for periods can be all over the place for various reasons. But my advice on anything like this is to see a Doctor, with out knowing a full medical history and checking your pulse, blood pressure etc, there is no way of telling what ... (read in full...)
Bisexual and High forced me to become a prisoner
Q. Back in 2006 I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex girlfriend of 2 years. It was stupid, and I wasn't focused. (I was high). Since that incident I vowed that I would stay true to him and our relationship. He "forgave" me and I have kept my promise. ...
A. 7 February 2009: You sound miserable in this relationship, and although as you admit you were in the wrong, he took you back and I assume said he forgave you.
My advise: get out of the relationship, he has not forgiven you therefore the trust will never come bac... (read in full...)
Did I ruin her birthday by saying I wasn't ready for under the pants action?
Q. okay ineed a little help... mee and my girlfriend have been going out for over 3 months now,, and she's great, i love her to death, i cant be without her and she loves me too-she's a really great grl.. so yesterday was her birthday and she...
A. 7 February 2009: Honestly you did the right thing. There are so many more regrets to giving in at your age than there are for just waiting.
You will get aroused but that is no excuse to act on it. Be strong for you and her.
She may not appreciate it no... (read in full...)
How can I stop hating myself so much???
Q. When I was 9 I started to have sex with myself and now I'm very ashamed of myself and sometimes I think people can see it in me and will make fun of me. Now I'm scared and I also looked at porn and am even more ashamed....
A. 7 February 2009: Your in your late 20's, really don't worry about it, there are very very few people who don't masturbate and discovering your sexuality at that age is not uncommon or anything to be ashamed about. There is also nothing wrong with looking at porn!... (read in full...)
My ex and I are in love but in different relationship, what do we do?
Q. ok I have a huge problem. I'm still in love with my ex and he says he's still in love with me too but we are both in different relationships. My boyfriend is amazing but I miss my ex so much and I don't know how to get over him. Would it be easier ...
A. 7 February 2009: Split up with your partners and get back together. It is not fair on your partners to be stuck in the middle here.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's new friend! (Yawwwwwn)
Q. Little stuff with my gf is pissing me off, she met a new friend at work and blew me off, I played it cool cause I love her and she doesn't have many friends. I love her to death, we will probably meet tonight and get a little intimate if you know ...
A. 7 February 2009: Grow up, the world does not revolve around you! You sound jealous and petty!
If she doesn't have many friends you should be thankful that she has found one, this means she can go out with her friend and you can have a day on the Xbox with out... (read in full...)
She's talking to her ex and I'm uncomfortable with it, what should I do?
Q. hi, well im dating this girl and we have been going out for a really long time like 2 or 3 years, and i know im only 15 but i love this girl. but in the last couple of days she has been talking to her ex and ill be like "who are you talking to?" and ...
A. 7 February 2009: Talk to her about it but don't get stroppy be honest and calm about the issue, I'm sure talking to a guy isn't a dumping offence. ... (read in full...)
Any way I can stop it from happening so fast?
Q. Hi When I have sex, I come so fast that it just kills the mood for me and my girlfriend as soon as we start to get into it. I’d like to let her enjoy it longer than I do now. It literally takes like 1-2 min for me to come. Is there anything I co...
A. 7 February 2009: Make it about her, lots of foreplay. and if cum, put on a fresh condom and go again!
... (read in full...)
Did I ruin her birthday by saying I wasn't ready for under the pants action?
Q. okay ineed a little help... mee and my girlfriend have been going out for over 3 months now,, and she's great, i love her to death, i cant be without her and she loves me too-she's a really great grl.. so yesterday was her birthday and she...
A. 7 February 2009: I really respect the fact that a guy has actually had the balls to say no to a girl on this one. If you are not ready that is fine, wait till you feel the time is right,
If she loves you she will understand, not to mention that you are both und... (read in full...)
I love him but can't tell him to his face
Q. i love him so much but in just can't tell him face to face. he always ask me how i feel about him but when i attempt to tell him my mind goes blank and my hands start sweating and i start stuttering. i want to tell him im in love with him and i need ...
A. 7 February 2009: It's valentines day next weekend, send him a card and see what happens. Worse thing is nothing and you can pretend it never happened!... (read in full...)
Should I take him backafter he wanted his freedom?
Q. my boy friend of 1 year broke up with me cuz he wanted to look at other girls when he was with his friends and said i just want to have my freedom back so he broke up with me. and then like 6 months later i moved back to the town my mom lives at...
A. 7 February 2009: So this has gone one of two ways:
1, He's tried it on with other girls and got knocked back and realised that you still like him and if he puts the charm on he could get back with you.
In which case he doesn't deserve you!
2. He met other... (read in full...)
Desperate for some physical arousal!
Q. I never get physically aroused any more, and that's making me desperate! I'm 20. I was always horny, lol. Ever since puberty, I'd check out guys, have fantasies, etc. I got together with my boyfriend and I was hornier than ever! I was always fanta...
A. 7 February 2009: This sounds like a side effect of depression and is a very common stress reaction. The best thing you can do is seek professional advise.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Is he dropping hints about sex?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months and i think he's dropping "hints" about sex. Yesterday we went to see his parents for a couple of hours and they seam to approve. Then that night he came over to my place and took a shower. Then ...
A. 6 February 2009: Yes he is dropping hints! I'm guessing he's in his teens/early 20's too? Are you saying that after 4 months together you haven't had sex? Of course he is dropping hints about sex! He's being going out with you for 4 months, and he's a young man... (read in full...)
Do boys find a girl swearing attractive?
Q. Like in a tomboyish way. Girls who act like boys not in a lesbian way like the way they act and everything (you know what I mean) OR ANOTHER TYPE OF girly girls like sluts who think ther're all "IT".. They also swear alot and dab on makeup so muc...
A. 6 February 2009: Girls swearing is truly horrible! I'm a soldier and I'm used to foul language and often use some strong profanities myself. But if any of my female soldiers swears, I'll tell them off, it just sounds so wrong coming from a girl. Maybe I'm just... (read in full...)
How can I help so that our first time is loooong lasting?
Q. My boyfriend says that after a guy gets so used to masturbating..the first time after that, he cums faster. He says it gets a bit sensitive down there. Is this true? How can I help so that our first time is loooong lasting? ...
A. 6 February 2009: It's frustrating as anything, imagine being brought to the point of orgasm and then him stopping and saying "no more" Oh is it your first time with him or are you talking about losing your virginity to him? ... (read in full...)
How can I help so that our first time is loooong lasting?
Q. My boyfriend says that after a guy gets so used to masturbating..the first time after that, he cums faster. He says it gets a bit sensitive down there. Is this true? How can I help so that our first time is loooong lasting? ...
A. 6 February 2009: Your boyfriend is making excuses, if anything masturbating decreases sensitivity and would last longer, guys tend to cum faster than girls it's how we're designed. Back in caveman times you needed to get the job done quickly so you could carry on ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband tell his ex to finalise the divorce papers...?
Q. Alright my husband is doing time. A lot of time. He has 5 more years to go. I did 13 years with him already and married him in there. (don't bash me for this.) He started using drugs in 1991 when he met this other lady who was an addict. She was ...
A. 5 February 2009: This is a little worrying have you explained that technically he is still married to this woman and you which makes him a bigamist, which can earn him more time locked up!
... (read in full...)
He says his hours have changed but I think he is cheating?
Q. i've been married to my husband now for 6 years and we have 4 wonderful children together. i love him very much and he hasnt done anything to imply that he doesnt love me anymore. he has worked at the same place for 5 years but recently hes said ...
A. 5 February 2009: We are in a financial crisis people may have to work more hours for the same money. I think if he has said he has to work more hours then maybe that is just the case. There is no other indication that he is cheating and it sounds like you have a ... (read in full...)
Am I special? Or did I just take the bait?
Q. I'm a little concerned about the guy I'm dating, I mean he told me how lonely he was in his marriage (divorced now)and how they didn't have sex for the last 2-3 years of their marriage so in turn, he cheated on his wife. The problem is, it sounds ...
A. 5 February 2009: I think you took the bait too, tasteofindia is right, time to move on.... (read in full...)
I'm turned on by watching fat, unattractive men in porn videos, is this strange?
Q. Any other girl with the same "fetish"? Thanks for answers. Hay, This question might sound a bit weird. I'm 19 and I recently found out that i have some kind of fetish about watching porn movies with older man having sex with younger girls(18-25)...
A. 5 February 2009: I sound like your perfect man! Ha ha!
But seriously, it's perfectly normal to have strange fantasies and it will pass.... (read in full...)
Pretending to be the ex during sex?
Q. What do you think about a husband asking his wife to play like he is her ex, while they are having sex?...
A. 5 February 2009: Seems a little twisted to me!... (read in full...)
Partner divorced 2 years ex wife still on his computer!
Q. I have been with my partner 2 years and have recently given birth to a son. My partner got Divorced 2 years ago but fails to delete all of his ex wife's photos holidays, wedding etc from his PC and company Home Server. I finally moved in x-mas a...
A. 5 February 2009: I think that you are asking him to remove memories of his life. Why should he delete holiday and wedding photos, it's all part of his history. If they were naked photos of his ex fair play, but family holidays and important events of his life, good ... (read in full...)
Guys: What kind of colors/clothes do you like girls to wear?
Q. guys, what kind of clothes do you like girls to wear? do you like dresses or the casual, sweatshirt look? do any specific colors catch your eye?...
A. 5 February 2009: Everybody has different tastes. I like girls to dress smart casual, Jeans/skirt, a nice top and boots/shoes. Colour doesn't matter too much. But that is just me other guys like different things and it depends on what kind of guy you want to attract. ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant... what happens if I have sex right now?
Q. Hi, i am 16 and well....prenant. I am a couple monthes in. I havent been to a doctor so i ahvent been able to ask but... Well, okay so the first time i lost my virginity was when i actually got pregnant. ironic, right? anyway, me and my boyfriend ...
A. 5 February 2009: You've had some good advise so far. But do go to a doctor as soon as possible. If you are not mature enough to prevent pregnancy you probably need all the help you can get to work through NINE months of having a small life that effects everything ... (read in full...)
Questions about chlamydia...
Q. Can you have chlamydia and not know it? and if so can you pass it on to someone else during sex even if you dont ejaculate inside?...
A. 5 February 2009: I've just checked out that web site and all the answers are there! ... (read in full...)
I think I might be sick next time..
Q. My boyfriend has a smelly cock and he keeps wanting me to go down on him, what do I do? I keep wretching - think i may be sick the next time- help!...
A. 5 February 2009: I advise you to not go down there till he has seen his doctor about the issue as you can see from other posts there are various reasons why he may be unpleasant down there.
Once he has the all clear and has a good hygiene regime, if it is still un... (read in full...)
I'm 24, she's 16. Can I go for it now or should I wait?
Q. I am 24 years old. There this girl that is 16 years old that I am attracted to. Part of me want to see if there is a chance to see if they is a chance at us hooking up, but part of me says we are too different. There is the age difference a...
A. 4 February 2009: Why do you guys get so hung up over religion, my wife and I have different beliefs it's a healthy thing.
Now the age thing is more of a concern she is 16 and still in School I guess and you are 24, it's bordering on creepy, I personally would wa... (read in full...)
I can't believe that today I cheated on my GF, what do I do now?
Q. i cheated. I cheated. I f***ing cheated! I feel like shit. I hate myself so f***ing much right now. I swore ide never cheat on my gf, I did today. I cheated on her with my ex, who cheated on me! my girlfriend has never done anything like that at ...
A. 4 February 2009: Don't tell her and don't do it again!... (read in full...)
Things aren't getting better with my fiance, should I broke up and be with the new guy?
Q. Im 20 and have been with a 27 yr old for 2 years. We got engaged on my 19th birthday and things were going great. Only problem was we had sex about once a month. We got a mortgage and a house together as i thought things between us would change. We ...
A. 4 February 2009: you don't love him and have no respect for him, the kindest thing you can do is to split up from him and let him find a nice girl who won't cheat on him.... (read in full...)
How can I break my hymen, since using a dildo doesn't work?
Q. Hi, I'm a virgin, and I'd like to break my hymen myself, so I won't have to worry about the pain when I eventually have sex. The problem is, that I've tried inserting a dildo before, and was able to get it in, but there was no bleeding, and no pain. ...
A. 4 February 2009: Have you ever rode a bike, horse or done the splits? If so then your hymen has probably already broken at your age it is unlikely to be intact.
I advise not to you this inanimate object and wait for a nice guy to loose your virginity to properly... (read in full...)
We're still messing around after breakup, what's it mean?
Q. i broke up with this guy in the yr 2005 we been through so much and ppl hated on us. but for some reason we still mess around on the low and its 2009 now. i feel like he has too much pride to let ppl know hes still into me after all the things we ...
A. 4 February 2009: You should stop, he is using you! He doesn't love you but wants to have sex while he is looking for someone new.... (read in full...)
Should I go ahead and do it?
Q. There is this guy and I want to have sex with him but I'm a virgin and he is not. Should I go ahead do it or should I wait, by the way he is 3 years older than me....
A. 4 February 2009: No you shouldn't! It is illegal and he can go to prison for it, wait till you are old enough to consent legally to having sex.... (read in full...)
Why does he flirt with me if he loves her?
Q. I'm a 14 year old girl and i really really like this guy in my class. my best friend used to be his girlfriend but then they broke up and then she dated another guy and he is still in love with her. i told him i liked/loved him and he said that hes ...
A. 3 February 2009: I think he does like you but he needs some time to sort his head out. Boys are more complicated than you would think and also have all the strange neurotic thoughts that girls have.
Let him get over his ex, and in time I'm sure it will all work... (read in full...)
What's with the itching?
Q. hi i really need some help im a 15 year old girl and i keep itching down bellow around my vagina its really iriatating me and when i piss its really saw i have no vagina hair down there but im just a bit concerned wat it could be?i am quite sexually ...
A. 3 February 2009: when you say you have no hair is it because you shave down there? As that could be one cause of the itching.
I strongly suggest you go to your doctor any itching down there is not a good sign. It could be a simple fungal infection (thrush)... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps pushing for sex and I don't feel ready!
Q. My boyfriend keeps pushing the issue on 'Sex' And I'm not ready. He tries and tries again, but his efforts are useless. We've gone as far as very passionate kissing and touching, rubbing that kinda thing. I'm not a tease but he initiates all this ...
A. 3 February 2009: If your not ready, your not ready. This guy really needs to learn to realise that pushing you into having sex will push you apart.
I think that you want different things and it may well be worth finishing the relationship, because you are both goi... (read in full...)
I don't want to make a fool of myself, should I send him a valentine card?
Q. Hi, I met a really nice lad followed me round bars on night out and left his mates to come to next bar to see me. He was a proper gentleman. Went out a couple times and everything was going well, he invited me back to his to watch tv and insisted ...
A. 3 February 2009: Yes you should send him a card, even if he doesn't act on it, (which I think he will), everyone likes to get a card on valentines day.
Apart from a bruised ego, what have you got to loose?... (read in full...)
I'm seriously considering getting a hysterectomy...
Q. I have a question that may offend some people, for which I'm sorry, I just feel like I can't ask anyone I know, because they'll judge me. I'm a 16 year old female, and started my periods when I was 12. Every month, I get such extreme stomach ...
A. 3 February 2009: I don't think any doctor would agree to that surgery, with the history you have given hun.
Have you spoken to your doctor about these issues. I fully understand the fact that you don't want kids, and people should respect your opinion on that.
... (read in full...)
We used protection but I can't stop worrying about unwanted pregnancy, help, I'm 14!
Q. I dont know if i am pregnant or not? I am 14 years old and had sex 3 weeks ago, i haven't missed a period yet but i am so worried. I should be coming up to my period in a few days but i am so tired all the time , and my breasts have become bigger ...
A. 3 February 2009: You are right lots of people have sex before marriage, but most people don't get married till they are n their 20s.
I know you feel hard done to here, but you have to appreciate a majority of the questions on this site are "I'm 14 and might be... (read in full...)
Why do I keep thinking of cheating on my boyfriend?
Q. Dear cupid. I'm thinking about cheating on my boyfriend. I do love him and we have a baby together and there is a guy totally hot for me and we kissed today, and the thoughts I have about him are wild. And I can't get this feeling out my head that ...
A. 3 February 2009: Get a grip sweetheart, will this guy you fancy bring up your child with you! Cheating will get you no-where!... (read in full...)
We used protection but I can't stop worrying about unwanted pregnancy, help, I'm 14!
Q. I dont know if i am pregnant or not? I am 14 years old and had sex 3 weeks ago, i haven't missed a period yet but i am so worried. I should be coming up to my period in a few days but i am so tired all the time , and my breasts have become bigger ...
A. 3 February 2009: Which brings me back on to my original point! Go to a Doctor... (read in full...)
We used protection but I can't stop worrying about unwanted pregnancy, help, I'm 14!
Q. I dont know if i am pregnant or not? I am 14 years old and had sex 3 weeks ago, i haven't missed a period yet but i am so worried. I should be coming up to my period in a few days but i am so tired all the time , and my breasts have become bigger ...
A. 3 February 2009: Well you seem very grown up about the whole issue! well done you! So please tell me what you know about chlamydia I'll give you a clue it's not a flower or a girls name!
I really advise that you both go to a sexual health clinic, has your boyfrien... (read in full...)
We used protection but I can't stop worrying about unwanted pregnancy, help, I'm 14!
Q. I dont know if i am pregnant or not? I am 14 years old and had sex 3 weeks ago, i haven't missed a period yet but i am so worried. I should be coming up to my period in a few days but i am so tired all the time , and my breasts have become bigger ...
A. 3 February 2009: You are an IDIOT! This is why it is illegal for under 16s to have sex! Go to your doctor or the local sexual health clinic and get tested for pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. If you don't know how to see if you are pregnant or to book an ... (read in full...)
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