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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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He thinks my body BELONGS to him!!!!
Q. My boyfriend of 4 months says I'm his... therefore so is my body, supposedly we love each other. He says he does, his hands are always all over me, alone or not! Once we are in a private place and he wouldn't stop! I don't mind that but I do mind ...
A. 7 March 2009: Even with your reply I stand by my answer!
NO means NO! It is that simple, he has to know the boundaries, and if he continues it is SEXUAL ASSAULT.
If I'm in the mood and my wife isn't I don't push her into it because that is RAPE! It doesn't... (read in full...)
She wants to end the affair, do I end the gifts?
Q. I have been having an affair with my personnel assistant (PA) for the last 3 years. I gave her preferential treatment in terms of promotion, gifts, conference trips and salary. At the start of the relationship I thought she was going with me for ...
A. 7 March 2009: Professionalism... FAIL! You can't demote her and reduce her pay because she's stopped sleeping with you, because she feels guilty as she knows what you are doing is wrong!
I think YOU need to resign over this as YOU where the one abusing your pos... (read in full...)
Would you say this guy really likes me?
Q. This guy and I have known each other for five years and have been good friends for about three, ever since I graduated from college, and have been flirting quite a bit since last summer. He was a prof in my college major so I saw him often. There...
A. 7 March 2009: Because it can come across as a little too keen, I don't know the entire reasons for this, it's just a little creepy.... (read in full...)
Would you say this guy really likes me?
Q. This guy and I have known each other for five years and have been good friends for about three, ever since I graduated from college, and have been flirting quite a bit since last summer. He was a prof in my college major so I saw him often. There...
A. 7 March 2009: I'd really play it cool, turning up at his office unannounced could really throw him off.
Just meet him as planned, don't get too enthusiastic about it, and see what happens.
Maybe send him an e-mail saying you are looking forward to seein... (read in full...)
He thinks my body BELONGS to him!!!!
Q. My boyfriend of 4 months says I'm his... therefore so is my body, supposedly we love each other. He says he does, his hands are always all over me, alone or not! Once we are in a private place and he wouldn't stop! I don't mind that but I do mind ...
A. 7 March 2009: This is sexual assault! It doesn't matter if he's a random, your boyfriend or your husband!
Tell him not to do it again or you will go to the police! And if he does it again go to the police, this boy is a SEX OFFENDER! and has no respect ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend about his girlfriend or wait and see what happens?
Q. Hi, my name is Janie and I've been seeing this amazing guy and we really got along and his family get on well with me, his sister's and I are practically best friends but last week he said he wants to break up and accused me of cheating! To be ...
A. 7 March 2009: Leave them to make their own mistakes, if you interfere now Aaron will assume you are doing it to cause trouble between them. ... (read in full...)
Why is my daughter-in-law jealous of the bond I have with my grandson.
Q. Why is my daughter-in-law jealous of the bond I have with my grandson. I have brought him up since he was 3 month old. I had him every day while she works, he's nearly 3 now. Because I am very close to him she has put him in full time nursery....
A. 7 March 2009: Has she actually said that she's put him in nursery because of you? It sounds very unlikely. It's very easy for a Grandmother to know what is best for a child and this can come across as over controlling and interfering.
The child is HER son, and... (read in full...)
Would you say this guy really likes me?
Q. This guy and I have known each other for five years and have been good friends for about three, ever since I graduated from college, and have been flirting quite a bit since last summer. He was a prof in my college major so I saw him often. There...
A. 7 March 2009: I think his shyness and the age difference will probably put him off a lot! What is said in an e-mail and what is meant in real life.
Meet up with him have fun and see what happens!... (read in full...)
I keep dreaming I'm sleeping with Present Bush!
Q. This isn't exactly a relationship question, but I'm in desperate need of help here! This is going to sound really weird and borderline gross, but please bear with me. I am a young, female, Liberal Democrat of nineteen (voted for Obama and suppor...
A. 7 March 2009: Chill out with the politics we now know you are a liberal!
It's ok, maybe all the pot you have been smoking has given you these crazy dreams!
But seriously, a dream is a dream. I think you worry about your political leanings a little bit t... (read in full...)
I love my cousin's sister
Q. Hi guys, I need ur urgent help very urgent, ok here's the problem I love my cousin's sister a lot (maternal uncle's daughter) but I don't see her much, I only see her once in a year or 2 but I'm crazy about jet she is damn damn hot, she is only 19 ...
A. 7 March 2009: Get over her this is not healthy for either of you! Are you honestly 22-25, because you are acting and sounding like a 15 year old!
Why would someone who says he's as close as a brother want to take that girls virginity? I think you actually... (read in full...)
Where can I meet guys that don't focus on looks?
Q. Hey guys, I appreciate any help you can give! I've been finding it hard to get over an ex from years ago because I haven't dated anyone since (5 years) I barely get a kiss when I'm out because I'm quite big, I'd be about 250lb but am quite tall too ...
A. 7 March 2009: Have you tried joining groups, you must have something you are interested in? There are lots of groups and societies out there, with lots of people and I'm sure once you meet some like minded folks you'll eventually find love.
Get out there an... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to use very abusive language on him during our romantic weekend!
Q. I'm a 34-year-old businesswoman, my husband's 36, and our son's 11 years old and in High school. Last night me and my husband were talking about ideas for making our sex life hotter and having a romantic week together as we haven't had one ...
A. 7 March 2009: Try it and see? Some guys do like that kind of stuff. ... (read in full...)
Guy knows all these things about me and I don't know who he is!
Q. A month ago i received a call from this guy i assumed was they guy i used to fancy when we worked together. He didn't call me for a month an this morning at 4 o'clock i got a call from the same guy. He said he wanted to meet up with me and that he ...
A. 7 March 2009: Call the police, this behaviour is threatening and illegal. Keep the messages and they can find out who it is.
... (read in full...)
How do I make her understand my problem?
Q. How do i make her understand my problem? help ......? hi, im going to get married next year and the wedding date is fixed after talks with my and my bf's parents.im doing a day job and he is doing a night job. my parents are BUYING me a house ne...
A. 7 March 2009: Oh the in-law situation, you can never make both sets of parents, you need to talk with your fiancé and explain all your worries to him, and tell him you don't want to upset his mother, but you need to find a compromise. Could your parents buy you a ... (read in full...)
He is "out of order"
Q. After asking my partner a simple question (a faulty kettle) last week we ended up having a big argument about our relationship and how he wants to be on his own, how i grind him to the ground (i can assure you i do nothing of the sort- really!) ...
A. 7 March 2009: Depression is a horrible self centred illness and the thoughts and feelings that anyone else has mean nothing to you, you are so absorbed that your life is crap, that you don't notice how your behaviour affects those around you.
Has he been dia... (read in full...)
His comments really pissed me off!
Q. What would you say to this? On getting up this morning i put on my lovely black silk dressing gown over my gorgeous black lace cami and matching knickers. Granted some cleavage was showing (so what!). My other half turned around and after he took ...
A. 7 March 2009: Wow! does he tend to put you down, or have you caught him on a bad day?
Is he particularly stressed at work, or has he got some other reason for acting this way?
... (read in full...)
Best friend and I have fallen out
Q. me and my best friend have fallen out. He has fell out with me. Ill explain the story.. He always annoys me and like punches me and stuff.. prods me and just gets on my nerves and I said to him.. one day you'll get what you deserve. and he was ...
A. 7 March 2009: He sounds a bit mental! I would be friends with some one like that, your right he does deserve a kicking and I normally don't encourage that kind of thing.
Delete his number, don't even acknowledge his existence this guy has potential to turn in ... (read in full...)
Husband has no fashion sense and doesn't care
Q. I'm 26 and my husband's 29, and we've got a 5-year-old son who's in primary school now. We've been together for 4 years and married for 2 years. My husband used to dress well but now he puts no effort into getting dressed. I'm not saying he can't ...
A. 7 March 2009: Sorry I missed out the underwear thing! That is just wrong on so many levels, go out buy new ones and incinerate the lot! Stand back though the air freshener will burn well!... (read in full...)
Husband has no fashion sense and doesn't care
Q. I'm 26 and my husband's 29, and we've got a 5-year-old son who's in primary school now. We've been together for 4 years and married for 2 years. My husband used to dress well but now he puts no effort into getting dressed. I'm not saying he can't ...
A. 7 March 2009: Are you honestly afraid of people teasing him? He's 29 years old and can make up his own mind, I'm sure if his mates teased him he'd have a change of heart.
If he's happy with the way he dresses and you talking to him about it hasn't helped, ... (read in full...)
I'm not desperate, but I would like to be more proactive in the dating world!
Q. i don't know what i'm doing wrong in the dating game! i'm 19, and i can honestly say i've never had a proper boyfriend! on the plus size: i'm clever, fun, honest, caring with a good sense of humour. and my issues are: i'm a bit overweight (but...
A. 7 March 2009: Have you tried joining any clubs that interest you, there are loads out there where you can meet like minded people.
Don't get too obsessed with going looking, I don't know why but it shows, if you just have a good time and get on with life you... (read in full...)
Would a plaser cast put you guys off a girl?
Q. one for the men... i (have been lead to) beleive that i am a fairly attractive woman and men get on with men really well, i'm currently single though :-( ,in a couple of months i am going to have to have a couple of operations to stabilise my knee ...
A. 7 March 2009: No not at all, in fact it would make you really stand out from the crowd.... (read in full...)
Like me? or just trying to get into my pants?
Q. Ok, So I like one of my guy friends. He supposedly likes me back..but i don't believe him. Well we've been making out for almost 2 months now.. this week we went a little too far. He showed me his penis and he touched my boobs. The touching happens ...
A. 7 March 2009: He's a teenage boy, he wants sex with any girl he can, and if he has forced you into other things he has realised that you can probably be pushed into sex too!... (read in full...)
Should I wash my hands after someone very poor touches me?
Q. I'm from the Philippines and I have a moral issue... I like to help the poor, give them alms and stuff they need... but am I being a bad person if I immediately wash my hands after they touch me? I'm very confused....
A. 7 March 2009: In a medical opinion I wash my hands all the time before and after touching anybody no matter what the background.
Regular hand washing should be a habit that everyone should take up as it would reduce the spread of disease by at least half.... (read in full...)
How to be a woman player
Q. I need to know how to be a woman "player" - you know, just like some men are players. Does it mean that the woman does the same thing back to him that he does to her? For example, there's this guy at work who has a g/f but he gets jealous when he ...
A. 7 March 2009: Don't lower your standards to his. I'm sure he's played around a lot so messing him around won't affect him at all as not committed to you.
You can not hurt a guy if he's a player as the attention you give him will boost his ego, then when you... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? For him getting fired?
Q. Im 17 and im having an issue. alot of people think im over reacting but i dont think i am. My school hasnt been doing back round checks on hall monitors and janitors because it takes to long and it is to expensive. One of the hall monitors that ...
A. 7 March 2009: I don't disagree with any of your other answers but I'm going to play devils advocate here, a guy gets sacked because of a background check and is VERY friendly with a young student who he call beautiful.
Did you actually see the report that sai... (read in full...)
Desperate to have a baby and willing to have sex with anyone to get one
Q. I have a problem, and would love to get some advice/help with it. Thanks!! Okay! I'm single and want a baby so badly that I'm willing to have sex with anyone and then be a single parent. The only problem is, I don't want'a deal with the pa...
A. 7 March 2009: Adoption!... (read in full...)
Can my husband investigate into my computer?
Q. Hi, I'm going on a trip, and would like to know if my husband can get into my computer to find sites I've been on. I have a password and erased my history, but can he bypass it all to find out everything? I once saw a show about computer forensi...
A. 6 March 2009: Speaking of GOD, do you remember the marriage vows you made to your husband, that promise you made in front of your family, friends and God.
I'm not particularly religious, but some things may be between you and God but do you really have that lit... (read in full...)
Will a threadworm tablet stop my pill from working?
Q. Hey aunts please help! I started taking the contraceptive pill (microgynon 30) on Tuesday for the first time ever! I started on the first day of my period, and I've read the information leaflet about 4 times, the doctor told me and the leaflet ...
A. 6 March 2009: I've just looked this up in the British National Formulary (BNF Geeky medics drug bible) and from what I can tell there is no interactions between Microgynon and any of the threadworm treatments. The tablets you have to be concerned with are mainly ... (read in full...)
My best mate's cousin!
Q. I met this guy a few months ago, he's my best mate's cousin and it was her 18th. Anyway so we made out and I speak to him daily since then and seen him a few times. He know's I like him and I think he likes me to but I'm not sure. He had a ...
A. 6 March 2009: Cheating is still cheating. You need to be strong enough to say it's her or me! How would you feel if you had a boyfriend that cheated on you? If you ever got in a relationship with this guy would you trust him, he's cheated with you so why wouldn't ... (read in full...)
What's your opinion on her telling me not to have sex?
Q. My ex girlfriend and I dated for about a year but never had sex. We were in a long distance relationship the last few months and she told me she wanted her first time to be with me... Unfortunately we broke up before we got to see each other again. ...
A. 6 March 2009: Move on find someone who loves you. She sounds bitter and at the end of the day she is your EX! Who cares if she gets mad, so it's fine to see other people, but not fine for you to sleep with them. I think this girl needs to grow up and realise that ... (read in full...)
Now what do I do, after shaving?
Q. Right so i shaved my pubes, all of them, on an impulse and theyre starting to grow back....should i carry on with shaving? wax it? or wait for it to grow back and just go with the bikini line or the triangle thing? ...
A. 6 March 2009: Can you do us all a favour and just add to your original post instead of asking the same question 3 times!
Do what ever feels most comfortable, experiment and find out what you like.
... (read in full...)
Can my husband investigate into my computer?
Q. Hi, I'm going on a trip, and would like to know if my husband can get into my computer to find sites I've been on. I have a password and erased my history, but can he bypass it all to find out everything? I once saw a show about computer forensi...
A. 6 March 2009: What are you hiding from him, surely you can't feel this guilty and worry about an invasion of privacy without feeling guilty for something.
Maybe you should address the trust issues and whatever you are hiding, more than the fact he's could if... (read in full...)
Completely confused...Who's to blame?
Q. I have been dating an older guy for about 7 months now. He is 37 and I am 22 but somehow mentally, I think we meet each other in the middle at 30 lol. Things were going great between us. We love each other and have talked about marriage in the near ...
A. 6 March 2009: I have read your post through. This guy sounds dodgy as hell! I totally agree with you splitting up with him over his terrible behaviour.
He is not calling you because he already had a plan B, C and probably D. If he has been in contact with all... (read in full...)
At times I find myself hating her... should I call it a day with her?
Q. I have been with my girl 6 years on and off. From the start she has hidden things like texting ex's(denied for 1 year until he told me), joining dating sites, calling me by the wrong name, phone calls from males and then lies as she's unaware I'm ...
A. 6 March 2009: Yeah time for her to go and don't listen to any of the emotional blackmail that will follow! You'll be amazed how much happier you will be by cutting contact with her.... (read in full...)
Help with shaving needed...
Q. I'm confused, what parts of my pubes should I be shaving??? I've never shaved them before and I don't know where to start! Please help....
A. 6 March 2009: Go somewhere that does waxing and ask for your bikini line to be done. Once it's done, just shave or tweeze that area, everywhere else just give a trim to keep it neat!... (read in full...)
Ouch!!! I'm now regretting shaving my pubes!
Q. I've recently shaved my pubes and now am starting to think I made a mistake. Did I? If so, what can I do to rectify this? Obviously wait for it to grow back but how long will that take? and what style should I opt for instead? help!!! ...
A. 6 March 2009: There's other options open to you but it is sensitive down there so some products you'll have to check it's safe.
Some the options are, waxing, hair removal cream, tweezing, eppilating (I'm sure that's not how it's spelt), laser hair removal ... (read in full...)
She wants to elope!!!
Q. I have been with with my girlfreind for four months, we planned a trip to Jamaica and she has been talking about eloping after we get there, she went online and even looked up everything we have to do and how long we have to be on the island before ...
A. 6 March 2009: How can we tell from one paragraph if she loves you or just wants to marry you for the money? Four months isn't very long to decide to get married, in fact that's a very short engagement.
Have you guys told each other how you feel properly... (read in full...)
It doesn't seem to matter what he does or how much he makes me hurt inside, I don't seem to be able to get over him...
Q. Hi, I have had a massive crush on a friend of mine for years and last year on valentines day I told him how I felt but he blew me off. Ever since then he's been using me to get things. I know he is using me and that he doesn't like me in that way ...
A. 6 March 2009: You just have to be strong and cut all contact with him. He is not going to be your friend and is going to use his control over you to get away with hurting you.
This boy sounds like bad news and has the makings of an abusive man. Leave him alon... (read in full...)
My husband seems far too cosy with his boss for my liking!
Q. I have become worried about my husband. He's spending far too much time with his boss. I know it isn't to get a promotion, as my husband's been promoted, and it certainly isn't in meetings either. I only know of this because my brother [he's 20...
A. 6 March 2009: OK when I read the title I thought his boss was a woman, but your husband has made a friend! Wow I really would be worried about that!(sigh)
I do not approve that he called you a controlling little bitch, I think that is out of order, but he h... (read in full...)
Is it okay we're dating and we're third cousins?
Q. I'm curretnly living with and dating my third cousin. A lot of people seem to be against it, I even think he double guesses it sometimes, what should I do?...
A. 6 March 2009: Third cousins so that would be your great grandparents, siblings child or do you mean your cousins, cousin?
Either way I don't think it's illegal and with that much distance between gene pools you shouldn't have to worry about webbed footed b... (read in full...)
It bothers me that my b/f goes out only the times I can't accompany him, what can I do?
Q. I have a new job and I work shifts and it involves me working till about 9-10 at night sometimes. My boyfriend has been planning lots of big nights out with just his boy mates specifically on the nights that i am working late. I dont mind him going ...
A. 6 March 2009: Tell him to grow up! If he can go out when he likes so can you. If he doesn't like it he can have all the time he likes with his mates, being single!... (read in full...)
Tired of using hands, what else can I use?
Q. Hey iam 19 and as most guys I enjoy masturbation but iam sick of using my hands I want to use something new but I dnt know wat to use does anyone here kno wat I could use...
A. 6 March 2009: I agree with q1605, time to find a girlfriend, if you are getting bored of masturbating it's a sure sign you are doing far too much!... (read in full...)
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