A
female
age
26-29,
*TheAlmightyDuckx
writes:Its probably a bad idea to ask for advice on this subject but I'll give it a go. I know its silly but I would like some opinions. I am going to be 18 in a couple of months and about 3 weeks a go something really weird happened. I'll give you a bit of back story but I'll try and make it short. As a teenage girl I have never had a lot of relationships or sexual partners, which I guess in hind sight is a good thing. However my longest relationship which lasted 9 months happened a couple of years back. We met at highschool, he was one year older than me, and what was supposed to be one of them cute little lovely teenage relationships was awful. It started off okay, but at the time we both had underlying issues. I had severe anxiety which would render me house bound a lot of the time, he was autistic, not major-ally, but I guess it affected him more than I realized. He was also a chronic liar, he had family problems, and had created this fake persona which covered up what he was really like, this silly teenage fling turned into assault, manipulation and restraining orders. I then got with another guy not long after (being young and stupid an all) and this time I landed myself with a chronic cheater who was pretty much just as bad as the first one. I was also harassed by the first boyfriend for a very long time, every few months he would find me on facebook attempt to add me, if I blocked him or rejected his requests, he would make new accounts, ring me or spread malicious rumours, eventually the best option was to just talk to him, turn him down when he would rant on about us being together and then wait for it to happen again. After all of this hassle at a young age, the thoughts of another relationship made me feel ill. I hated the thought of it, and resorted to simply being happy single, and for almost two years now I have been very happily single, and not had one problem with it. I have also choosen to not have sex with anyone either, as that also makes me feel slightly ill. But a few weeks ago, I was walking down town, and I bumped into boyfriend number 1...and tbh I couldn't believe it. He looked so different, attractive even, and he had a pretty looking girlfriend by his side, which made me really happy in a way, as I was glad he wouldn't be contacting me any more and I was "free" kinda. However a day later it opened up something else, something that I can't really explain. After almost two years of being single and not even really getting a second look off a guy or feeling anything for anyone in that way, I felt really really lonely. I feel like everyone else has moved on, has gone out there and found someone and then there is little old me, with no one really apart from my cats. It made me really emotional, and the feeling still hasn't gone away. I do really want someone to be with me, as I miss being appreciated really, but at the same time I feel like no one is really going to "get" me, as I am not an average girl, I don't fit into any groups, I don't fit any stereotypes, I don't have any defined fashion sense, I don't have a set group of friends or anything which I normally have in common with another guy, I don't even have any male friends or any way of meeting other males. Also my social class makes things really tricky. I am very poor, my family are very poor, to be honest from day dot my future expectations from people out of my family (and some in it) were very low due to me being a product of teen pregnancy. Yet in education wise I have beaten every statistic and not being cocky but my intelligence is astounding, considering the lack of resources I have. I managed to get an A* in a GCSE with 26% attendance throughout my entire academic highschool life and all in all I am considered as a bit of an oddity, which I guess is why I just can't find anyone who matches my tastes or boys just choose stay away from me. And the weird thing is, atm things in life are going great, my mental health problems are all but vanished, I have a good amount of friends and family, I have lost a lot of weight and love exercise and college is going better than it ever has before...but I still feel so empty and just a bit emotionality weak because after two years I am no longer happy with being single, so my overall question is...why have I started to feel like this? And is it true that life is just moving on without me? And if I did want to go and meet someone how would I do it? How would I even try and find someone who can deal with an "oddity"? All advice welcome.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2014): Why are other teenagers so happy? That's because they allow themselves to be.
You can't always see just ugliness in people. You can't believe everything they say about you either. I don't believe anyone has the right to tell you that you're odd. From your description of your town and it's people, who has the right to?
As you get older, you will have more freedom to travel and get away from your old surroundings. You didn't understand what I meant about going through a lot. Your youth is why the damage from traumatic experiences have such a powerful impact on how you feel. You aren't old enough to absorb the shock and handle so much trauma. You talk about it as well as someone your age can. You don't have the abilities, capabilities, and experience of an older more formerly-educated person. You're still growing and learning. You offer the teenage-perspective from a person who has experienced some hurtful things as a teenager.
You can only pack so much into 18 years. It will take that much longer to gain experience and realize how much of it is pretty general for most people. You aren't the only teenager who has seen or done what you have. What about the others living in your town? They can tell horror stories too. You share the same geography, and experiences as all the other teenagers you've grown up with. You will not convince me they're all cruel, stupid, or miserable. Nor that your experiences are worse than theirs are. Or that they can't articulate what they've been through, or going through, just as well as you can. You've decided to write and help others. That's what makes you unique. Maybe odd, to some. Odd isn't bad. It means different form all others.
You're still human. If you want odd to mean something bad, I guess that's up to you.
You didn't understand what I meant about the children going through the horrors of war and disease,etc.
I have traveled, and actually seen these children laughing and at play in the most destitute situations. In-spite of their surroundings, they still have to live. Not everyone has the same mental or physical challenges to deal with. We all approach life and survive based on our abilities; and the best way be can. You can't appreciate life, until you live it. Some people spend more time complaining about life, than living it. They never feel blessed, or grateful. Small blessings add-up. I'm grateful for life. I've lost both my parents, three sisters, and my partner of 28years.
Age doesn't matter when it comes to grief and loss. It is scientifically proven, someone your age would be more resilient than someone my age. As natures has intended, we process things differently. As you will learn as time passes.
You are a middle-aged woman in a teenage-girl's body. Eighteen going on 35!!! Trying to take on more than you should. Unfairly criticizing other youngsters your own age; because you've formed resentment for their taunting and inexcusable cruelties. Well, we live-on in spite of other people. You have a place and a purpose. You have an advantage over the other kids, because you are special. That's what's odd to them. You have extraordinary potential yet to be discovered. You are self-aware, and destined to find out just how very special and wonderful of a woman you are, and will be.
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (8 October 2014):
xTheAlmightyDuckx is verified as being by the original poster of the question The reason I place things at odd with myself is because for a very long time I have been made to feel like I am odd, from others. And I am not just talking about people who are my age, but family members, teachers just anyone really. And I know from studying sociology, that if you are called something enough, eventually you will either become it or believe it. I am always convinced in every situation that the problem always comes back to me, and thats just because thats what people have told me in the past. And what I meant by smart is that I am worldly experienced..well with others anyway. I am not comparing my experience to those children who have been through such awful things, but I was made to go through a lot from a very young age. In the last 4 years I've lost 6 family members, countless amounts of friends and in my world been through hell and back. If most people have some kind of problem I can help them, give advice try my best to be there, but when it comes to me I am out of answers. And I agree getting older will of course give me more understanding, but I have had to learn since I was 13 how to just get on with it, and that is all I have done. I do hope I'll feel more in-sync, I really do, because I hate it here, I've never got to leave the country or travel away from here and I'd love it, just so I could see the things I see on the internet and in books. And meet people who might be a bit like me. I know that dating isn't perfect, you have to try people if you like to see who you would go best with, but what I am trying to say is I only attract one type of person it seems. The manupilitive type, the ones who try and make you believe something which isn't there. I have spent so long doing the whole self improvement thing, I've reached a place where I am happy, I've tried to shape myself into a person that I like, and I have almost managed to get there, but it still feels like it isn't enough. Everytime I improve something or change something I don't feel any pride, I don't feel much happiness, and if I do it doesn't last long until I find another thing that needs to change. Believe or not but I actually have been happy in the last few months, but I am my happiest when I am indoors away from people, I am content, because I am not reminded of what I don't have. But even when I am happy it seems as soon as it comes to other people I blend into the background. Not many people ever pay me too much of an interest, even if I put those people before myself. And I do know how to make friends, I have managed to make friends. A year a go I knew so many people that, people would say how much of a great person I was and I wouldn't even be able to remember there names. However most of them proved to kinda be not very nice people so I distanced myself from them until they just left pretty much, in all fairness none of them contacted me or anything so I just came to the conclusion they didn't care too much, which was fine by me. And I HATE special treatment, I like to be treated like anyone else, and I can take it, but trust me, I am so kind to others, maybe a bit to much, I can't actually remember the last time I was nasty to someone, or called somebody something. I don't treat people inferior to me because they ain't my kind of people, I believe that everyone should be equal, no matter what. And I do treat people how I would want to be treated. I have always been hypersensitive, and aware of my surronding's I feel like I have to be, I don't know why, probably because of all the times that I've just been attacked out of no where, mainly verbally but I have to know where everything is. As for him, I didn't get a restraining order against him. I tried but didn't have enough evidence. I got a part time one, while he was on bail for punching me in public, but like how wonderful the good British Police force are, he got let off with no charge. And I know I am no expert, but the one thing I don't understand is why are other teenagers able to enjoy being young and I can't? Why can they seemingly attract whoeevr they want and live life with no cares and I cannot? And I know I am not always right, criticism is fine with me. But for example referring back to the girl in question, its obvious she doesn't like me. She scowls at me throughout my lessons because I started sitting in her seat because she doesn't turn up. I can tell the difference between criticism, and general bitchiness. I am not speaking for the whole town, but I live in the most culturally deprived area in all of Britain. There is no diversity here. Also this town is in poverty, and my town, despite it being a nice seaside town is anything but. All of the highschools and colleges are under severe warning due to the education standards being too low, the towns shop constantly shut because there is no business, the heroin ring around here is huge, the teenage pregnancy rate is through the roof and for some reason a lot of ex-prisoners are sent here and are able to do what ever they want with no one battering an eye lid, I mean there is even an ex-paedophile who has recently opened a childs Cafe...so you can imagine intelligence, kindness and all of them other qualities that I would love to find in someone, ANYONE even, Don't really exist here, so what am I actually meant to do? This is why I feel so lost, because its like every door I'd like to go through is shut, every person i'd like to meet doesn't come to the kinda places where I live. And I just constantly feel like there are no solution, just dead ends, and I've had enough of always receiving the short straw, when it comes to almost everything and when I do try and be nice and kind, its abused, and I'd just love someone nice to stand by me, but it doesn't happen. I don't even know where else to turn.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2014): You can attribute many things you feel to being very young. You just haven't been on this planet that long, and a lot of your views and observations in these posts seem to place things at odds with yourself.
Maturity and experience will bring more clarity and understanding. Being smart isn't equivalent to being worldly and experienced. One comes with time and overcoming a series of challenges through life over an extended period. There are children younger than you in the world, who have seen war, starvation, epidemics, extreme poverty, tidal waves, and unimaginable violence. They are still children, and maintain their youthful innocence in-spite of all the horrible exposure. They can "tell" of all their terrible experiences; but they are not old enough yet to analyze the dept of those experiences. They only know the painful effects they suffer. If they survive, they will grow to understand how to live on; in-spite of all these setbacks and obstacles. Just as they're parents have.
As you age and mature, you'll feel more in-sync with people and your surroundings. You're at the age when it's like you're on the outside looking into the world, and it's a little difficult figuring out where you actually fit into things. There is nothing new under the sun. If you live in a small town, you don't get to see that many varieties of people; and you certainly may not find many like yourself.
You are still at the age of finding yourself; so you don't really know who is really best for your personality. That has yet to be determined, because your personality is still growing, developing, and changing as you get older and reaching full-adulthood.
Dating is a series of trial romances. Couples test our compatibility and learn if we can function in harmony with each other. We form emotional-attachments when the chemistry is there. It may take many trials to reach the right one. The gaps in between being with a mate are for our own good. It is the time for self-improvement. Healing our wounds. Reviewing the things we've learned from our past mistakes. Analyzing what we've learned from the ex-partnerships we formed. Tweaking our own faults and weaknesses. Most importantly, becoming independent and learning to be our own friend. Add all this up, and use all this to form friendships for companionship and to form support-systems. It's not always about being somebody's other half. You are meant to be whole. Always.
You don't deserve a girlfriend or boyfriend, if you don't know how to make friends. Perfect that skill, and finding dates is a breeze. In fact, it takes the same skills to find a date. The only difference is the purpose.
You need to concentrate on education, learning how to interact with people, hone your interpersonal skills, and demonstrate your ability to effectively communicate and comprehend. You also have to learn to accept others who don't quite fit your preferred checklist.
I pass this on to you, and other readers who may be under therapy. It is not meant to offend you. Your diagnosis for any insecurity or disorder is no excuse; nor a ticket to always feel you deserve special treatment. No one should getaway with being critical of everyone you're not particularly crazy about. If you can dish it, you gotta take it. People don't care if you're in therapy, all they know is how you behave around them, and how you treat them. If they don't know you, they will treat you like they'd treat anyone else. That's how you want to be treated. Like anyone else.
You seem hypersensitive and highly aware of your surroundings. I think that comes from some old trauma/abuse, the challenges you face as a student and young adult; and the random threats you suffered from boyfriend #1. You actually had to get a restraining order, and you did mention things he still does to bother you. I also think much of your feelings of loneliness and unusual observations about other people; culminates from trying too hard to know more than your chronological-age allows you to. You cannot rush time, and somethings you're not going to understand until you are old enough to, and that's when the most complicated and confusing lessons you've learned will apply. Going through a lot, doesn't mean you become an expert on things either.
The thing about your blouse being too low; you may have taken that negatively, and not the way it was intended. Every-time someone says something critical doesn't mean it isn't true; or is said out of jealousy or cruelty. Just because you took it that way, doesn't always mean it was intended that way. All humans are capable of overreacting. You sometimes have to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and not be quick to categorize people in a negative way. That's a little snobbish. The world is not out to attack and destroy us; because we're not perfect.
Challenges come and go, because that's how life is. These obstacles keep us fit and in-shape. Only the strong survive.
Sometimes we make mistakes and if people notice them, they may speak up. Criticism can be positive or negative, sometimes both at the same time. As we get older, we grow a thicker skin; and negative criticism doesn't have the devastating effect it once had when we were much younger. We learn to use it to monitor ourselves and those around us. If people can't be honest and voice their opinions freely with us, then that's our problem. Not theirs.
Criticism teaches us how to read the human-climate, and environment around us; so we know how to adapt ourselves to the kind of person (or group of people) we are dealing with. Fight or flee is a natural instinct, but it takes time and experience to know which is appropriate to the situation at hand.
You're not always right, and you're not perfect, and criticism isn't always bad. If you have anxiety issues, then sometimes interaction with others may be a little off or traumatizing. Therefore; your reaction to certain remarks may be inappropriate. It is not fair to assume the majority of people are weird, cruel, or your potential enemy; because they are different from you. Or, the type of people you like!
You say you want to meet a nice freak. Looking for offbeat personalities can be tricky. That's why you run into weirdos and creeps; but be careful that you're not being as judgmental and critical of others as you yourself don't feel comfortable about. Perhaps you should look for more general good qualities most people have, including yourself.
Give yourself time to mature, and try to be open-minded.
If you're looking for odd-ball personalities; because you think you'd be more comfortable with someone like that, you may be looking for the wrong type. What you're really saying is you want to meet someone with a lot of flaws (or oddness) so you'd be more comfortable being yourself. Everyone has quirks and flaws. Too many is unhealthy. Your self-assessment may be off or flat-out wrong, and you're not as odd as you think you are. Then you end-up having a negative opinion of someone you hand-picked yourself.
Look for intelligence, kindness, open-mindedness, and an adventurous-spirit in a guy. That is more well-rounded and adaptable to all personalities. He will not mind your quirks, and you can be yourself without feeling he's going to dwell on your faults or flaws. Stop searching for odd people. Look for good people. Both in friendships, and when searching for someone as a romantic partner. Quirks are guaranteed! You'll never find anyone without them!
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reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (8 October 2014):
xTheAlmightyDuckx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello! Thanks for all of your advice :) Its been very helpful but I guess I should just clear some things up a little bit. I do agree with you, I probably have been giving off the whole I want to be single vibe, but there have been one or two times in these two years where I thought I'd give the dating thing a go...and not to be nasty or nothing but in those very short few weeks, the only guys I attracted were those with really bad learning needs and weirdos. I guess part of seeing my ex which made me feel like crap, was just the fact that in my eyes, he is a bad person, he hasn't just treated me like crap, but has done a lot of other things since then, to other people which was just disgusting..and I suppose part of me said "how come he can get with someone, but I can't?" and I guess that is what makes me feel really shit about myself. Part of the reason why I didn't enter into any more relationships, was because I was afraid, I was really afraid of another guy taking away my freedom. I did get close to someone about 4 months after boyfriend number 2, but I just couldn't do it, because I felt like he was going to take away my freedom, and I suppose thats a big reason why I didn't want to date. I also have a really big problem when it comes to saying no to people, and I don't know how girls actually turn guys down without seeming like mega bitches. I guess I do attract guys...but they all seem to have something wrong with them, or they are just nasty to the core it seems like I can't win. However at the same time, most peoples normal idea of a relationship is my idea of a horror story...I want someone different, I'd like a bit of a freak if I am perfectly honest, but it'd be nice to have a nice freak not one who's just a general low life. Life is good though! You are right it is wonderful, and as self esteem goes I am doing good, but it seems just when I am feeling great about myself someone decides that they don't like it. I constantly feel uncomfortable because when I am at college for example I feel like everyone is looking at me, one girl yesterday even commented on how low my top was, and honestly it wasn't that low, I just thought it might of been down to jealously, but even though I tried to tell myself it didn't bother me, I spent the rest of the day pulling my top up. I don't know :/ I've just noticed that a lot of other girls seem to have like this spark in there eye which I don't have, and to be honest I don't get a long with guys my age at all, they all bore me and seem materialistic, they don't keep my mentally stimulated enough. Also approaching men is so much harder than it sounds. I can't approach anyone. For my first two weeks at college I spent the whole time sat on my own because I was too scared and didn't have the confidence to go up and speak to anyone. I don't know...I guess I will figure it out. But as for my friendship circles expanding they haven't done so for a very long time, I only have 2 friends I see on a regular basis, I live in a small seaside town so new comers are hard to come by. I guess i'm not a very sociable person. I have thought of joining a dating site, I have done before. However every time I have joined one I have gone ahead and left a few days after as I have felt silly. I also have no idea how to react when someone calls me hot or something which makes things awkward, and I also have no idea how to turn people down or just simply say no...if anyone could help me out with that I'd be very greatful. Also do you think the dating site thing is a good idea or not? I do have a confident side inside on me, I've wanted to let it out for ages. But I haven't out of fear of being to much, too full on or attracting bitchy comments from people I don't like or just feeling out of place....Should I maybe start to embrace it instead of ignore it? Thanks guys once again.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 October 2014):
 I am different from you in that whenever a relationship ends I feel like it's because I am an oddity. Not when I want to start a new relationship. I've ever dated or interested in men who are not neuro-typical. Like having ADHD, anxiety, schizophrenia or being androgynous. Oh, 3 of them were lefties too. School is not friendly for oddities. As you go into the real world you will find that your talents are more appreciated. You will see more oddities from your alumni and be surprised they acted normal in school.
These two years you have focused on yourself and your mental health. You convinced yourself you don't need a relationship and you can be happy being single. You made an adjustment although deep down you really want to experience love. Your ex is an oddity as well, seeing him in a relationship makes you feel that you should be able to find one yourself too. If he's autistic and has no problems finding a girlfriend, you shouldn't have a problem either. Your life is cleaner than his and you have no bad habits. Before looking for boyfriends, you first have to find out what you have to offer to a man. Assert your identity because it is more than just you being different. Imagine if a man asks you why he should be with you, you should be able to answer that quickly. You start by noting your favorite part of yourself. It can be a body part or a personality part. Then slowly you add more things that you love about yourself. In your post you are so self effacing. Even getting an A is not to be proud about. It sounds like an accident or you being odd. Maybe school and reality TV made you think that to have someone love you, you need to have class, average intelligence, swag, be into trends and fashion. Reality is so different than reality TV. You don't have a role model teaching you how to attract and maintain love.
There may be some exaggeration or contradiction in what you were describing. You said you were focusing on yourself and being single, and then you said boys stayed away from you. Perhaps they got the vibe from you that you weren't really open to relationships. It was just up until you saw your ex that you felt like you wanted a relationship. So right now you can act like you want a relationship. Walk confident and practice smiling. Approach boys you like and start to care about what they are doing. I don't know how you met your ex. You would probably meet someone new the similar way.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (7 October 2014):
You are without doubt very intelligent. Your writing and the contributions you make to this site, without wishing to sound patronising, have a mature character that people significantly older than you would struggle to find. Make no mistake: being single can be great, but no-one ever said it was easy. Did you ever have moments when in a relationship where you thought life would be better if you could just be by yourself? The fact is everyone has the odd moment where the grass looks so much greener on the other side. The good thing is that you’re not settling for any relationship for the sake of having a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you stopped wanting a relationship, or hoping for one. Seeing your ex has brought that to the surface and it’s only natural that this will be painful for a while. I think you should take heart though: you feel this way because you have shifted so much in your understanding. Your younger self took those bad experiences and used them to justify a generalised opinion about relationships, which you decided you were better off without. Now, however, you have learned to see people as individuals, and to see that relationships are as varied, different and inconsistent as the people in them. This means you now have a less black and white view of the world, and a sense of wanting to find the right person, and so you are positioned ultimately to have better expectations, to not settle for as little as you did before, and to attract the right person.
As you get older your social circle will widen, whatever your plans. Essentially, meeting as many different people as you can, particularly those who share your interests, will give you the best chance of meeting some-one suitable. In the meantime, it will help you to grow in confidence. Your self-perception is very negative, you describe all the ways you don’t fit in and are different, as though that’s such a bad thing. I’m sure you will find it hard to believe those who say that you should be yourself and not to worry about it, because it’s easy to see the irrationality of some-one else’s insecurities, and hard to apply the same logic to our own. Just try to trust them.
So although you are rocked by the reappearance of your ex and going through an anxious time of questioning some of your previous judgements and decisions, this is a sign of your growing and maturing as a person, and I think you should try to focus on that as an encouraging outcome to help you get through this.
I wish you all the very best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2014): Hello there my dear!
I can relate to the feelings you described. I got dumped over a year ago, and struggled my way back to get over it. I purged my home of any reminders of my ex, I went 100% no contact, and I stepped up all my favorite activities; and boosted my social-life. I attended plays with my friends and enjoyed social events to keep me entertained.
Life is good!
Then out of the blue, a friend of mine calls me; and says he saw my ex with some new guy. I have purged this guy completely out of my life, mind you. I didn't need to hear this! My friend was on vacation over a thousand miles away, and ran into my ex who he says looked like a "deer in headlights." He introduced this new guy as his "boyfriend."
I was over him, but don't know why it bothered me; but it did. I felt my heart sink, in realizing he was over me too!
Part of moving on is facing encounters with people we broke-up with; and closed out of our lives. There is always a tiny bit of residual feelings left in us for these people; because we loved them once upon a time.
I'm much older than you, so our connection was on a different level and much more complicated. Long before I met my ex, I was in a 28 year-relationship that ended when my partner passed away. I went another several years without a relationship; before meeting the guy who dumped me. We only lasted 10 months, but I actually felt something for him.
News that he had met someone already did hurt. It shouldn't have, if I were completely over him. What you and I felt is human. It was a reminder of the pain we felt when we parted. Like picking at a old sore. The grief hits us again.
Although they move far to the back of our minds, we still feel a twinge for them every now and then. Unless you get amnesia, you will always remember him. He left you with scars! My ex broke-up while everything was still great between us. We didn't even have a fight or disagreement!
Go figure! Maybe he met that guy back then. Who cares!
Seeing him again will make you look back on your feelings, and it will remind you that you're alone. That will pass.
I'm glad to hear you're doing so well, that reinforces the fact you're healthy enough to get through this tiny setback. You'll be all the stronger when you do. I am.
Don't give him anymore power over your feelings. Wash all thoughts of him out of your mind by remembering how awful being with him was, and also celebrate he's another poor girl's problem now. He has no excuse to bother you anymore.
Be glad that he looks better and found someone who may be the reason. That will even make you feel better. I came to the conclusion, that if it wasn't for my ex; my feelings would still be shutoff, and I'd never let anyone in after my partner died. He reactivated my dormant feelings and made me capable of loving again. Your ex taught you how to avoid guys that were not good for you. How to survive and move on as a stronger person.
Let's celebrate what they did for us, and the fact they are now gone for good!
You are just having a little flashback that passes just like a rainstorm. The dark clouds part, and the sun comes out again. Then you just keep going. I met someone back in May, and it is still going well. So had I given up hope, I'd still let my old boyfriend bring me down; and that would have made me miserable the whole time. Do the same. Don't let what he did to hurt you, overpower what he has done to make you better and stronger. Your survived, and you're still here to talk about it. It is a good coping exercise for the mind. It will allow you to spring back to where you were before he crossed your path. it's a small world, hard not to run into them. Just as we met in the past, we are likely to cross paths again! It will not bother you as much the next time. He just gave you a booster-shot to get over him altogether!
You're not an oddity, you are unique. Special in your own way. You have survived and conquered much in your very short time on this earth. There are people much older who haven't come out as well as you have. Be ever mindful of that my dear girl. Never give people power to take away your joy. Never allow what makes you different make you feel bad. It is what sets you apart from "ordinary" people.
Feel blessed!
Someone will walk into you life just like they did for me. You're too young for that not to happen! It happened when I wasn't even thinking about it. I looked up one day while shopping for garden plants, and someone smiled at me. I've seen that smiling face many times since that day!
Good luck!
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