A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently I met a man a camp we both volunteered at. Early on we found ourselves chatting and having a great time. A friend invited is for drinks and we bonded even more. Completely out of no where we ended up sleeping together which was so out of character for both of us but we had a lot of fun. For the remainder of the camp we continued to bond and realized that maybe we were growing interest in each other and decided not to have anymore spontaneous sex. As we've gotten to know each other I'm really beginning to develop feelings for him. The challenging part, we are in very different times in our lives. I'm still finishing college and he already has a full time career. I dated a man 10 years older than me that was attending the same school as me before and we had a great relationship for that time in our lives so age difference doesn't really bother me. I want to continue getting to know this awesome camp guy but I'm not sure how to go about it considering he has his life already established. Any advice? I'm willing to hear anything like you should just be friends or wait until after college but more honesty, experiences and opinions would be greatly appreciated! He and I really connect on many levels and I'm always learning from him. His love of learning and his whole presence really inspires me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (11 August 2014):
 Oh...well maybe he wasn't as great as he made out :/ Sorry to hear that, try and keep your head held high anyway :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, followup. I'm a bit disappointed. He sort of disappeared and has stopped conversing with me. Not sure where this came from but I guess that's that! :(
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (9 August 2014):
I personally think you two sound like a good match :) And i'm glad you decided not to have anymore sex, as you don't want to make the same mistake as many others and end up just having a relationship based on sex.
Its also good you have dated an older guy before, as sometimes the sudden age gap can be a real big shock for people.
Now, of course, college should come first, I personally would say that if you did want to have a relationship during college then it would be okay, but of course he has got to understand you might not be able to spend as much time with one and other.
Secondly, if you did get with him, things would be a LOT different. He has a full time career, they take up a lot of time, he might not always have time for you, and thats something you would have to accept and not take personally. Also (you didn't actually say how old the guy was) I am assuming he is older than you which will probably mean he has maturer tastes, (you probably know this from dating a guy 10 years older) so for instance you might wanna go out partying, he might want to go for a relaxing dinner, you might wanna listen to modern music, he might want to read a book etc. These are of course just examples, I am not saying that all older people are boring but you may be very different in tastes, interests etc.
So basically if you think you could handle college, his full time career, lack of time (if its a really demanding job), different tastes and him already having a life set up, while you are just getting ready to start yours, then go for it!
Give him your number, tell him after camp you'd love to get to know him some more, go on a couple of dates and see how it goes from there :) Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, Lonely 81  +, writes (9 August 2014):
I can't think of any good reason why you shouldn't continue getting to know each other. But if you are worried your study might suffer Maybe just keep it light for now. Really though, a good relationship should bring out the best in you both. I say go for it!
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