A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Right, hi everyone. :) So I'm hoping to throw this out there and see if I'm overreacting. The other day I started chatting with a guy online and we seemed to hit it off. We exchanged numbers and the next day we decided - quite spontaneously - to meet. I figured, 'why not?' He asked me what I'm looking for and I told him something meaningful. He said he's looking for the same, that the whole one-night-stand thing doesn't appeal, and so on. We met and then after the date, the sexting stuff started. He told me in crude language that he wanted to sleep with me. He asked if I wanted a picture of his privates. He kept flirting with me sexually. Now, I am no prude, but it felt like it was a lot. Also, the way he was saying it... It was describing acts with no class at all. Anyway, I sometimes hinted that mystery was important and that suspense was good instead of just sleeping with someone. He caught the hint and said that sex is not everything in a relationship. he apologised for carrying on with his sexual texts. I was relieved. An hour later - really, an hour! - he then told me he was pleasuring himself thinking about me. The next day he says hi and I think we're gonna have a real chat. But guess what? Immediately into the conversation he's telling me he has taken a naked pic of himself, then the crude sexual comments start. I just get bored with this! It's putting me off the guy. What do you think? Guys/girls, I'd like to hear from both. ThanksG.
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female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (25 February 2015):
 Oh gosh!
This craziness has to stop & right now!!
By continuing to chat with him, in any form or shape, you are the one allowing him access, permission into your life, your world, your mind/psyche.
Get rid of him NOW & BLOCK him completely.
After you have done that, do not look back or change your mind.
He sounds very sleazy, tacky, non-gentlemanly & even dirty.
You are a lady & you deserve much better.
This man, may be a chronic serial offender & i believe you are not the only woman he is doing this with.
He sounds very obssessed.
You may laugh, but how could you possible know??
It's not as though you know him ultra personally & why would you want to get any closer, to this type of person/man anyway.
Keep your eyes wide open @ all times, with new people that you meet.
Do the right thing by you & do it now!
A
male
reader, mfj78  +, writes (25 February 2015):
HiyaMark here from across the pond. I hope your having a great day! As well as following the great advice re: blocking this guy, I think that in the nicest possible sense, and with the greatest of respect, that you need to see guys like him for what they really are. You don't want to get hurt, neither do you want to be used and abused by men waving huge, big, bright red flags I front of your eyes. Clearly he is only interested in sex. No conversation, chit chat or interest in you or your daily life, just straight in with telling you what he has in his hand and what he is doing with it. Judge his actions not his words. When you said you wanted something meaningful he wasn't realistically likely to say "Oh sorry love, I just wanted you to lie down for a few minutes while I used you as a hole" now Is he? Au contraire! Instead he tells you what you want to hear (meaningful relationships, how one nighters arnt his thing, etc) and yet when he isnt proclaiming how he is only looking for true love, he is texting smutty pictures, explaining in gross details his masturbatory habits.His actions clearly contradict his words. His apologies are quickly replaced by more smut and filth and, at the risk of sounding a bit harsh or blunt, he is clearly just trying to get inside your panties. Ive never met this geezer, so I wouldn't like to prejudge a stranger, but he doesn't sound like a man of class, style or finess quite frankly (if that's what your after I am available ladies!) He is a loser and a disrespectful one at that. What part of a meaningful relationship involves sexting, spixturing (a new word I just invented meaning sending dirty pics of a sexual nature via text) and rather than saying he has fallen so madly in love with you that he must engage in the most wonderful, meaningful love making with you which is full of the mystery you enjoy, he offers to send you a picture of his privates in full 12 megapixel glory while tossing himself off! Having done internet dating extensively I quickly found it best to use a second mobile (cell) phone. A cheap and cheerful pay as you go phone the number of which you give out to people on dating sites. If you end up being harassed or stalked, or guys wont leave you alone then you can change the number easily. Give out your PROPER number at your peril. Also its best to wait and see what someone is like online before meeting. Online dating can be fun, exciting and great but if the guy is too keen to meet it does suggest he has an itch that needs scratching ;-)Best o' luckMark
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (25 February 2015):
 He seems like a time waster. It's obvious he is just trying to get some free kicks online, and both of you are looking for different things.
Ignore him, block him, find someone worth talking too. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2015): Block him and report him to the site if he continues with the crude language. Don't dilly-dally when a man is making inappropriate advances. Tell this guy to stop contacting you. You're no longer interested. If you come across as wimpy, he will become increasingly aggressive.
If you're going to deal with men online, you'll have to be assertive; and let them know when you are offended. Always reinforce whatever you ask someone not to do by letting them know you don't like repeating yourself.
That has nothing to do with being a prude. He's a scumbag and he has no class.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2015): he is an asshole...block him off
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 February 2015):
 I agree, Block him, delete his number - and IF he gets hold of you through another phone number tell him to STOP calling, that you are NOT interested and you will consider further contact from him HARASSMENT.
THIS IS NOT OK. His behavior is NOT OK. And by keep texting back, by even ANSWERING you are telling him it "might sorta" be OK.
This guy have figured out that he has a "good girl" on his hands, one that won't be rude or tell him to go fly a kite into a hurricane. So he KEEPS pushing the limit. he thinks the more he tests the SOONER you will cave and play along.
You know he was lying when he said he was looking for something meaningful, right? Because there is ABSOLUTELY nothing meaningful in sexting a total stranger (and yes, you two are strangers) specially a STRANGER who has already TOLD him it's not appropriate.
The guy is a CREEP. Your STRANGER DANGER alarm should be going off on full alert.
I hope for YOUR sake he doesn't HAVE too many details of your private info.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2015): Block him! Complete twat, he knows what to say to keep you engaging with him but then he goes against it by carrying on. He doesn't want anything meaningful, he could be saying the same thing to a handful of other girls just waiting for someone to respond to him.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (25 February 2015):
 OP, his behaviour says a great deal about the man. tolerating it for even a moment says a great deal about you. It tells people that you're inexperienced and eager to please. in other words, ripe for the pickings.
Regardless of how long you've been talking to him (or any man), regardless of how great those conversations or meetings have been, regardless of how intelligent and decent you might think he is, the MOMENT he steps out of line, you cut him loose without a word. No comment, no angry words, no reprimand, no arguments, no nothing.
The people you meet were born and raised on the same planet as you were and they can't have lived as long as they have without picking up a thing or two about how to interact with others. A man who treats you this way knows exactly what he's doing. You don't owe any of them explanations or second or third or fourth chances.
Cut them loose. Complete and sudden radio silence.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (25 February 2015):
Gross. Tell him to stop contacting you, you can do better than this.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 February 2015):
 he is a loser ignore him.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (25 February 2015):
 Block his number. Stop talking to him and simply block his number.
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