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age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Up until last Friday I was dating a guy for nearly 2 month, I really liked him but on that friday he went on a night out with his ex , we argued and he said it was innocent they were only talking about something. But why not just speak over text or the phone? I don't know if anything happened between them , and now I feel like he doesn't want to talk to me anymore but I don't want to be the first to text him, but what if he is thinking the same? He might be thinking because I went mad at him I don't want to speak to him. Do I swallow my pride and be the first to text ? And what do I say to him? Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2015): There is a good chance he and his ex have unfinished business. If he's dating someone, he shouldn't be going out with an ex-girlfriend.
If a guy has a kid with his ex, they have reason for periodic to frequent contact. If the ex is a friend like any other friend; respectful and unintrusive. All well and good.
If exes are always messaging and chatting; even when you're on a date. You're wasting your time; she's more important to him than you, if he stops to answer her.
Move on before you find yourself all attached and dumped. You're more than likely a rebound-date.
Take this lesson with you into the future. If you meet a guy; and he's got a lot going on with his ex, he may be on the rebound. If it seems his ex is increasingly making her presence felt, she is competing with you. If he doesn't maintain a respectful balance; to show which woman comes first. Dump him and move on.
I steer clear of guys overly-chummy with exes. I don't have time for that. I don't compete with anybody over nobody. I prefer people who's exes are satellites in outer-space. Nothing is more irritating and imposing than a jealous-ex!
All my friends respect my relationships; and cause me no problems. Same with the guy I'm dating. I know all his wonderful friends; never heard from or seen any of his exes. We share the same philosophy on exes. They're neither seen nor heard.
He neglected time with you to spend with her. That in itself is disrespectful, and a sign she would only be a wedge between you. He stays safely in the middle; while you two go at it.
Swallow your pride?!! No way!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 February 2015):
 I have to agree with SVC
I think they were on a "break" he met you and dated you. My guess is that they were STILL talking while he was dating you, and that SHE doesn't KNOW about you.
I think it's pretty skeevy to go out a night on the town with your ex, if all she needs is to "talk" with him. I can see they want to met up and talk in person, maybe over coffee - MAYBE she needed closure, THAT I can understand - but going out on a Friday night? To... talk? Nope don't buy it.
If he has ANY of your stuff and you have ANY of his text him and ask to met up so you can exchange items.
If he then wants to "talk" then do so, but keep in mind to LISTEN to your gut.
If you have none of his and he none of yours, I'd let it go. I'd let HIM go and move on. It's only been 2 months. and 2 months is WAY to early to have to deal with exes drama.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 February 2015):
 Sounds to me like if he HAD to see the ex and you two are only dating for 2 months and she's a RECENT ex that POSSIBLY they are talking about getting back together.
I would NOT text him. I would assume he's getting back with her and get on with life and wait to hear from him.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (23 February 2015):
I am assuming he actually purposefully met up with his ex, rather than went out to somewhere in a group and she happened to be there.
The fact is, you’re not going to lose anything by sending him a text first. It isn’t like you’re making a major commitment to him by doing it, or that by trying to get communication flowing again, you’re making an excuse if he has done anything wrong. If things have been going well so far apart from this, isn’t it worth hearing him out? At least then you can decide whether you believe him and whether you’re satisfied with his explanation.
If he has done nothing wrong, perhaps he’s waiting for you to make the first move. Maybe he should take responsibility for texting first, after all it’s easy to see why you might be upset and why you deserve an explanation. But if he’s not going to, be the bigger person. Know where you stand.
I wish you all the very best.
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (23 February 2015):
 To me it all sounds very strange. He randomly went out on a night with his ex so they could talk about "something"? Sounds suspicious from the word go if you ask me.
It all really depends on who this ex was.. how long they have been separated for.. and if it was just him and her as too whether something dodgy is to of likely gone on.
However I do have too say that playing the whole "who should text first" game in this situation is silly. Its obvious you are concerned about this, and you've given it some time so you should go ahead and text him... because if I was you I would say he has some explaining to do, because this all sounds very strange.
Also you are right, after the argument he may now think you don't want to speak to him... however don't let him use that as an excuse if you do find out he has done something with this ex of his.
You should start off nicely and just text him saying something like "Hey, we haven't spoken since Friday and I was wondering if you are okay? We also need to speak about you going out with your ex, because I am worried that something may be going on with you and her".
If you think this is the sort of convo that you need to have with him in person then tell him you'd like to meet and speak with him soon! I have always found it easier too tell if someone is lying about something if you are actually there infront of them.
I hope that everything turns out to be okay, and just remember if you have a gut feeling about something then you should definitely follow that feeling. Good luck x
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