A
female
age
36-40,
*oneymel
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months. 4 have been long distance because he got a real good job out of state and moved, and I stayed where I am for now.The last week and a half he has been real distant. He is trying to buy a house and I guess it isn't going good. He didn't go into too many details, just that he is having problems with the bank. The few times I've gotten a hold of him, he gives real short answers and doesn't seem to want to talk.Tonight I text him, and he said he is still waiting to hear from the bank.I asked how he was besides that and he says hanging in there. I asked if everything was ok between us, and he said I've just been really down. Not yes or no. I asked whats stressing him so much, and he said everything had just piling up on him at once. I left the conversation at if you want to talk I am here from you, but its ok if you want to be left alone and he said thanks. Do men act like this when they are really stressed out and down? I have never seen him act like this in the entire time we have been together. I just want our relationship to be ok, but I can tell he needs his space now and don't want to push it.Thanks
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 June 2012):
 When a guy is separated from his G/F and sez he ".... wants/needs his space..." that is guy-talk for: "... you're not here, and I'm checking around to see if I can locate a girl, here, to be my "G/F" until/unless you call me on the matter...."
IF you "give him his space"... then he gets just what he wants.... time and opportunity to dump you.... whilest you get to sit home and then, after it happens, say:
"WHA' HOPPENED????"
Good luck....
A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (19 June 2012):
 I don't think how he's acting has anything to do with you. When my boyfriend switched jobs, he hated the new one at first. He was withdrawn and miserable, and not really very affectionate at all. It drove me NUTS, and after I talked to him, he let me know it really was just his frustrations from work and not me.
I think you did the right thing by giving him a little bit of space. He'll come around, and he'll appreciate that you were there for him.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (19 June 2012):
In my situation, I can say w/o question yes. As it stands right now I have the following going on -
1 - I am solely running a medical based business in regulation happy NYC.
2 - I am jointly running another business in Pa.
3 - I am considering opening another business in NJ (jointly.)
4 - I am buying a house that will close in September
5 - I am going to be moving primary residences this month
6 - I am planning a wedding for June of next year.
7 - I am trying to finish my 2011 taxes (extension) for my mortgage for the house above.
So yes, it does become a lot, and often I become short with people that I shouldnt be short with. What I have done is told my gf about the wedding - pretty much all I want to know is what time do you want me to show up. I am taking care of almost everything else on my own, so I need her to 100% tend to this issue. Ergo, if there is anything you can find that you can take of his plate, offer to. It will go a lot further than just asking him "whats wrong" or complaining he doesnt have enough time, which is often what people do.
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