A
female
age
26-29,
*imeelouise
writes:hi, im 17 and have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, my parents found out we was sleeping in the same bed and have now banned me from staying there, i wanted to know if they are aloud to do that? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lovedontrun  +, writes (20 June 2012):
 yes, they are allowed to do that. and they SHOULD do that. i know that you never actually specified whether or not you and this guy are having sex while you're sleeping in the same bed...and i'm not just going to automatically assume that you are, because i know from personal experience that it is entirely possible to share a bed and not have sex. BUT, i also know that it is entirely possible for sharing a bed to LEAD to having sex (that's exactly the way that it happened in my case). and 17 is too young to be having sex; i know that at that age, you think you're ready for it, but the odds are that you're really not. i became sexually active about a year ago (when i was 19), and to be entirely honest, i still don't feel like that's something that i was really and truly ready for at that time. based on the fact that they've banned you from sleeping with your boyfriend, i'm assuming that your parents feel the exact same way that i do. had my parents known ahead of time that i was sleeping in the same bed as my now ex-boyfriend that i gave my virginity to (they believed me right off the bat when i said that i wasn't, because--believe it or not--i had always been about 99% trustworthy before), they would have put their foot down and forbid me from staying with him the same way that your parents did. and honestly, i wish now that they would have done that. someday, you'll see things the same way.be safe, sweetie. protect your innocence. and realize that your parents just love you and want what's best for you. ")good luck, and God bless,~sarah~
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2012): They are your parents, you are their CHILD, they are allowed to enforce rules upon you as long as you live under their roof.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (19 June 2012):
You are only "old enough" to make your own decisions when you are completely responsible for yourself. IMO, as long as someone else is supporting you (or your dependents), you lose your right to completely self-govern.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 June 2012):
 The fact that you even ask this tells me that they did the right thing.
You have a poor grasp of grammar spelling and proper word usage. You have no concept of the laws of parenting and responsibility. These things alone concern me in your quest to behave as an adult.
you then updated to say you are in college and that's where you stay so you aren't even living in your parents home are you? (or did you mean you aren't dropping out?)
IF you stay at college then how do your parents know what you are doing at night?
perhaps College where you live is not considered school but it is here. Do you think calling it college makes you sound older?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): You are still under 18 and therefore legally a child your parents are fully within their rights to tell you not to do something.
If you really want to prove you're all grown up and old enough to be trusted then start being mature and listening to your parents. If you show them you can be trusted by doing what they ask, offer to contribute a little money each month to cover food or whatever (if you are working alongside college) and just generally be considerate of them then they are going to see you are acting more like and adult and less like a demanding teenager.
Actions speak louder than words basically. Telling them your grown up will not go as far as showing them. Also, if your boyfriend truly cares for you he will understand you will respect your parents and he will be happy to wait for you to earn their trust before you are allowed around his again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): Allowed? Well yeah of course, it's not child abuse to stop you sleeping with your boyfriend, if they don't want you spending the night with him then that's their decision.
It doesn't matter anyway because there's not a whole lot you can do about it.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (19 June 2012):
Only been together 6 months and already sharing a bed? Why does getting to know each other and waiting a while seem so last century these days! Basically, if you don’t like their rules, you’d better find yourself some-where else to live. They have a right to a view on the conduct of some-one living in their house, and they’re certainly more than within their rights to ban sharing a bed at their house if they wish. Legally, you can share a bed, and you can have sex. But is this ban really such a big deal? Maybe you should try and get a clearer sense of what their boundaries are and see if there’s any room to compromise at a later stage, though you can hardly blame them for thinking that sharing a bed after just 6 months is far too soon.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, aimeelouise +, writes (19 June 2012):
aimeelouise is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah but im old enough to make my own decisions though. I don't go to school!!! I'm im college and I am staying there.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 June 2012):
 That's "allowed" not "aloud". If you are living under their roof you are living under their rules. And for crying out loud stay in school.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): Their house, their rules...you are living under their roof, eating their food and using their stuff....you need to follow the rules or go and find your own place to live and you can make your own rules and don't need to follow theirs anymore.
This is certainly innappropriate for someone your age and if you were my kid, you would not be sleeping with your boyfriend either. I suppose your parents would prefer to raise a respectable daughter who holds high standards for herself and has a boyfriend who picks her up and takes her out on dates, kisses her goodnight and you both go to your own homes for the evening. What are you thinking? But since you are, I hope you are using birth control and condoms because if you think being banned from sleeping with your boyfriend is bad and making your life suck....wait until your entire life changes and you have to give everything up because you are pregnant. At least be smart about that.
Sorry, your parents are correct...and by the time you figure that out, you will have a daughter of your own...
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