A
female
age
26-29,
*ngeldsijmgkg
writes:MODERATOR NOTE: TWO QUESTIONS COMBINED FROM SAME ASKER so im 16 and i know this guy from fb that i have been iming 4 bout a month now he is 23 and realy cute n he asked me out and wants to sleep with me but he said if i dont sleep with him then he doesnt want me! so should i sleep with him? please tell me wat i should do! :( i am 16 and still a virgin. i mean im not ugly plenty of guys have tried to sleep with me i just feel im not ready but none of my friends r virgins anymore. so wat i want to know is should i sleep with some one just to "get it over with"?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2012): hunny please dont. hes just using you. hes a 23 year old creep that wants a young girl for sex. he thinks that since your a virgin he can easily get into your head and get his way. if you give in he'll have sex with you and leave. he just wants you for sex. hes not worth it. your better than that. when you find the right guy youll no. im 17 and im still a virgin and proud of it. my friends all lost their virginity but im okay with that. id rather not regret it, since most people do when they give it up easily. be careful who you talk to! im always here if you need to talk! love3
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (11 June 2012):
Arranging sex over the internet is one of the most foolish things a person can do.
Proceed accordingly.
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A
female
reader, avogado  +, writes (10 June 2012):
He wants you for sex and that's all. Meaning he'd just be using you. Don't be his toy! You can do so much better.
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A
female
reader, Siteme +, writes (9 June 2012):
 OH Dear Lord...... Put yourself in his shoes.... I mean, I'm not saying you are not pretty... I'm sure your as cute as a bugs ear... but Really, did you ever ask yourself why this man that is 7 years your senior is not dating in his own age brackett? I mean this guy could go to prison for having anything to do with anyone under 18. If you were 24 or 25, would you take a chance like that? Seriously? Don't romanticize this, that is not what this is about. He doesn't even know you, and what is really something to think about is YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!!!! Just because your friends arn't virgins doesn't mean you can't be. Does everyone have to be the same in this world? Geeze, remember what America was built on... "People being different from one another" If it bothers you so much, tell them you lost your virginity to a guy they don't know. Do they have to know everything? And if your best friends think less of you for being a virgin, are they really your friends? I guess maybe you should ask yourself why does it bother you? As far as a stranger on the internet, I would be really careful with that, what if your story will be...."I lost my virginity and got AIDS all at once, now my life is over"? Please think about this!!!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 June 2012):
 NO NO NO NO NO!
NO! I have no problem with teen sex or premarital sex.
BUT virginity is NOT a curse. I's not something to get rid of.... it's NOT a bad thing. NOT for boys or girls...
1. he's too old and if he touches you he will be a sex offender and go to jail... this is not a good thing
2. he's a bully (have sex with me or go away) what kind of person says that?) you're response should be "Buh-BYE"
and BLOCK...
he's a predator hon and you will strongly regret later on if you have sex with him.
My stepdaughter was about your age when she and her BOYFRIEND who she loved and adored lost their virginity to each other..... a few years later they broke up and she cried to me how sorry she was that she had not waited....
and she LOVED the boy....
wait till you find a boy you love and adore who loves and adores and RESPECTS you before you even consider having sex.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (9 June 2012):
 I've been your age before, and I don't want to sound boring, or make you feel like I am giving you a lecture, but pls read all the advices that people have giving you, and know that this is serious. Honestly, I think you are a little too young to have sex. However, I know that many of your friends probably are having sex now. I guess, age is not the problem, but you have to have sex when you feel like "you are ready". It's horrible that someone would pressure you, and believe me, when someone tell you "have sex with me or I won't be with you" it's a big NO! When you make friends, or when you start dating, whomever should accept you the way you are. You might think differently, you might not understand, or see the sign clearly, but trust the advices that people have giving you here. Pls!!!
When you do decide to have sex, always use protection. You can search in the web to see the kinds of STD you might get if you are not careful. Sex is a beautiful thing, I just want you to have a good experience. You are the only one that can protect yourself from any danger. Love yourself. Respect your body, and in any situation in life, never do things against your will. Do not let people pressure you on doing anything you do not want to, ok?
Good luck and best wishes!
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 I suggest you block him on Facebook. Make the most of the terrific block option. Creeps should have no place in your life!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 June 2012):
If the best this guy can do is tell you that unless you sleep with him, he doesn't want you, then he's a pretty dreadful guy.
I don't think you should go near him. He sounds cheap and classless. Don't ever let a guy treat you this way.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (9 June 2012):
 NO,you most definitely should NOT have sex ("sleep with") this guy!
You're only 16; he's 23. that's a big age difference at your time of life.
It is very plain that he doesn't care about YOU as a person; all he wants is to use your body for sex. That's not a good way to experience sex for the first time! You should wait until you are older before you have sex with anybody: go out with boys close to your own age if you enjoy their company and if they treat you with respect and consideration - but don't hop into bed with any of them.
You should wait until you're older and meet a young man who really cares about you and is interested in forming a good relationship. Someone who will NOT pressure you to do something you're not ready for! Good relationships often start as platonic (i.e., non-sexual) friendship and slowly deepen as you both get to know one another and see how well you get on. If you can talk to one another freely and be willing to listen to him, and he listens to your thoughts, ideas, and opinions without telling you you are wrong, or putting you down in any way - these are signs of something genuine.
Finally, never mind if none of your friends are still virgins! You don't have to follow them just to "get it over with" you know! You tell us you just are not ready to lose your virginity. So HONOR yourself and that feeling by
standing up for yourself. In that way you'll be acting like your own best friend........
As for this guy on Facebook, no matter how cute he might seem, you are MUCH better off ditching him! Remember he told you that if you won't sleep with him, then he doesn't want you. What could be clearer than that?!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (9 June 2012):
 NO!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot stress that two-letter word enough, for your question. No! No! No!
1) If the man will leave you if you refuse to have sex, he does not care for you. Period. You do not deserve a scumbag like that. You deserve a man who loves you for who you are.
2) I was 26 years old when I lost my virginity and it was to the greatest, most sweetest man in the world. Please do not succumb to temptation in school to have sex "just to get it over with." You are only a virgin once and it is a very special gift to give a man. You should only have sex when you're with a very special man. Don't just do it to "get it over with" and be another notch on the belt of an immature boy.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (9 June 2012):
No!! Do not have your first time with a creeper you met online who is demanding sex. If you feel strange being a virgin when your friends ask - say "look I'm so not mainstream - I'm waiting for someone special".
I was a virgin until 22 and lost it to my first love. In the plaza hotel in NYC. Way better than being taken advantage of. Consider you first.
Xoxoxo
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): No way! No man should ever force you to have sex with him. It's your body and if you want to stay a virgin that's great. It sounds to me he just wants you for the pleasure.
Trust me I'm 18 I've seen many girls thru out high school in the same situation, most of them ended up pregnant.
Look being a virgin is something special. Don't give it up to a FB horny 23 year old. Don't give in to others or "get it over with"
How would u feel down the road when ur married and ur husband asks if u had sex before?? Make a wise decision!! G'Luck.
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A
female
reader, 11celle +, writes (9 June 2012):
1 If your not ready, don't do it. Even if truly all of your friends have, your not ready and its ok to wait. 2 is that you met on facebook you can only get to know someone so well from there. And besides, If he said that if you don't sleep with him he doesn't want you, he isn't worth it. He basically said that all he wants is sex.
And there is a 7 year age difference that in most states is illegal for anything sexual to happen between the 2 of you since you are not 18. I know that age shouldn't be a factor but it is in a case where one or both people are id say under 20.
Over all Id say keep your head held high and move on. A good friend, some popcorn and a movie are the best pain killers for this type of thing (from experience).
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A
female
reader, angeldsijmgkg +, writes (9 June 2012):
angeldsijmgkg is verified as being by the original poster of the question im also wondering if i should give my virginity to this guy?
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