A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In need of desperate help...I can't take it anymore!It all started in the very beginning. We started dating in march 2013 but I broke up with him cause I felt he was too needy, he just had gotten out of a 6 year relationship 3 months prior (she cheated on him) and I had just gotten out of a year relationship 2 months prior, I was over mine but I felt his behavior showed he wasn't over his, he moved way too fast. He gave me a key to his place and had me meet his parents in 2 weeks. After I broke it off I started dating someone else later that month. It didn't work out and we on the dated a couple weeks. He said some really nasty things about me to his friends that I won't say on here, I saw all of it when we got back together that August cause he said he had changed, so I gave him another chance. We started talking again in June and got back together in august. He still would say disrespectful things about me, and each time I've seen all of it on his phone. I lost it and went off on him. "Supposedly" since then he promised he had stopped. He said he was mad at me cause I was partying with my friends too much while we were talking again that summer, and he was mad that I wouldn't commit(I wanted to take our time the 2nd time around). I let it go cause that was the only things he had done wrong/hurtful but it still bothered me. We moved in together in February 2014 and also got engaged. Everything was great in the beginning, then that changed. Every time I would go spend every other weekend with my family or friends (we lived in a different new town) he would either a.constantly text me and call me b.treat me different or c. Fight with me. I felt constantly smothered and trapped like I was being treated like a pet or property. I tried to tell him of these things, but it didn't stop. I couldn't take it anymore, I was already having a hard time moving away from my family and friends and being in a new town at a new college, with that on top of it I lost it. I moved out and broke off our engagement. He turned into a complete disrespectful immature ass. He wouldn't let me get the rest of my things at the apartment because I had "no business there". Well then ontop of that 3 days later we got into a fight and he sent me a picture of a another girl saying "been with her since the day you left" I blocked all contact with him after I met up with him at his work to get my things. The whole time he blamed me for everything, called me crazy to his friends and family, this victim poor me crap. I started going on dates with this guy a bit after all of this, well during this whole time (3 week period from breakup) I was pregnant and I had no idea. I called my ex and told him and he asked me about everything, and I told him I slept with that guy but it was the night before I took the pregnancy test, and it was just that once. I had been pregnant for 3 weeks. He came out here and we tried to get back together but I couldn't do it. All hell broke loose when I rejected this. We constantly fought, (I said nasty things to him also) he changed his profile picture to him and that girl, he said he wanted a paternity test and for me not to speak to him till then. I tried making him go to the appointments and give a crap but he didn't. 3 weeks later he said he was sorry for everything and all this stuff how he wants everything to work for the baby etc etc. I gave him another chance. Now, 4 months later I am still constantly tortured by his actions and everything hurtful he has done to me. His immaturity throughout our relationship has constantly hurt me. He has apologized for all of it, but I don't know if I can ever completely heal. It breaks my heart because I love him and our baby girl will be here in March. I want things to work, but I feel like the damage has already been done and I don't know how to move on and be happy again. I try to talk to him about it and he just keeps saying I need to let it go and that he's already apologized, it seems really insensitive to me and he just expects me to forgive him over and over. Help please I'm not sure if I should just move on with my life and coparent, or try harder.
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broke up, engaged, get back together, got back together, immature, move on, moved in, moved out, my ex, period, pregnancy test, text, trapped Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 December 2014):
 Do you love HIM or do you love the man you want him to be?
You can not love a man's potential. IF he is not currently what you need or want then you do not love him.
I would prepare to be a single mom. Get your ducks in a row for a paternity test (he will probably demand one), get his name on the birth certificate and find out what your child support options are. I would suggest court ordered and garnished support to minimize the drama you will continue to have with him.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 December 2014):
 After reading through your story of drama, it "sounds" to me as though YOU have only one decision to make....
EITHER have your baby and give her up for adoption to a real family who can care for, nuture and raise her in a home/family environment,.... OR, reconcile that you are going to be a single Mother for some - as yet undetermined - time......
That guy who donated his sperm "sounds" like someone who you should part from... and STAY AWAY from....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2014): No sweetheart. Don't try harder.
You have done your best.
But this is just one of those relationships that is just never going to work out. You will both be miserable for as long as you stay together.
My friends got married BECAUSE she was pregnant. They have fought for 15 years. It started off with verbal fights and turned physical because they've come to despise each other that much. The poor child they did this for is probably traumatised by witnessed domestic violence at home.
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