A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner seems to get more excited over the women in porn that he does me. I have also noticed that they have several things in common. They are all young thin and beautiful. He never looks for any woman with a body type remotely like mine. I'm older and defiantly not thin.Does this mean he prefers this look? We live apart so he rarely sees my body. If it turned him on surely he would look for similar once in a while at least? Or does he just love me for my mind and is settling for my body because he knows his chances of getting a woman wholooks like that is very slim?
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male
reader, arrgy  +, writes (5 January 2015):
Here is the simple answer to your question...
Lose weight.
Think about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2014): Having sex five times a day isn't the norm at all and it will never last so I don't recommend trying that unless you want to be very uncomfortable, lol. Sage old guy's answer is so sexist and ridiculous I hope you realize that. There are plenty of men who want their wife/gf primarily because of their intelligence as well as attraction- intelligence is a turn on in itself. As for your guy and porn I'm not sure what to say. I can't stand porn, the porn workers look pretty revolting to me so I wouldn't want anything to do with a man who found any of them remotely attractive or who would devote his sexual energy to that instead of to me. Many men however want multiple partners and stimulation even if it is through something like fantasy porn and they will be dishonest about it for the most part. Sit down and have a talk with him about all of this.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 December 2014):
 You write: "...Or does he just love me for my mind and is settling for my body because he knows his chances of getting a woman who looks like that is very slim?"
There's a cruel irony in what you've written.... and it's this:
EVERY MAN will tell a girl that he "loves her (me) for her mind..." ... because he knows that that is what she'd prefer to hear... AND, because it masks the actuality of this:
EVERY MAN wants his girl FOR HER BODY!!!!! .... and, if it turns out that she has a mind, that's just a pleasant surprise...
Remember: Women need (or, want) a REASON to have $-x; Men only need a place....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2014): How do you know he prefers porn? You said yourself he rarely ever sees your body because you live apart. Not quite sure what that means...but if you two rarely have sex then that's prob the reason he's looking at so much porn. Maybe if you showed him your body more and had a more active sex life, he wouldn't look at porn so frequently, if at all.
When my boyfriend and I moved in together we would have sex on average about 5 times a day. Interestingly, he commented how happy he was with our sex life and commented how he never looks at porn anymore. He elaborated that as a bachelor, watching porn was as habitual as eating and bathing everyday. Unfortunately we started arguing over nonsense and our sex life abruptly ended, but that's another story.
Anyway, my point is that if you improve your sex life, by having more of it, he may be less inclined to look at porn. It's worth a try. And if still nothing changes then maybe he is not the right guy for you.
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