A
female
age
30-35,
*iswifey1
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 5 or 6 years,only living together for about 3 or 3 1/2.In 2011, I gave birth to our one and only daughter. His brother got engaged a while back,maybe last year?! My boyfriend wanted/wants to give him a Batchelor party,including strippers!!!! I really had no kind of idea what happens at a Batchelor party--I was just curious, and so I asked him, and he didnt even wanna talk about it at all! And this was before I even objected (1st time)! When he first told me of this idea I was puzzled, because my boyfriend doesnt like strippers so why would he make any attempts to be in that kind ofenvironment?! I cannot stomach the idea or thought of strippers being all on my man!!!! No, I dont have trust issues!!! But my boyfriend is not his only brother,neither is my boyfriend SINGLE (which is why I really feel like strippers should not be there or they should not go to a strip club). What it boils down to is this: I dont think my boyfriend should give his brother a batchelor party because(1) his brother never comes to visit us, and whats crazy is we live walking distance to his brother/father (2) his brother is very disrespectful to everybody (3) im always home with our daughter, and I never get to go out, even with my boyfriend!!! My boyfriend,first suggested that he and his brother go to a bar,take shots, then get a hotel room with strippers(for his bros. Batchelor party!!!! I objected to this, for reasons 1 and 2 above! Then me and my boyfriend have had several slight arguments afer this,and he decided not to do it! Then a few days ago, he brought upthe idea again! This time he suggested they go to Las Vegas for the Batchelor Party!!! I objected becuz I thoroughly beleive "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"!!!! This time, he says he`s not doing anything (he says his brother doesnt deserve it)! We havent discussed it anymore,but im worried that he may go behind my back and do it anyway. What is ur take on this whole situation?
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female
reader, hiswifey1 +, writes (4 March 2015):
hiswifey1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everybody for all the advice!Just to help clarify some things: he is 30 years old. He decided not to do the batchelor party for his brother.He is in fact,though,goig to be a groomsmen.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2014): I so don't understand and dislike this whole stripping business but people do it all the time, so for some people it is enjoyable. I think you have your hands full w/ your boyfriend. I think he is a young fellow who got himself a family too early and now looking for some adventures.
You cant watch his every step. Tell him what you think about all of this and see what happens.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 December 2014):
 Uhh, does his brother live in California?? I answered your other question before seeing this one.
If your boyfriend is best man, many BP's have a stripper element to them. Stupid I know, but they do. Normally, I'd say lighten up, but in light of what you said in your other post, I think he's getting restless.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2014): Sounds like your boyfriend is throwing the party for himself, and his brother is invited. I also answered your question about his flight to California to become a hip hop artist.
I think you've got yourself a player. Go get your legal ducks in a row for child-support. He's not becoming a hip hop success two-months in California. Sounds like a getaway plan to me!
Strippers at the bachelor party might be more for his own entertainment. He's doing it in spite of your objections?
You've got your hands full, girlfriend!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 December 2014):
 My "take" is that your handle, "his wifey" is incorrect... and you have now got to figure out that your "B/F" is in total control of things.... as demonstrated by his handling of the "bachelor party" thing... and his indifference to your concern about it.....
I suggest that you say your piece (such as: "I'm not happy about you planning and being at a bachelor party that includes strippers...") then back off and see what happens. What he does (and DOESN'T do) will tell you where you stand in his hierarchy of concerns....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Delirium +, writes (4 December 2014):
 You may say you don't, but you do have some trust issues here. You aren't comfortable with your boyfriend being around strippers, which if you really do trust him then you wouldn't have any doubts about him being at a club (especially since you said he doesn't even like them, heck he will probably come home afterwards frustrated over how much money the whole party cost him). And later on you admit that you worry that he will still go behind your back and have a party anyway. As for your boyfriend wanting to throw this party for his brother, a brother that you say he doesn't have a very close relationship with, it may be his way of making up for lost time. Trying to do something nice for his brother since he doesn't visit or have a close relationship. And many guys want to have strippers at a bachelor party since it's kind of the "last chance" and the thrill is what is appealing. Can't really expect to have a weekend party at a strip club once married right? Also is your boyfriend the best man? If so it would be his obligation (traditionally speaking) to set up a bachelor party, he may not have any other ideas besides taking everyone out to a bar or Las Vegas. I would suggest encouraging them to go to an actual strip club rather than hiring strippers to go to a hotel though, the clubs have bouncers, other customers, managers, bartenders, and things are less likely to get out of hand (if that is something you are really worried about. But don't let yourself get too worried; strippers do not equal prostitutes, it is unlikely that they will be getting anything other than a show, someone to chat with/drink with at their table, a lap dance or two, and completely empty wallets by the time they leave). Bachelor parties happen but they are often overrated in movies and TV shows.I noticed you said, "I cannot stomach the idea or thought of strippers being all on my man" so I wonder if you are upset with the strippers for their line of work more than you are upset with your boyfriend. I hope not. Most of those women are just trying to make ends meet, and take care of themselves and any family they may have. If they had the choice they would probably not want to be "all over" your man either (I mean no disrespect to him, they would rather not be on anyone but still get paid). Those women are going to shut down anything that makes them uncomfortable.How do you feel about Bachelorette parties? Maybe with some male strippers? How would your boyfriend feel about that, how would you feel about going to a party with a male stripper, would you feel guilty? Do you think anything would happen?
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