A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I would like to ask a question at a general/stereotypical level - Why don't girls have sex as much as guys? Eg. a single guy goes to a party/club/bar and hopes something will happen. A single girl goes to the same place and doesn't let anything happen. See what I mean? Most times a single guy wants something to happen, and most times a single girl doesn't let anything happen.For me, I don't outwardly chase girls, but when I'm talking with a girl who I think is really hot, non-verbally, involuntarily, and subconsciously, I'm going 'am I good enough? Does she like me? She can get better than me', and I feel a bit tense. Is this the answer to my question? Or is it because girls don't want to be seen as sluts? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, turbine  +, writes (9 October 2010):
It is the way God has made women. It doesn't go that way. Men are called suiters because it suits them to sue the woman they like. And somehow...a woman will always be happier if she marries a man who runs after her rather than marrying someone whom she runs after. As far as sex is concerned...boy beleive me women can be as horny as a man. Or maybe hornier..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): I think women are just more discreet about it. Guys like to brag, women want to seem virtuous. Using the bar scenario, many women just like to have a good time and hang out. They may already have a late night booty call lined up, they may just like the attention, they may just not be into picking up a guy at a bar. Most women I've approached in a bar or club have a bit more resistant than those I meet through friends or at a private party or something. There is too much uncertainty at a bar, plus there is a large pool of candidates. I would NOT assume women are having sex less...they can just be a lot more selective. Men aren't approached as much, so they have to be more aggressive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): basically guys can have as many one night stands as they wont and no no will ever say anything but the minute a girl sleeps with one person they are known as a bit of a slag!
so yes girls do want to have sex as much as boys but they dont want the name that goes with it!
xo
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female
reader, GettingHelp  +, writes (31 August 2010):
We're just as hormonal as you lot!
And statistically women are more open to experimentation in bed.
Women, however, get labelled. Guys don't.
The result girls learnt how to keep quiet about what they're up to :)
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 August 2010):
You'll find that women are just more discreet about what happens. They do it just as much.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): The sex gets distributed to men differently than it goes to women. It gets more concentrated in the hands of a few men.
When you take that factor into account, the remaining majority of men probably get less sex than the remaining majority of women do. And men are getting it with less desirable female partners on average too.
You don't hear about this because of several other factors. Women don't want to be seen as sluts because both sexes exert social pressure against it. And neither gender seems to understand the math well enough to realize that the system is so unfair.
Ever since casual sex became more socially acceptable it has benefited a small percentage of men and hurt everyone else. The biggest losers have been the other majority of men.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 IF someone told you that if you had sex you might get an STD Or you may only get pregnant and be miserable for nine months then squeeze a seven or eight pound live kikking screaming baby from your pelvis maybe you'd think twice about juming in bed with every oyther guy that thinks you are hot.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): I have come to realize at my age that women are better at keeping their sexual activity more covert than men. Gender issues are my passion and I have read and studied a lot on this topic. I am of the belief that women, not men, have more sexual partners throughout their lifetimes.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): Hormones, fear of disease or pregnancy, more particular about mates (girls have sex with men they would like in a relationship) etc. I think the biggest factor right now is age...women don't start getting really horny until later in life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): Okay you asked a general/stereotype question so I'll answer in that way too.
Every girl goes to a club hoping something will happen. Just to varying degrees.
Seriously why do you think they get dressed up? Most girls want to be chatted up, let me make it clear though, they want to be chatted up not sleazed on. Preferably by a guy who is both cute and intelligent but they'll take intelligent on its own too. I'm not saying they'll want anything more but the fact they were chatted up and/or asked out is pretty much the desired effect for most girls. This applies for girls that are spoken for too, just because they have a boyfriend doesn't they won't find it nice to be desired by other men even if they have absolutely no intention of doing anything.
Most times single girls don't let anything happen because they don't want it to happen. Unless you're a brad pitt lookalike, as wealthy as he is, as charismatic as Rasputin or as funny as Richard Prior then you have expect the law of numbers to be against you.
What I mean is most girls will talk to guys they have no interest in and let them chat them up because most girls like it and take it as a compliment, and if you're a nice guy girls will keep talking to you because they don't have the heart to tell you they're not interested (Illogical right? because being led on is worse, but girls just don't get that).
"For me, I don't outwardly chase girls, but when I'm talking with a girl who I think is really hot, non-verbally, involuntarily, and subconsciously, I'm going 'am I good enough? Does she like me? She can get better than me', and I feel a bit tense."
Yes this is your answer, that's the wrong attitude and it's very obvious to girls that you're thinking that. The key is confidence, supreme, unphasable confidence bordering on arrogance but with enough humility left not to be an ass.
Always assume they like you from the start, always assume they want to get to know you because you have something to offer them because you do. Never get phased by rejection, don't stand there in awe of a girl that you find beautiful, if she really is beautiful and a head turner then she gets that all the time, better to treat her like any other person you meet, male or female and have a normal casual conversation. As weird as this may sound, and it is kind of game playing, girls like that respond more to guys who don't seem over awed by their beauty, guys that don't really seem that interested in them and make them work a little. It makes them curious as to why you're not and it's refreshing.
Women have an innate ability to spot guys that just want to bone them and most don't like this at all, the most successful guys at dating are the ones that don't or are convincing enough to make the girl think that's not all they want. Really attractive men can disarm a woman with their smile, average guys have to do it with demeanor and conversation.
Look I don't agree with rating women in terms of numbers but I'm going to use it here to make a point. If you're always going for 9's and 10's and you don't have the Brad Pitt etc traits then you're going to be disappointed more often than you're not. Try talking to the 6's and 7's in a club, girls that you find attractive but are not going to be hit on and stared at by lots of other guys. These are very often the girls with the most to offer anyway both in conversation and personality, plus you are less likely to have competition. Meh, I don't really like putting it like that, as it sounds derogatory but that's not my intention. It just happens to be quite common.
Look everything above is a broad generalization because that's what you asked for. At the end of the day it all comes down to confidence and good personal grooming, that's all. All women are different and you can't categorize all women.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 Well given that it takes two to have sex, wouldn't it be statistically impossible? (Assuming that homosexual men and women are in the same proportion to each other and cancel each other out mathematically). Women outnumber men in the general population though, so I guess that brings down the average, but I doubt the difference is as stark as commonly thought. To some extent, since women have been conditioned to repress their sexualty and men to celebrate their conquests, it could merely be under-reporting on the part of women and exaggeration on the part of men.
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female
reader, candygirl_iraq  +, writes (31 August 2010):
I would have to disagree with both previous answers. I can't speak for all girls,but as a girl myself,if I see an attractive looking man I don't think of him naked or how well he would perform in bed if we hooked up.Most times I don't even imagine kissing him.I might say to myself "what a gorgeous dude,I wonder if he's single,if he is then lucky girl,if not,too bad for me cuz Im taken" aand thats it.
I can tell you also that most of my female friends are like that too. For women,IMO, feelings have to be involved before sex. I have to say I have never been able to understand how some women do "a one night stand".Then again, most times alcohol is involved.
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female
reader, smiliek +, writes (31 August 2010):
 its the mentality that if girls sleep around they're sluts and if a guy does he's a hero. In a relationship, girls like sex. Well personally i want it at least just as much as my fiance... One night stands dont tend to lead to great relationships
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female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (31 August 2010):
 Sex drives and sexual desire differ on an individual level. I know girls and guys alike who are very promiscuous and have lots of sex. I also know guys and girl alike who are at least twenty and have only had sex a handful of times with only one or two people. This variety is a result of genetics, hormones, personality, and personal values.
But girls are usually seen as having less sex because this is how society presents it to us. It is a bit of a double standard, but, frankly, I find promiscuity unattractive in either gender!
However, most typically men have more sex because they usually have higher sex drives, due to their testosterone levels (This is not always true, though. Remember, this is dependent on the individual. Even some women can have elevated testosterone levels.)Women, producing mostly estrogen, do not have sex drives quite as high. Women's brains are also developed slightly different, resulting in many women being more selective in their sexual partners. So, in short, this is somewhat biological. However, this is not always the case!
Thus, there is no definitive answer and there surely is not a definitive mold or stereotype of only women being selective and only men wanting lots of sex!
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female
reader, *cHrIsTiNa* +, writes (31 August 2010):
honestly we women do like having sex but we are not sex toys either we have been tought all our lives that sex should NEVER be on the first day cuz we will be considered sluts whores and easy so we can't be as out going as a guy we need to have our limits... so if a girl dosent have sex with u on the first date dosent mean she is not attracted to u maybe she is but wants to love instead of f**king right now....
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (31 August 2010):
 I think it is the "slut" answer. It is a horrible double standard that society has on this topic. Also, real relationships don't start with one night stands.
I don't think women like sex less, they just need to be selective about who they choose to be with. Men should learn to be the same.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 Guys and girls all want it the same, sometimes one wants it more than others but generally, humans are equally sexual.
More often than not, a woman can tell whether or not she wants to have sex with a man just by looking at him and a few minutes of conversation. Try not to be tense, some people can spot under-confidence from a mile away.
I hope that helps.
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