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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Why do guys watch porn WHILE they are in a stable relationship? I found TEEN porn on my bf's computer. That makes me feel not good enough. Why do guys watch it, what is so interesting. I cant stand the thought that my bf is watching at other teenagers while the are getting laid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): I was in a stable relationship for five years and did watch porn because I respected my GFs beliefs regarding no sex.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): The real question is why don't you have sex on your period??? I find it surprising you don't because most women tend to be more aroused during their periods. There are also numerous health benefits from having sex during your period. The first two, off the top of my head, are that the contractions produced by an orgasm during your period help you to shed your lining more quickly (thus shortening your period) and also help to relieve menstrual cramps. I'm looking up other health benefits, and they include: "decreased endometriosis, as well as with several other health benefits including a long life; absence of heart disease, stroke, and breast cancer; healthy immunity; regulating the menstrual cycle; pain management; and improved quality of life."
If you're afraid of the mess, it really isn't all that bad, just line the bed with a towel. If you take a 15 minute bath beforehand, you'll bleed even less during intercourse. I hope it's not your boyfriend who's so opposed to having sex during your period... I don't think I could tolerate a squeamish boyfriend. My boyfriend has admitted that my period is actually a serious turn-on for him in a primitive way, and he even convinced me to let him perform oral on me on my lighter days. So there's no excuses for your boyfriend to avoid plain old vanilla sex with you during your period, while other guys are out there happily earning their red wings...
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (15 September 2010):
 I will try this again...
I asked you some questions. The most important one was have you actually offered him blow jobs to replace the porn. You didn't answer, you just told me about how you felt..
If you communicate with your boyfriend by ignoring his questions and just telling him your feelings, you won't get far. A conversation needs you to listen and respond as well as talking and telling.
Crossing my fingers this time...
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73  +, writes (14 September 2010):
 Miamine raises some good questions in her second post on the 13th. You need to ask yourself why it bothers you. For me, it made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Like I was fat, ugly, what have you. But, my fiance reassured me that was not it. Once you figure out why it bothers you, maybe you should talk to him about it. And, if you found it on his computer without him knowing, you may have to admit that to him in order to have a discussion about this.
I loved my man too much to take away this one thing that allows him to please himself and be selfish in his sex. I would rather he was selfish then than when he was having sex with me. It is all about themselves when they masturbate. They do not want to have to worry about whether or not you get off. Don't get me wrong, I was upset by the porn, but after several discussions about it with him, I asked myself why it was an issue. When I couldn't think of a reason why, I let it go. Hopefully, you two can come to an understanding about this.
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A
female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (14 September 2010):
 like a previous poster said..the "teen" porn is just his flavour my fiance's is blow job video's and my brothers is anime(don't ask me how i know that)
my step dad watches interracial(don't ask me how i know that either) and i have a few friends who like transvestite pornography
i would't worry about the underage stuff chances are the title says something like "barley legal" or "preteen something something"
which is probably a lie to get the watches interested
the actresses are probably older than 18
and believe it or not the whole thing about you giving him blow jobs shouldn't that be enough
that will NEVER be enough i do the same thing yet my fiance STILL gets up every morning and watches porn
as miamine said quote on quote "If you can't stand the thought of him watching people having sex, then your relationship will be difficult to continue"
that my dear is very good advice on her part
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A
female
reader, misfitschik66 +, writes (14 September 2010):
Myself and my fiance watch porn together or by ourselves we have a very healthy active sex life
in the end he is still coming to me for sex so i really don't care what he is looking at as long as he is not going out and getting it
surprisingly he has learned alot from watching porn
different moves he saw the actors doing he wants to try with me
which is great! it brings verity into our sex life
it also makes him more turned on so he stops and comes looking for me weather i'm doing the dishes or doing the laundry he goes on the prowl
i know ALOT of woman get very insulted by there men looking at porn and all i can say is just be glad he isn't going out and cheating on you
men think about sex more than woman they could probably go about 10 times a day if us woman would let them
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Have you told him it makes you feel bad? If yes and he still does it it may just be the natural voyuer instinct all men have to watch sex. You shouldn't take it pwersonally. As to the why; There's no answer that will satisfy you. i've tried to explain it often but to no avail.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"if you have sex 7-8 times a week, is it fair to expect him to wait until you are available again." - is 7-8 times a week little? I can't always be with him cause we don't live together. Yes I think it's fear because when he is tired and he gets into bad moods I'm respecting him and I leave him to rest even give him messages. When I'm on my period I CAN'T have sex with him and I'm dying of pain but I still give him bjs. Don't you think I'm giving him enough? What more can I do?
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (13 September 2010):
"But in the night when I'm not there or I'm on my period I see he looks at this teen porn. Why can't he wait 5 days... and in between I give him blow-jobs."
Have you suggested this to him?
Your guy seems respectful, he uses pornography at the times when you are not available, so he doesn't prefer pornography to you.
Also, if you have sex 7-8 times a week, is it fair to expect him to wait until you are available again. He sounds like he is highly sexed, and even though he uses porn, it doesn't threaten your relationship or make him desire you less.
You don't like him looking at naked girls? Why, are you frightened he may stop loving you? Do you think he will stop having sex with you and start wanting them instead? Are you frightened that he will leave you and find a girl who looks more like a pornstar? What is it about his pornography usage that has you so upset?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): Because it's not about sex, as funny as that may sound, it's a quick release. Most of the time we guys masturbate just to pop the juice, to relieve ourselves, not to get sexual satisfaction although it is that too. The closest way I can explain it is when you're dying for a pee and you finally get to a toilet and let loose. It's pretty much the same thing, we can pretty much feel a build up and just get the urge to release.
We use porn then to make quick it and efficient, to us that's all it is. While I love to get BJ's they can take preparation time and effort, sometimes I don't want that I just want to pop one out quickly with no fuss and get on with my day.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLOL ok I'm a teen... I'm 19 years (sorry I didn't mention that I can't fix it on my profile) and our sex life is great, I let him do whatever he wants, we always try new positions and stuff and we have like 7-8 times sex a week. But in the night when I'm not there or I'm on my period I see he looks at this teen porn. Why can't he wait 5 days... and in between I give him blow-jobs.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): The other two posters gave you a reason, I just want to touch on the teen thing.
That's just a genre of porn that he favours, some like the granny, interracial, group etc genres.
Our porn genre does not reflect the kind of girls we date in real life and we guys never compare our girlfriends to women we see in porn. Because to us those women don't exist they're actresses in a film.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (13 September 2010):
Where do you want to sart???
Most guys growing up are never told what to expect when their hormones are going at warp speed. Same as you ladies, where no one tells you about your period and you have to learn the hard way.
Most guys don't know how to control themselves at an early age, so they look for whatever means of learning, and a means of relief from those bottled up hormones.
Hense Masturbation...It may start off as mentally looking at a girl, teacher, and so on. But to see what a woman looks like or to see them having sex in real time...well now.
Most guys watch porn for different reasons...Some because they got into sex to early to understand it's importance.
Some because they like certain girls but are to afriad to try and get one.
Some because of a lack of sex, boring sex, or because they are afriad to ask theor partner for certain things regarding sex...Such as...Anal sex, facials, Oral, and so on.
I normally find that being afriad to as your partner, or a partner's refusal to try something in bed leads to porn. They want to see what it would look like.
A small good thing about porn is...He is not out there trying to really be with a teen. My friend, she give her hubby oral while he watches porn. Her idea...If you can't beat them, join them. They take turns.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (13 September 2010):
1.The teens should be over 18, below that age it's illegal. I think they have to present evidence to prove their age.
2. Since the begining of time, humans have found it arrousing to watch sexual activity, or to read about it. Pornography is stimulating and arrousing for many men and women.
3. It's nothing to do with whether your attractive or good enough. Happily married men and women, men and women in love, still find pornography stimulating. The same as women like romance movies and books, although the still have a guy at home who they love with all their heart. We humans can love and lust at the same time, without it overwhelming us.
If you can't stand the thought of him watching people having sex, then your relationship will be difficult to continue.
Please check on the website, we have many articles and posts about pornography.
http://www.dearcupid.org/category/pornography
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-men-need-porn.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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