A
female
age
51-59,
*opelessinIN.
writes:My husband and I have been married for 10 years. During this time he has done horrible things to me from abusing me sexually, beating me, and causing us to loose everything we own twice. This didn't happen until 3 years into our marriage after he started using crack. Back in April I kicked him out and tried to get on with my life, but found it very difficult as I still have feelings for him even after all the things he has done and the pain he has caused me. My main problem is our sexual relations. I find it very difficult to connect with him, but I want to. I want things to be the way it used to be when we were happy and enjoyed each other. He's always so angry and yells at me on a daily basis because I won't have sex with him when he wants it. I've tried to explain to him that it will take time all he says is if I don't like it get the "bleep" out. My question is. Am I committing slow suicide or is there any hope of getting back what we once had. He has Bipolar and makes living with him very difficult. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): i wud suggest u,if u want things be better! u can give it a try!
i understand the one we love,its tough to leave,no matter wot he does!
try find him some gud treatment from some gud psychiatrists or psychotherapists around
and try convince him tht u love him....may be at the end it goes all well.
though very very tough it is to be with or to leave....creates a dilemma for sure and makes us feel donno wot next!
but if u give it a try, in future u wont regret u even dnt tried!....in future u wil b atleast convinced by urself n satisfied that atleast u tried it to work!...
n rest leave on time!
hope for the best and hav luck!
may ur relation goes all well as b4!!!
tc
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Why are you putting yourself threw this? Your husband is abusing you and still you stay? Do you not think you deserve better? I know that you love him but everyone has a limit to what they can take and huni i would not put up with this, bi- polar is not an excuse to treat anyone the way you say he treats you.
After all this time and the way he treats you i think there is little hope that you will ever get back what you had and the way things used to be. If i were you i think i would get out of this marriage and find someone who loves and respects you and treats you they way you deserve.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 In my view once a man has abused a women he has ceased being a man and shouldn't be given the time of day but I'm "old school" and you sound much younger so my view may not agree with the hip young folks of today. Some women don't mind being mistreated.
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A
male
reader, gigolojone  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 If this guy is addicted to crap and won't treat you like a lady,yells at you then are are slowly committing suicide.
Before you know it,he will get violent and you end up with some really bad scars not only on your heart but your body as well.
If he had changed his ways,it would make sense for you to hang in there with the hope that you can reconnect with him. But according to the way you have laid things out,it is very clear there is no ray of light at the end of the tunnel.
There is always a time to let go and i guess this is the time for you to let go.
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