A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im really confused because me and my boyfriend have just started having sex and just before we do it i feel like i really want it but after i feel confused and worried and feel like he doesnt love me what should i do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 agree with "seeing stars" she has it nailed
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhis really caring and kind before sex but after he just gets out of bed and has a fag or gets something to eat
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): It could be a sign that, although you physically want to have sex, you are still not ready in this relationship to have sex with him. More trust might need to be built first.
I think it can be normal to feel confused and worried after sex, as you probably feel more vulnerable after such an intimate act. Maybe you could ask him to hold you after sex, and spend some time with you. Or let him know that you would appreciate some extra reassurance of his feelings for you immediately after sex.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Can you share with us how he behaves post-coitally, i.e. what does he do after he's ejaculated? That could be the key to understanding this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): These are just normal starting insecurities. :) Just remind yourself of all the nice little and big things he does that he really doesn't have to do to just for you.. Or maybe ask to slow down for a little bit while you get your head together. I was very similar for my first few months, but it does go away and you realize how silly you were being. The transition from nonsexual to sexual can be hard- take it at your own pace, and never be afraid to take a momentary step back. If he loves you, he will understand.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): What should you do? Wait that's what. It's obvious that you aren't ready for it even though you feel read before sex. I say you wait until you fully understand sex and if your bf loves you he'll understand and wait for you until you are ready.
Nightfairy
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Well sex is not love, does he show you in other ways he loves you?
Your reaction is normal if you suspect your being used then you dont have to put up with it unless you want to.
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