A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, basically i am concerned about my mental health as recently i have been thinking about all the porn i have viewed in my lifetime im 19 and started watching it when i was 13, basically i have gone through a variety of it some of which is disturbing i have watched gay(among other similar types) porn and have accepted i could bi sexual/curious so im cool with that but still mainly attracted to women, but the ones that have really f-ed up my mind is ones of older(even granny), violent(different types) and weird things like hookers and women of all shapes and sizes(and i mean all) its like i go though phases of messed up stuff, i used to watch the normal stuff now im turning into a sicko and i hate myself for it, thanks for reading i really need advice whats wrong with me? thankyou.Shaun
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male
reader, PeterNorth  +, writes (19 March 2011):
Your not turning into a sicko, its just experimenting with different types of porn dude. Your a bit older than me but not much, i'm 18 and i've been experimenting with all types of porn to find what i like. And i go through phases, sometimes i'll go nuts for asain porn for a few weeks, then i'll move onto groupsex and orgys, then maybe lesbian. Me and my friends trade, watch and masterbate together over porn DVD's, so between the 4 of us guys we've got huge range covering everything and we all find it fine. I was worried about my cock size and the fact i masterbate with friends, but now we've got some girls joining in on our fun i'm totally fine with masterbating with my friends and being above average in cock size, thinking of even trying more than just jacking a friend off. so dude your normal and its fine dude. :) Peace
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): You guy's are amazing thankyou.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): It does matter that you are watching and fantasizing about this type of thing and that you feel uncomfortable with it, that is a sign to you that this is NOT healthy. The fact that you need to watch more extreme things to be aroused is also a sign that you're developing an addiction. Seeing this kind of imagery and ideas at that age, and any age really, can affect you negatively.
The question is do you want to continue this negativity in your life or do you want to start to have a normal life which is not obsessed with this and in which you start to develop a true sexuality with another human being. Porn is not real sexuality.
And it does matter that you and billions of people are getting off on the abuse of other people, it matters a great deal. Go and read about the abuse in pornography online and read about what many porn "actors", especially women, endure. You can also watch interviews on youtube.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 February 2011):
 Your progression is quite normal. People get bored with the same stimulus and typically graduate to more extreme things to achieve arrousal. The only thing you should be concerned about is if you NEED this in order to get off and if it affects your actual relationships.
If your porn use remains in the world of fantasy, it's not a problem. If it invades your reality, that's an issue.
I've watched just about every type of porn under the sun. Even a couple things that almost made me vomit (albeit those did not excite me). Does that make me a deviant? I'm sure it does to some, but I guarantee most people I interact with on a daily basis would have no clue. That's because I can separate fantasy from reality.
Just like playing a first person shooter isn't going to make most people go on a killing spree, watching some S&M (or whatever) isn't going to make you do that. Hell, I wouldn't even WANT to do a lot of the stuff I watch in porn, but seeing it still excites me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): Ok, I'll be the lone dissenting voice here and say that what you fantasize about DOES matter. If someone constantly imagined something seriously depraved and sickening, seeking out literature and simulated videos depicting this, would the fact they never acted upon this fantasy make it ok?To put it another way, it's perfectly natural to get angry at someone who wrongs you. But to go further and imagine slowly doing something appalling, gruesome and vile in graphic detail, doing it over and over in your mind, would not be healthy... even if you never intended to do it for real. Eventually your thoughts become you. So think of what you want to become.Honestly, you started watching porn much too young, at an age where it can't help but seriously affect your developing mind. At a stage where you should have been learning about true love and healthy sexuality, you were probably learning about repugnant abusive nauseating things instead. If you think this may be turning you into a "sicko" to the point you hate yourself, maybe it's time for a "detox". Cutting out the really repulsive, perverted and violent stuff would be a good start. If it helps, don't think of it as avoiding things you like, think of it as moving towards the healthy person you want to become. Try and visualize that person, your ideal self. Where does porn fit into that picture?
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 February 2011):
 It's normal except the S&M stuff(pain is not a turn on) don't worry, you're not abnormal to be hyper-curious at a young age...just stay away from the pain inducing crap or bondage junk..it'll warep your brain.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): I’m not giving you an anti-porn speech, OK? I’ve watched my share and more. What I am going to do is give you some context from an old guy who’s been through an evolution of porn over the years.So, for starters, we use porn to get off faster. So there’s stuff in your head that works, but you see something that works way faster and it’s like whoa! That was great! And you watch that for a while, maybe it was just a couple doing missionary, and it doesn’t work as fast. So you move out a bit, to something you didn’t think could work for you, maybe that couple brought in a third person. Same deal, huge hit, worked great for a while, but then it doesn’t. So you notch thing up a bit, same, notch it up more, same … You see where I’m going. You can see stuff on the internet that you know for a fact will never happen in your life, but you get bored and still want to notch it up. And it’s very easy to get to a point, given that there’s everything on the internet, where you get both disgusted and get off. And you hate yourself for getting off to it. And you wonder what the next notch up might be.OK, let’s step back to the real world for a sec. I don’t know where you live, but I live in a place that’s cold in the winter. Like starting in September the girls cover up a bit. And a lot more in October. And by November, you might be able to tell that they have nice hair but not much else. And for the next few months not even that. So when spring comes, you start seeing a bit more. You can see again that they have nice hair. Then they’re not wearing heavy coats. And eventually it’s OMG, barely there shorts, tops and stuff. The first really hot-weather day, and you’re seeing this incredible parade of beautiful girls barely covered. It’s an incredible thrill.The point I’m trying to make is that you can back off from porn. The girls on the street that are a huge thrill in May are boring by August. Stop looking at porn, and you’ll get back to “normal” after a while. Ya it takes discipline. You want to get off, you go to the porn site that works for you, and it’s done fairly quickly. What I’m saying is that if you deprive yourself for a long enough period, you’ll get back to being turned on by the tamer, more ‘normal’ stuff. Like a pretty girl on a summer day. But you have to make the decision to deprive yourself. And to make the decision that you want to put your effort into a “normal” relationship with a girl.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): I would say if it upsets you to watch this don't watch it anymore. The media and culture is pushing sexuality on everyone in an unhealthy way imo. The porn industry is horrible, truly. There is a lot of abuse involved in it and each time you watch porn you are contributing to people being abused. People don't like to think about this but it's the truth.
You started watching porn at 13- sorry I don't think this is normal. I'm not saying you're not normal. I'm saying you should be able to develop your sexuality in a healthy way without being exposed to all of this and I'm sorry that you were.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, sam44  +, writes (18 February 2011):
First off, the reason why porn stars act in those porn is because people actually enjoy it. Look at it this way... are people who like horror and gruesome movies horrible serial killers? of course no. its just thrilling to their senses right!, people like stretching their limits and fulfilling their fantasies. Its normal, just make sure you don't get obsessed... obsession with anything serves no good to you. so don't worry bro, just don't try it in real life, know its fantasies.
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female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (18 February 2011):
 You're attracted to the violent/rape videos for the same reason some women have the rape fantasy, that's just what gets you off. Not all people will find this acceptable so don't flaunt it, but don't be ashamed either.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): I half-agree with Aunt Honesty. I think it's pretty common to be turned on by "not-normal" (whatever that means) porn. However, be very careful. It may not "soon pass." I'm not trying to scare you, just being direct: you may have to take matters into your own hands. As a recovered porn addict, I can tell you that the urge doesn't go away on its own. You have to take control. And when you do, you'll feel so much better because you've regained the self-control which you feel you've lost to the porn addiction. Just being able, one time, to NOT watch when you really want to is a HUGE step, and it makes you feel great. The first denial of the urge is the hardest.
If you can, talk to a professional (I'm not). Quitting cold turkey works for some, but in others it makes them feel helpless when it doesn't work. Start small. You can do this! It's worth the effort, so don't give up. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain +, writes (18 February 2011):
Society tells us what "normal" is. When we deviate from what is expected of us, we lable ourselves as "sicko". The truth is, we are just curious, humans have vast imaginations, and we can find lots of different things stimulating. For example, rape is a common fantasy amoungst both men and woman. That doesn't mean that rape is acceptable in any way, it isn't, but men and women fantasize about it a lot.
You are just pushing the boundaries of your sexual imagination, and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact I would say it is healthy, in doing so you will truly discover what you like and don't like sexually, and this is a good thing. Just remember, the more time and energy you spend doing something or developing an area of interest, the more you will be accustomed to desiring it. For example, if you have a predisposition for playing the guitar and enjoying making music, and you spend 6 months of your time, energy, and focus practicing the guitar, you get better and better at it, start to enjoy it more, and become more interested in doing it. If you have a predisposition to violent sexual conduct..... think about whether or not you really want to feed your predisposition and spend time enjoying it.
Learn about yourself, grow to understand what is in your nature, what comes naturally, what you like and don't like, but be wise about what you choose to feed and give your focus and attention. This includes whether or not it is really in your interests to spend time watching any kinds of porn, or how much time to give your attention to sex, at the expense of life's other joys.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): Thanks for the reply other replys are welcome, but i still dont understand how i could be attracted to the violent stuff like rape and others without not being right in the head, i wouldnt do it in real life.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 February 2011):
 Sweetie there is nothing wrong with you, so please do not worry. All young guys and sometimes girls as well like to watch variety and go through stages of experimenting. All of the above types of porn you have mentioned are all pretty normal phases to go through. So dont worry about them as it will soon pass and you will be on to something else so please dont worry that you are different because you are not.
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