A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusoholic
writes:I've been seeing this guy on and off...It all started off when we ended up kissing on his birthday (we were best friends)...and the kiss was so good that we ended up getting frisky a couple of times after that.I fell for him...and even told him but he wasn't sure...and he didn't reciprocate so we didn't see each other for a couple of months.Now he's going abroad for a few months for some work and before he leaves, he wants to see me. He said he has realized that he loves me a lot and that he wants to 'hold me in is arms one last time before he goes'...He also told me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and marry me...He wants us to book a hotel and that i should spend the night with him...i told him i didn't want to...what if it leads to sex? But he said he just wants me to stay with him...I dunno if that's really the case or does he think he can get lucky...i know for one that i don't want to have intercourse with anyone except the one i marry...i am conservative in that way...
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (6 February 2011):
Ah, you just posted a follow up. Sorry about that, answers take a while to get posted on this site. Good for you OP. You seem like a smart and sensible person. Keep trusting your gut, it tends to be right on these things!
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (6 February 2011):
I would be frank with him. You know he's trying to play you and he knows it too. I actually find it quite sad of him to do this, to want to take advantage of you in this way. He's not the good guy you fell in love with. Realize this.
"I have a better idea. Before you go, we'll have dinner together and skip the hotel room. We don't need that in order to say goodbye." If he throws the magic words "marriage" and "love" at you again in an attempt to convince you, tell him: "When you get back we'll see if all those promises of love and marriage still hold up. For now, this will have to do."
This may sound harsh but he needs to know what kind of girl you are and that you will not be swayed so easily. Also, this way you'll find out whether he's genuine. If he gets defensive, jabbering about lack of trust and all that, then you'll know for sure he's trying to play you. Also, there's a big chance that if you go along with this hotel room that you'll end up sleeping with him and he'll discard you when he gets back.
You know when something sounds too good to be true? Well, that's usually because it is.
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female
reader, confusoholic +, writes (6 February 2011):
confusoholic is verified as being by the original poster of the question well yeah, i told him that i'm NOT going to stay with him and he's booked a room for one person only...
So that't that...
Thanks, every1 :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): From what is sounds he wants to get in your pants.If you guys went any further than kissing before you were in a relationship he knows that he can get that from you without being tied down. All guys if they can will have sex with no strings attached.
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female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (6 February 2011):
Do not stand him up. Tell him you like him too because you do. If you live in different cities that is more understandable. Not all men are after sex and since you two were best friends before I do not completely belive he is all about sex. Do not see why he would go to the extent to say he will marry you. I do suggest if you decide to go that you bring a pair of pajamas, longsleeve and long pants so you will reitorate that you two are not going to have sex. Just do not have sex with him. Control yourself enough to say no if he attempts but let him know you like him a lot too. Trust me, if he really wants you he will respect you and just hold you until you two fall asleep. Side note: DO NOT DRINK!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): If you're questioning it, then it's got to be exactly as you think it is...yep, he wants to get laid..plain and simple.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): He just wants to get laid.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): One advice....If you ever get to read catch him and keep him by Christain Carter...He staes that it is very difficult for a man to see a casual relationship turn into a serious one..although a serious one can become casual...If you want a real relationship...Start and make sure that he is clear on what you want from him..All this business about him not being sure is a load of BS....And yes spending the night with him is most definitely speaks of a man with sex on his mind....Run and keep away from him as hard as it may seem....AND YES HE JUST WANTS TO GET LAID...If you are not up for just getting laid...sorry this is the time to pick up your shoes and run
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female
reader, confusoholic +, writes (5 February 2011):
confusoholic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCerberus...you are right...I won't do it.But should I meet him? Or should I just stand him up?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Yeah he's full of shit. Why the sudden change of mind after months of nothing, and a hotel room too?
Come on you're not falling for that "stay with you crap" are you?
You know exactly what he wants and why. I mean come on he's even setting it up by saying he loves you and wants to marry you, so he's already started the process of trying to convince you to sleep with him, he "loves you" and he's "planning" to marry you anyway why not have sex now? You see what he's doing there? "I won't see you for a long time, lets just go for it"
Nice try but no. OP you're not stupid enough to fall for all of this are you, you see all the little signs of his true intentions right? Let me make this clear to you OP, if you're thinking "ah sure I might aswell, I'll just say no if he tries it on" but it doesn't work like that. You might have a few drinks and he might not take no for an answer. All of this after not making any attempt at connecting with you after you told him how you felt. To all of sudden turn around and tell you he'll be with you forever lets get a hotel for the night "I just want to hold you, I swear :P"
Do you really want to spend the night fighting him off and listening to his crap about marriage and love, trying to convince you to have sex with him?
OP he's looking for an easy lay before he goes. You see the plan is get a hotel room with you for the night, try and have sex with you and probably succeed too because he'll try every trick in the book. Say all the right things etc and in the heat of the moment your feelings may overcome you. You see he's sorted, even if it all goes wrong he gets to head off to another country and not face any negative consequences of what he did.
If you agree to this OP you will regret it, you may lose your virginity to a guy that has made no attempt to even start a proper relationship with you.
Don't do it.
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A
female
reader, confusoholic +, writes (5 February 2011):
confusoholic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah even I thought it sounded fishy...so I'll just put my phone down...I don't want to make a mistake and regret it for the rest of my life!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): It only costs him a hotel room for the night to get what he wants and that's it and then he can go off for a long time so there is no pressure for him afterwards as far as meeting your needs. How can he be serious when he'll be gone for months? Losing proposition for you I'm afraid. Wouldn't he have been putting in the time earlier before he left if he had serious intentions?
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male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (5 February 2011):
 This guy sounds like a loser. It is so obvious that he just wants to have sex with you and then not see you ever again. Tell him to see a prostitute if he wants to get laid. He won't marry you. He doesn't give a damn about you.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (5 February 2011):
 It's hard to tell; there's not enough information to make a real good guess...but in either event ...he wants to get laid. That would be the one constant you can rely on.
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (5 February 2011):
 I think you should proceed very cautiously with this man.
True, it was perhaps too soon to speak of your feelings for him, and it MIGHT be that he has come to value you a lot more than he first thought.
By all means see him before he goes abroad, yes, but stay the night at a hotel with him? no, that would definitely not be a good idea........"want to hold you in my arms one last time before I go" sounds suspicious and a red flag to me......
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male
reader, ivanichiaynus  +, writes (5 February 2011):
 Hmm....is he coming back? Or is it a case of Love you and forget?Ivan.
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female
reader, confusoholic +, writes (5 February 2011):
confusoholic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd yeah...i forgot to mention...we live in different cities..
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