A
female
age
41-50,
*oofer1234
writes:Ok? Another question. My man is very selfish in the bedroom. He never touches me in any place. He doesnt do anything dirty. He doesnt do oral, only like once a week and i have to beg for that. He never touches my vagina in any way. LIke he thinks its going to bite him. Ive asked him to talk dirty and he wont. He used to last a long time too. Now its less than ten minutes. I talk to him about it and his answer is, hes never had to do it before so why do it with me. He said i never had complaints in the past. Wow i said those woman must of been pretty clueless on what it was about then. He refuses to venture on my horizons if ya know what im saying. Im just so unsatisfied and have had such great lovers in the past that its making me crazy that he wont change one thing for me. Please give me advice on how to get him to realize im so unsatisfied. Ive even ventured out with an ex and feel like i want to leave him because its that bad. What advice do you have for me???
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female
reader, poofer1234 +, writes (5 February 2011):
poofer1234 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUmmm i dont consider oral as dirty...lol. I mean other dirty things that i wont mention here. And i agree oral should just be a given and foreplay. And yes he told me a few of his exes cheated and i said i definately know why,lol. And can i ad when i do get him to finger me or anything like makeing out. he dont kiss me or ever kiss me passiontely for that matter.He just looks around the room like he hates doing it. Its so dumb. Never had a man that didnt enjoy and get off on pleasing me. He is freakin weird.And we have been together a year annalisa. He should definately be doing things different by now. And i dont compare him to my excellent lovers in the past,lol. But let me tell you its hard not to say something to hurt him tho about them. He is so selfish in every way, not just the bedroom. Its almost like he doesnt know hes doing it.Thank u everyone for your advice and i thibnk i am going to dump him. Not only does he suck in bed, hes a horrible boyfriend who ignores me constantly, yells at me and is always in a bad mood everyday. No matter how sweet i am to him. grrrrrr......
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 I note you equate oral with doing something dirty? If you think that he may feel that(subconciously) It isn't dirty it's just different.Keep begging for it,he'll get the hang of it soon and it'll become second nature to go down on you. we men love it when it makes you women feel good so provide feedback.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 February 2011):
 He's refusing to change because his exes, who left him, didn't complain? Since when were relationships that didn't work out the golden standard for comparison? He's clearly being a selfish jerk (and delusional). He's not with his exes (maybe for this reason?) he's with you and you need something from him. He's being flat out lazy. It sounds like he's never acted otherwise and is clearly telling you he will never ever change. Leave him and find someone who is willing to put in at least a little effort to satisfy you.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (4 February 2011):
I suggest you move on from him, you are flogging a dead horse.. You have discussed it with him but he still isn't willing to change.
If a guy is really in to you, he wants to please you, especially in the bedroom! His exs are probably exs for the exact same reason. Now I am not normally a fan of putting a man down in the bedroom department (something I have never done), but I would seriously be tempted on this occasion to actually tell him "I am bowing out of this relationship because you are a lowsy selfish lover".
There is no way on this earth he is going to change, and should you decide to keep plodding along, you will become extremely frustrated sexually and start to look to other men to fulfill your needs - bow out with your head held high whilst you can.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 February 2011):
Yes - Ditch him.
Think about the facts here. You're totally unsatisfied, and he won't change. The reason he won't change? "I never had to do it before, so why now?" So in other words, he's behaved this way with other women, all of whom have moved on from him (probably for the same reason). You've even ventured out with an ex, and you admit you're feeling like you want to end it. Well do just that. He's made it clear he won't change at all, so pull the rug and find a man who cares for your pleasure.
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