A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, my husband have been treating me very bad he has hitted me a few times and called me names that is too awfull to mention. The thing is im not sure if i feel the same about him anymore, he treats me different towards other women. He will get a chair even a drink for other women. But for me he will tell me get a chair and just sit on ure ass. He doesnt treat me like he use to. No i did not treat him bad. All i do is show him love and respect but why is he being so rude to me? I did try and talk to him he just says i dont have time for your childish confersation you will never grow up :-( These last few months he will say even his favourite dinner i make tastes awfull and he doesnt like my cooking.... He doesnt show any love towards me. When he comes home with a bad mood or just comes home from work. I greet him nicely and wanna kiss him he push me away and tells me just leave me alone before i hit You! So i just go do my own thing and make supper cleaning ect.. I do not complain and i even wanna make love each nite or atleast more than 3times a day sometimes. He use to love that now he doesnt and no he doesnt have a recetion problem he talks dirty on a chat group with other women i told him once why you talking so sex and dirty stuff with the men and women when there is women in the channel show some repect he says they are talking like that also, i told him but that doesnt mean you should join them.. It really hurts me why doesnt he care how i feel? If i would just be friendly with a guy or chat with some one he will ge upset. Please help me what am i doing wrong ? Thanks for every one that is replying and helping me. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sophie45 +, writes (18 June 2011):
I know you love him and its hard, but just go away! leave, seek the advice of friends and family and their support; but leave as soon as possible; you might love him now, but you'll learn to get over it, never tolerate a man who hits you; he hits you once, he'll do it again for sure, probably even worse next time, maybe harm you! a woman doesn't deserve to be hit by a man! leave now!! You'll be glad you did!!!it's an emergency, I say you should leave now, if you have kids, bring the kids with you!!! Leave!!!!
A
female
reader, sophie45 +, writes (18 June 2011):
I know you love him and its hard, but just go away! leave, seek the advice of friends and family and their support; but leave as soon as possible; you might love him now, but you'll learn to get over it, never tolerate a man who hits you; he hits you once, he'll do it again for sure, probably even worse next time, maybe harm you! a woman doesn't deserve to be hit by a man! leave now!! You'll be glad you did!!!it's an emergency, I say you should leave now, if you have kids, bring the kids with you!!! Leave!!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): after he hits you, what is going through your mind? does it hurt? why would someone that loves you want to hurt you? mentally, physically, just for kicks? i asked myself these questions every time. ive been abused in every way imaginable. WHY???? the burning question....WHY? but after awhile, WHY becomes irrelevant, because the pain and suffering is paramount.i love my babies, i love my parents, i love my friends....do i beat them? do i put them down? do i try to hurt them? HELL NO!!! why would i do that to anyone i love? do i look in the mirror and call myself names? would i stick my hand in a meat grinder? NO and NO. at the end of the day, hey IT HURTS, abuse in any form HURTS, and i love me, thats the only person i can count on in this situation, myself. if i could, id come over there, throw him in a closet, and close the door forever. he is mentally ill, and you are wearing the brunt of his illness. all the love in the world wont help him until he learns to love himself, and thats not your problem. YOUR problem is, taking care of YOU, not allowing him or anyone else to hurt you in any way. you need help hun, please please find someone, a counsellor a friend, anyone, to help you get out of there. dont listen to his bulls*#t!!! dont accept it. he doesnt deserve your love right now....possibly never, keep telling yourself that, keep telling yourself youre worth it....you cant honestly sit alone with your thoughts and tell yourself "i deserve to be hit" you know thats not true. abusers are lost, they have to control others to feel better about themselves, to feel superior, and yes, its very sad, but its not your issue. loving him, allowing him to do this to you is only fueling his fire. cut him off.id rather be alone than spend another day with a black eye, hurtfulwords, fear, worry, etc etc. please keep me updated, this stranger cares
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (18 June 2011):
 I am going to second a lot of the opinions here and say this relationship sounds extremely volatile and dangerous. Usually, when a relationship involves hitting and actual physical abuse, I think it is time you really need to consider the relationship over and start considering how to extract yourself from it.At this point, I don't think you can repair your relationship on your own. Even with the best advice, you really need the help of a professional to make it clear to your husband that physical abuse of any kind is not permissible and that he needs help in controlling his anger.Secondly, there is something else going on in that he probably treated you nice during the pre-marital phase and now that you are married, he's "changed". It sounds like the dynamics of your relationship has changed and he needs to understand that he should only be interested in you.In short, you really need to determine if your relationship is salvageable and whether you think your husband can change. I'd encourage you to see a therapist on your own first to discuss what is going on to get a better perspective and also to look at your self-esteem -- people with good self-esteem usually don't tolerate these types of relationships very long.Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): You are doing nothing wrong, you are the victim of domestic violence at the hands of an abusive controlling coward. Your husband is a complete jerk with no self-esteem so he is trying to bring you down to his level by verbally and physically abusing you.He is talking dirty to other women on the Internet to further compensate for his feelings of inadequacy because it's as close as he can get to cheating on you; he wouldn't dare try to meet anyone in person since he knows what a loser he really is, easier to pretend online. If "he has hitted [you] a few times" he won't stop; the abuse and violence will only escalate. Please seek professional help NOW to break the cycle before it's too late. You don't mention children so hopefully you don't have any, but if you do get out NOW as they are as much at risk as you.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 What you are doing wrong, is staying with a man who has hit you already and threatens to do it again.
That's very wrong.
All the rest , the chair, the dirty chats, etc.etc, that's all blah blah blah, it's irrelevant, who cares how and why, when someone starts hitting you , the relationship is beyond repair.
He hits you = you leave him. Plain and simple. That's all.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Any "man" that hits his wife ought to be beat to within an inch of his life. There is NO excuse for hitting a wife. You need to leave him as soon as possible, it will only get worse if you don't.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 June 2011):
The only thing you're doing wrong is staying with him. This guy is dangerous, and he's hurting you because he can. He doesn't love you at all. All he does is hurt you both mentally and physically.
I think you need to leave him and get some serious counselling. This guy is no good for you, and if you're staying it means that your esteem must be very low, and you must be unhappy. Someone who is happy and confident doesn't allow someone to treat them this way. Please get away from him.
...............................
|
