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How can I stop them calling me this nickname?

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Question - (11 July 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hello - can anyone help with this please? It may seem so stupid but..two of my boyfriend's female friends (who he has known for over 10 years and they are married to his best friends) have started calling me a nickname. It isn't a nasty one, just another name (my name is Samantha and they have started calling me JoJo). This started because when they first met me one of them accidentally called me Joanne (nothing nasty, just a mistake) and it seems to have stuck. The thing is, I could handle it if it was just those two, but over the past few months they refer to me as JoJo whenever we are in company and introduce me as JoJo to people we have just met, at a party etc. I mentioned to my boyfriend that I hated it - why don't they call me my name ? - but he thinks I'm making a big thing of it and that they will get tired of it after a while. It's been a year now and they still do it. I'm really not sure how to stop it without offending them, or whether to ignore it and grit my teeth? thanks for reading xx

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (11 July 2011):

eyeswideopen agony auntHey great answer there Corky!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (11 July 2011):

Tisha-1 agony auntI like mystiquek's solution. Just smile brightly, say, "I think these two have an affectionate nickname for me. But the name I prefer to use is Samantha."

And when you have the chance, just say simply, "I know that the name JoJo has been used for the past year, but honestly and truly, I really don't care for it. I would like to be called by my name, which is Samantha." Smile sweetly and then do not ever respond to the name "JoJo" again. Just ignore them entirely when they call you that name. If it persists, tell them again, calmly, "My name is Samantha, I don't respond to JoJo as it is not my name." Smile. Be firm. Perhaps think of them as slightly mentally deficient toddlers and this will help you as you try to discuss it with them.

You don't need to make a big deal out of it, just low-key, quietly, calmly reiterate, "my name is Samantha. My mother was adamant that we never use nicknames, so that has stuck with me."

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (11 July 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntSo you mentioned it to your boyfriend but not to the two women that do this? How do you expect them to stop doing something they don't know you don't like?

And when they introduce you as Jo-Jo do you say to the other person "hi I prefer Samantha" or do you just sit back and let these two women control your naming?

My name is Nessa. I don't mind being called Nes or Nes-Nes but I LOATHE Nessie. and anytime someone calls me Nessie they are strongly and SHARPLY corrected from step ONE... I had a BOSS who liked to call me Nesopotamia... it was done lovingly... but I HATED it. and I asked him to STOP... and he APOLOGIZED.. he had no idea it bothered me.

How do these girls know that Jo-Jo bothers you?

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2011):

angelDlite agony auntjust tell them you it gets on your nerves. they probably think you find it as funny as they do, it will be probably a hard habit for them to break now and they will probably slip up the odd time but hopefully eventually they'll get over it!

if you don't say anything, nowt will change (and it should come from YOU, just a friendly reminder, don't get your boyfriend to tell them) whenever they call you jojo, say 'samantha' and if they ever try to get your attention by saying 'hey jo-jo' just totally blank them and don't even look up/turn around

x

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (11 July 2011):

mystiquek agony auntI'd say you are a saint if you've been putting up with this for a year! I don't think anyone likes to be called by the wrong name, I know I don't. There's 2 things I can suggest: First, next time you see one of the ladies, be direct and firm but polite and say "You know, I know its been a joke, but I'd REALLY appreciate it if you would call me by my right name. Can you do that please?" Maybe they really do think its funny, but after a year? Come on, enough is enough....

If you don't feel comfortable with that, at least when they introduce you to others..laugh, hold your hand out and say "Gosh, I don't know who Jo Jo is...my name is Samantha"....Yeah..I think they'll get the hint..

I wish you all the best. I disagree with your boyfriend...enough really is enough.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011):

Well, I think since you don't like it, you should tell them. But do it smoothly, like bring it casually into the subject you are talking about, so they will have to answer you. Just tell them that if they really want to call you something besides your name, it has to be something related to it. Like Sam or something :)

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 July 2011):

olderthandirt agony auntThat's so juvenile the only way to fight fire is with fire. make up silly nickname for them and reply with,"Hey bo-bo.etc.

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