A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:To give head or to not give head? That is the question.Okay, talk about an icebreaker! Here's my situation. I've been dating a guy officially for a month this coming Saturday. Before officially dating, we casually dated for another month. Within the last week, we've become a little.. more frisky with one another and there has been some feeling up with and without clothes. However, nothing serious has happened. No oral or actual sex. I'm 20 and have a little bit of experience under my belt, as I've dated another guy seriously, but I waited months upon months to do things with him. We didn't have oral sex until six months into our relationship and penetrative sex came a couple of months afterwards. My current boyfriend is 21 and...well, he doesn't have any experience at all.So, what exactly am I bleeping asking?! I get really excited when I please my man--not any man, but a man I care for and am dedicated to. Sure, it hasn't been very long since the boyfriend and I got together, but I have this gigantic desire to give him head. I've never felt so wildly sexually attracted to someone before, but I'm left wondering if my heart or my loins is doing the talking. Since I have experience and he doesn't. I just don't want to come off slutty or as if I've done this one hundred times before. I like him a lot and just don't want to mess up.Ladies, how long do you (or did you) usually wait to service your boyfriend(s)? Should there be a proper timeline to this or do you just do it when you feel it? How do you avoid being cast in a negative light?Guys, is there a time that is too soon for a girl to do this to you? What's your general opinion on girls who do this? Would this happening a month into a relationship be viewed positively or negatively? Also, got any tips for how to make the event explosive and my guy see stars?Also, something more graphic that I've been wondering: Too swallow or not to swallow? Any opinions on that?Thanks for any and all advice!!! I appreciate it so much!
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 July 2011):
 Well I'm undoubtedly old school with decades of oral sex experience. While my first bj was not quite as early as one mentioned by "olderthandirt," I was fortunate to have a number of oral girlfriends by about 1965 - and many since.
But for us, it most always began with fairly typical sex a time or two, then with me moving down on her first. I've always felt that most of my girlfriends (and a couple of wives) through the 1960s and 70s were inspired to give me head based primarily on my desire to please them orally as well as with vaginal insertion.
So for me, oral pleasures have always been mutually shared, and always to full climax for both. Although I've never demanded or even asked, all the girls and (older) women I've known just took it down. Anything else would seem messy, and none ever complained about that.
A
male
reader, MugenTj +, writes (17 July 2011):
 It seems to me a lot of people ask all kind of relationship question because they are dating the wrong type of person, as I used to do, or they themselves have issues. But when you ask for an advice, people won't say that you have issues to be polite.
If you are a slut, you will have a hard time concealing it.
If you are not a slut, he is jerk for thinking you are one.
In general just take time with a person. Do things in small steps, see how they react and deal with it in a reasonable manner. Be ready to accept any outcome. The worst case is that you find out this person isn't made for you.
I'm in a very happy relationship (amazing sex!) and this is what I do:
Hope but don't expect
Insist but don't impose
Tease but don't insult
Express but don’t show off
Exchange but don't trade
Care but don’t obsess
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A
male
reader, alex74 +, writes (17 July 2011):
 I'd say go for it. But try to give his inexperienced self an ego boost if you can. Guys with less experience can sometimes need to feel special when their partner has been with others and they have not. As far as swallowing goes, it has never been something I've wanted. That stuff is nasty and I sure wouldn't want to kiss a girl afterwards. I am flattered by spitters, though. They want the end to be great and are willing to keep going until their partner is done.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (16 July 2011):
you will not come off as slutty if you give your boyfriend head he will love it all men do i was with my boyfriend for 6 weeks lol when we gave each other oral
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 July 2011):
 Ahhh....first, you two are in a relationship that is going in a forward direction. You sound like you're comfortable enough to take it further sexually. Since you're ready, it'll be your boyfriend who is the one to signal whether or not he's ready. Have a talk with him and tell him how you feel, and see if he's interested in taking a few more steps. He's probably scared of not performing right as well as worried about what you'll think of his sexual prowess. To him, this is brand new territory.
Rest assured, you won't come off as slutty. You've been dating for a bit, and you're already heading in that direction physically. You do not have to compare your relationship with him to how it went last time with your ex. In fact, every relationship is different!
You also genuinely care for him, and your desire to give him head stems from a desire to please him. Talk to him about how you feel, and if he's ready, take it one step at a time! If he's not, help him feel reassured that you'll wait as long as it takes.
For me, it took different times with different people, so I couldn't give you anything concrete to compare it to. With the guy who became my husband, he was inexperienced, and we took it pretty slowly. I was more experienced than him, but it was so exciting that for me, it still felt like the first time. We waited about 5 months, and I let him set the pace...and we went slowly. The journey is just as exciting as the destination when it comes to exploring each other's bodies, and the fact that there's an emotional connection helped out greatly.
One way to make it really explosive is to "edge" him, meaning to slow down and allow the sexual tension to build and build, and when he finally goes "over the edge" so to speak, the release is mind-blowing. Remember, he may be inexperienced with you, but it's a good bet that he's been masturbating, so he knows which sensations lead to what.
As for your more graphic question, that decision is yours and yours alone. Some like to swallow, others don't. My opinion is that it matters greatly what the guy's been eating and drinking. I tend to prefer not to myself, but I've always been a picky eater! I've heard that guys love it when there's swallowing. That's something to have fun exploring with your guy. He'll let you know what he likes, that's for sure!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): Well I was 23 before I did anything sexual for the first time. I was given oral... It was a couple of months in. We were on the couch watching tv and it got to a romantic part in the movie which motivated us to be romantic with eachother. Anyways, it really did show her appreciation and attraction towards me when she did that. She asked, which made it easier for me to say yes. Didnt help that we were rubbing all over eachother and were making out but it was something that was really easy for me to dive into, even though she was the one doing the diving. Lol, sorry. Uhm, not to sound too perverted or anything but it kind of shows you how much you like this guy if you swallow. Wow this is getting weird. But if you make the guy feel good and then basically clean up for him....you cant go wrong in that, just dont try to kiss him afterwords..
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 Let me think back; it was 1962 1st date,drive in movie...got hot & heavy, she went down on me...we've been married 47 years next month(never too soon but never enough)
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