A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this isn't a relationship question or anything, but I could do with some help?I'm 20 years old and having some insecurities with myself. I'm 5ft 4 and 10st, a UK 12-14 and hate it. My breasts are a size 34G and and cause me constant pain in my back, neck and shoulders. Needless to say it's really difficult to find clothes that fit. I've tried dieting and excersising and joining a gym, but nothing seems to keep the weight I lose off. I walk about 3 miles a day too. I have a boyfriend of over a year. I love him lots. But I constantly see him checking out other women and commenting on how gorgeous they are. He says I'm beautiful, but how can I believe him when he's like this?I'm not a self pitying person. In fact, for the most part I'm a happy confident person. But everytime I diet I end up putting back on every single pound. I'm sick of it, and just want to get on with my life. Any advice?
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (1 July 2011):
The number one predictor of gaining weight is dieting. In other words, in the long run, dieting leads to weight gain. Losing weight is really really REALLY simple, but the thing that people struggle with is the will power to do what needs to be done. To lose weight you only need to do 3 things: eat healthy foods, eat less (smaller portions), and exercise.
Healthy foods can be healthy and delicious, they don't have to be healthy foods you don't like. Eating less means eat smaller portions at any time, but you don't have to go hungry. For some people they just eat 80% of what they usually eat, some people eat smaller portions more frequently during the day (like 6 meals rather than 3). We generally eat far more in our society than what is required, and it can take a little time to learn that we don't have to eat as much as we do. If you like to drink alcohol, drink less too. Exercise means the right kind of exercise. Often what is required is INTENSITY of exercise. If you walk 3 miles and you walk with intensity, you will notice a big difference to plodding for 3 miles.
Our eating patterns are often emotionally based, or enforced, it can be hard to make changes sometimes without help. Try a few things and see what works for you. Eating well, exercising, and enjoying life should all be fun, and part of a successful life. Don't do anything that you find you don't enjoy in the long run.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 June 2011):
 self analysis is good but reaching unatainable goals is frustrating. If you truely are happy then diet not.
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A
female
reader, RainyJune +, writes (30 June 2011):
Hi, i thought id put my experience of dieting in. I reaserched it heavily after i had my third baby and wanted to slim back down. My partner also helped as he is an ex body builder and all clued up. :)Dieting can be difficult especially if you try and cut out too many calories. This sounds weird but if you start to lower your calorie intake too much your body begins to think their is a food shortage and so rather than fat, your actually loosing muscle mass and your metabolism drops right down. As soon as you start creeping your calories back up your body immediatly hoards as your metabolism is so slow hence why the weight piles back on. I had several experiences of this until i began to believe it :/ The ONLY way to lose weight and keep it off long term is to raise your metabolism. This isnt too difficult but it involves some exercise. You dont need to worry about running 10 miles or anything. If your body temperature raises (you get hot and sweaty) and your heart rate increases then you are doing what you need to do. Obviously fitter people DO need to run 10 miles to achieve this but if your not althetic person then you may find a brisk walk will do this. The trick is to try and keep the hot and sweaty phase for about 20 minutes for your body to kick in and start burning fat instead of the stored calories.If you do this 3 times a week you will also need to regulate your food intake. To further raise your matabolism you should eat small healthy meals 3 - 4 times a day to keep it running high. My partner described this like a cup. He said imagine you have a jug full of water and one cup. The jug represents your daily calorie intake. If you pour the whole jug into the cup it will overflow. The overflow of you having one big meal instead of smaller ones just get directed into stored fat. If you fill the cup up over several small goes then there is no overflow :) Hope this helps, it did me! All the best xxx
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A
female
reader, kittykins +, writes (30 June 2011):
 I can't help you much with the breasts I'm afraid. But, I can help you with the dieting issue. I don't want to advertise here... but, give Slimming World a try. It really works. I've lost 10 1/2 lbs in just over a month! It's really flexible with what you can it, and it's actually surprising what you can actually eat loads of and stay slim:) The groups are brill, and offer great support. You can also make many friends that are in the same boats as you, and encourage each other to lose weight together. As for the insecurities issues. I really do feel for you, love. We all have insecurities to some degree. What you need to remember is that you are beautiful inside and out, and that your boyfriend loves you very much. If he didn't, he wouldn't be with you:) Men always check women out. Some don't know they're doing it, some are terrible for it. It's just one of those things you have to learn to live with, it's hard, I know. It drives me insane, but there's nothing much you can do about it. Men are very visual, and like looking at things. Whereas we are good at listening and talking:p Good luck, my dear:)I hope all goes wellxx
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (30 June 2011):
 Ouch, 34G, no wonder you get pains in your back... At 34F i'm not too far off so i can imagine how you must be feeling. First off (you probably know this anyway) it's important that you wear a proper fitting bra. I used to go to La Senza for my bra's but I'm actually finding Debenhams better at the moment, and I love the huge range of sizes they offer. Secondly, is a reduction something you might be interested in? In some cases, if big breasts are causing a big problem - i.e back pain etc, you may actually be able to get this treatment on the NHS. It's something you'd have to talk to your GP about, he/she may also be able to offer you other advice on how to deal with the pain.
As for diets... It's no good going on a diet for a certain period of time and then stopping, that never really works. The key is to come up with a healthy balanced diet - something that you stick to permanently together with a routine of exercise. Even if you don't lose much weight, it's still healthier for your body.
I don't really know what else to say but I hope this helps a little.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (30 June 2011):
 Yes.
Go and find a book called 'Primal Blueprint' on Amazon. Buy it and read it. Do what it says. Then all will be fine and great, you will be your ideal weight and live happily. I promise you.
It is a guy in California who has done loads of research about how non-civilised humans lived in the wild (basically, cavemen and women!), and has worked out how we can pretty much live the same way now, within reason. It is really easy to follow and really positive and effective. You have nothing to lose - give it a try!
And good luck. And don't worry. You can totally do it.
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A
female
reader, Shelley Harris +, writes (30 June 2011):
 Hi,This is a relationship question, I can empathise with how you feel. There are many people that don't feel comfortable with their bodies. You say each time you just put the weight back on. Do you know why? Do you revert to the same eating habits? Have you changed your eating habits? Do you eat out a lot? For me to help you I would have to know more about what you are doing and more importantly HOW you are doing it. This is also tied up with beliefs about yourself and your self esteem. It's not just as simple as dieting, that's why the weight doesn't stay off. Incidentally you can't be overweight if you don't have a lifestyle that supports it. It sounds like you may need to change a few habits too. My advice seek out specialist help, i.e a slimming group, a weight loss coach, but someone or a group of people that want you to succeed as much as you do, you need to have a support network around you it's easier then to be successful. Good LuckShelley
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