A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I took a tennis class and this pretty woman walked up to me during the first one and said, "Hi Bob! I lost your e-mail address!" I replied that it was no big deal and I'd give it to her again. She then said to me, "Err, no, that's okay," etc.I was really offended. I mean I wouldn't have cared if she never e-mailed me or didn't want to play tennis, but I found it very rude to come up and tell me she had lost my address when she didn't want it!Anyway the big problem is that this happened last summer and I just keep finding myself thinking about this minor incident and how offended I was. [I guess I'm lucky that at the moment I don't have worse things to worry about!]Thanks! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thought of another thing to add: I had given my address to a bunch of people after a different tennis class months before. I can't remember if it was later that same night or later in the class, but the woman who told me she had lost my address (and I had never heard from by e-mail) actually asked if I had played with any of those other people! What a weird question IMO.I told her that yes, I had played with one woman who was realllllly nice. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everybody, you made me feel a lot better!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 March 2014):
 Don't we want to give this lady the benefit of doubt ? Couldn't it possibly have been just some miscommunication or misunderstanding ? It does not make much sense to me that she would tell you "I have lost your e-mail but that's ok because because I do not intend to communicate with you at all ". She would have just kept quiet and - never e-mailed you.
You say that this was the first tennis class , but she already knew your name and you had ALREADY exchanged e-mails prior to that, so the offence ( or lack of it ) would depend from prior circumstances, how , why, and when you gave her your e-mail.
I don't know ... she might have meant " Hey Bob, I have lost your e-mail.... so YOU will have to e-mail me ", wink wink , batting lids - meaning that she wants YOU to get in touch first- she could have been encouraging you , actually, and your answer could have cooled her enthusiasm.
Or, more simply, you were on a tennis court, taking a class, - probably she did not a have a pen or smartphone on herself right then, and it was not the right time, maybe all she meant " Don't worry , it's not urgent, you can give me your e-mail again some other time whenever it happens".
Why necessarily assuming that a quasi-stranger would go out of her way to sneer at you with " I lost your email but I don't care because anyway I would never email you to save my life "?... That sounds like something a 12 year old would do. So I think there must have been some miscommunication and she did not mean it exactly in the way you took it.
Anyway, the conclusion is the same. Yes, you are a lucky guy if this is the main of your worries :). It happened last summer !, let it go, and accept that as much you can objectively be an outstanding, worth- knowing-better person - not the whole world will see you this way and will be interested in you. Their loss:).
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (31 March 2014):
 I'm a very sensitive person. I've been that way my whole life. I have been so hurt and offended by off the cuff careless and thoughtful remarks that people have made to me. Its taken me years to learn that it DOESN'T MATTER unless YOU MAKE IT MATTER. Some people are just crude, crash, no manners etc...Don't let them get to you. You've got to have a tougher skin and just let it roll off of you.
She was very rude thats for sure, but all she was doing was showing her true colors. Why let someone like that ruin your day let alone weeks/months of your time?
If you feel snarky, when someone makes a stupid/rude comment you can always make one back. I'm not really the type to do that, but hey, if a person is stupid enough to be that rude, you don't have to be nice back, right?
I tend to take the higher road and just shake my head and laugh. That tends to REALLY bother someone and shows them how insensitive or dumb they are.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 March 2014):
 Sounds like a clumsy error on her part and a stammering realization that she looked foolish. Life's too short to lose sleep over it.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (30 March 2014):
 It was rude and unpleasant, and those types of things do stay in our memories. But try to focus on all the pleasant people and experiences you've come across in life, even if it's just someone who gave you change for a parking meter or some other act of kindness. Try to focus on the positives of humankind. She's clearly not worth any more brain effort: just one rude, unpleasant person.
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reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 March 2014):
 "Sounds" to me, like she was trying to spiritually castrate you - in front of the others - and succeeded because YOU think that this exchange actually MEANS something... when it DOESN'T....
Do you know how to not give a hoot about stupid things that you have experienced in your life???? If not, then contact me, directly, and I will set you straight....
Good luck...
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2014): Bad hurtful remarks often stick with us. She was extremely rude saying that, she could of simply said hello or nothing at all. I don't know why she would say it like that, it was almost like she wanted to hurt you. Be glad she did lose you're email, she sounds like a mean nasty person.
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (30 March 2014):
 She sounds like a complete bitch to be honest, I'm sure you must have more going on in your life than to worry about that idiot? X
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2014): Wow. That was rude of her. I mean, why simply not e-mail and let you figure out that she wasn't interested in e-mailing? I mean, I've not called/not e-mailed only to have people ask me point-blank if I was ever planning to or if I was just planning to leave them hanging. (Awkward, and there's no "right" answer to that) but it doesn't sound like that is the case. I've ruminated over little slights like that before, from a long time ago. I once asked a girl if she had a boyfriend and she responded with, "none of your business". I was mortified and all her friends sat there and laughed at me. At 30 years old, I felt like a kid with his fly open. It still annoys me to this day that she would have been so rude but there was nothing I could do about it and she made me look stupid! The sad thing is, she was REALLY nice and friendly and flirty up until that point so it wasn't like she was a stranger!I don't think it's about you personally, she's just a really rude person who doesn't stop to think about people's feelings. You're lucky you're NOT talking to her. Next time someone does something like that to you, just shrug and say, "Good thing I didn't waste any time then. Have a nice day" Any decent woman would be pretty embarrassed to get that sort of response. Trust me, I've done that more than once. (Not that I would yell "HOW'S IT FEEL!?")
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