A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am married for my second time and feel I may have made a major mistake. She is a teacher and on the surface seemed to be the kind of person I was looking for. She was into family as at the time we both had kids about the same age at that time my youngest was. 9 . We dated off and on for about two years during one of times we had just started seeing each other again she came to me and told me she had trichomonasis and it was caused by using wet towels ect but we both had to be treated to make sure it did not reoccurs so I called my dr and he called me a script in and I had never heard of it so I had no reason to doubt her well later on after we decided to get married I find out it is one of the most common forms of STDs. But I felt it was too late and we had been seeing other people so no big deal until last year. She started working later and later and one time she was staying late and I decided to take a coffee to her and she wasn't there so I thought well she must be headed home so I went ahead home and when I got there she wasn't there about a hour later she came home. Since then I had found evidence that she might be seeing some one else while I don't have solid proof she has done something I have seen some signs like at Christmas time she came home with an expensive box of candy that she said one of her second grade students gave her , plus sex has stopped between us and she stopped having me go to school functions that she would have been upset if I missed. I am not sure if I should confront her or try to find more evidence , please help
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 January 2014):
 THe mind can conjure up most anything so why not wait for actual proof positive before ruining a good thing?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2014): Sorry guy, I've been in your shoes and I'm in your age bracket. If you suspect it, it's probably true. You can do your own investigation, get a cheap GPS recorder and put it in her car, I did. After I downloaded the info where she really was and started watching the area, I caught and confronted her and my friend Tom, caught them hand in hand. We divorced. One little lie she thought went unnoticed blew the lid off. I'm still deeply hurt and this happened to me ten years ago.
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A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (13 January 2014):
Sex stopping between partners can be a sign of cheating .Get more evidence,you have every right to know what's going on and where you stand.I hope to God for your sake she's not one of these teachers having a sexual liaison with one of her pupils which would have major repercussions for her, even a prison sentence.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 January 2014):
 You could get sneaky and buy a voice activated recorder (they are around $30 at Radioshack) and put it under her seat in her car.
You could check her phone bill - get a itemized printout. (if you share phone plan).
Expensive chocolate from a 2nd grader? I would doubt that too if I were you, UNLESS the parents happen to own or run a candy store type thing.
No sex, that would big a bigger clue, though that could be chalked up to menopause too.
I would snoop a bit more before bringing it up.
Kind of sound like it could be another teacher? Since she is no longer asking you to come to functions?
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A
male
reader, Geta +, writes (13 January 2014):
Find more evidence. Hire PI to get the evidence so you can win in the court during divorce.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (13 January 2014):
 I think you have enough evidence. You certainly have enough to raise doubt.
Talk to her, tell her what you have noticed, ask her to explain. If she blows up in your face, it could mean she is covering something up. She, at least needs to explain why the sex has ceased.
It's making you unhappy, I cannot see the point of not confronting her, but keep your cool. If she is cheating but wants to resolve her issues, things could be worked on, but if she denies it, she needs to reassure you that there is nothing happening.
Keep calm and confront her!
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