A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Why do guys string along lots of women at once?I know this middle aged guy who's about to get married (to his dying fiancé) and has kids, and he has loads of women adoring him at work and is sleeping with many women from work. He's not attractive in my eyes, not physically attractive, he has a nasty personality, so nasty to everyone, but yet women love him. Including this stunning girl I work with who's married to a stunning guy.But why does this man sleep with women at work if he's getting married and why is he marrying someone he isn't happy with? And why not just be happy with one woman? From what I hear he's just stringing along a few women, sending them little messages trying to make them feel like he's interested but then seeing women behind the other women's backs?! So he's essentially cheating on the people he's cheating on his fiancé with, lol. I'm confused as to why a guy would do this ? And how his conscience would not tell him it's wrong. His to-be wife is terminally ill they say she only has about 5-10 years left if she doesn't get an operation.
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male
reader, Mr Clark  +, writes (2 April 2014):
His life sounds like one huge slow motion train wreck. Some women find train wrecks attractive. If you observe the situation over a longer period of time, I'm willing to bet that almost no one involved in the train wreck will find lasting happiness.Based on the very limited information in your post, I don't think it's possible to know with any degree of certainty why this particular person behaves in this way. Even if it were possible to come up with an in-depth psycological profile of this person and the women he's involved with, is that really the answer you're looking for?There are plenty of people in the world who live their lives lurching from one disaster to the next for all sorts of reasons. To my mind, the real question is do you want to live your life like that? You only have control over your choices. Other people have to make their own choices and they have to live with the consequences.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 March 2014):
 The first thing you need to learn is that just because ONE person finds another attractive does not mean everyone will. Being stunning in looks is not the only reason to find someone attractive. Some physically attractive people have ugly personalities. But others may find their personalities a good fit for them. Once you find a person attractive personality wise, their physical attractiveness for you will also change. This is why some men think that a plain woman is stunning. They love her for her insides and it makes the outsides gorgeous. The movie “Shallow Hal” was great as comic relief to show this.
Secondly NOT all guys do this. IN fact, to be honest MOST men do not do this. IN addition, SOME women will do it too. I think personally that folks that need LOTS of attention from members of the opposite sex do so out of lack of self-esteem. They don’t like themselves so they allow others wanting them to substitute for self-love.
As to why this particular man does it I do not know. As to why he’s not marrying someone who makes him happy, again that’s on him. And her. I have learned over the years that keeping my nose out of other people’s love lives is the safest way to go.
IN addition being told that you will die in 5-10 years without an operation is NOT terminal. That’s just DRAMA. A TERMINAL illness is having a disease that has NO CURE that will cause DEATH in 6-12 months.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2014): The same reason women don't seem to mind breaking a woman with a terminal illness's heart by sleeping with her man and maybe even passing on STD, one which theoretically could kill her faster or complicate her treatment.
He's scum and those women are scum too.
It's simple, OP, some people put sex so high up on their list of priorities that they don't care who they hurt to get it.
Just make a mental list of the dickheads and stay away from them, they deserve neither your time nor your respect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2014): First of all, there aren't as many men like that as you're implying. I realize what you're saying is just a generalization; and based on a personal-observation.
So I can respond just as generally; based on personal-observation, and some eye-witness accounts.
Often women hear rumors like you did and they want to find out first-hand if any of it's true. Some women are just as bad as those men; and enjoy the company of men like that.
Guys can only string women along that want to be. They are using him, just like he's using them. They're no angels.
They are usually the next woman cheating on the last woman he was with. So they are really two-of-a-kind.
It's symbiotic. They prey on each other, like host and parasite. Sometimes a lady just wants to play with fire.
They cry foul when they get burned or exposed.
They don't care if there are other women. They just pretend the didn't know, so he looks like the jerk; and they're just victims of his lies and deceit.
They check his phone, laptop, and go through his pockets. They know exactly what he is; but don't want to be judged by others. So they pretend he pulled the wool over their eyes if they get caught. They rat him out, if he scorns them for any reason. He doesn't care.
Sometimes innocent bystanders do get hurt. Usually because bad-boys are more appealing than boring old nice-guys.
Players usually have game, money, power, or they are well-endowed. They know how to please women sexually and play mind-games. They are savored by drama-queen who likes to get played. He feeds her craving for drama, and gives her the live-drama reality show she lives for.
I'd say they are all happy together, and meant for each other. Somehow they seem to find each other very easily.
If you hear the rumors, stay as far away as you can.
You don't want to be pulled into the gravity. These guys usually aren't that great looking. They have animal-attraction. Women seem to like that.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (31 March 2014):
 This comment explains it all about your whole post. He's not attractive in my eyes, not physicallyattractive, he has a nasty personality, so nastyto everyone, but yet women love him.Including this stunning girl I work with who'smarried to a stunning guy. You appear to want to be able to finesse women and people the way he does. I read from this comment to you like the couple or one of the members of this stunning couple thats into him you claim. I would suggest you mind your own business and aim to play your role and position if you do that you have no time to be concern with what he has going on and who he is married to dating or flirting with. It may be enough of him to go around he has a purpose and plan get your life. Dont be to into his. Its a mystery. He may not be stringing no one remember you always have to have willing participants. If not the show is over and no lights camera or action will happen. Lol If you want to know how he does it ask we know not cause we ask not also. Those that know speak not and those that know not speakth. Wink wink.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 March 2014):
 Are you really confused? or do you really just want to elicite a bunch of misogonistic rants? Look we men are oportunistic animals. IF liasons present themselves we for the most part take advantage of the opportunity presented. In other words, Men are not all trolling for or actively pursuing an affair. So, the question could be, "Why would numerous women make themselves available to a man who is obviously "spoken for?" And no I'm not defending the creepoid you are speeking about, however, I'll bet he's only human. And if you think any man is going to pass up a tumble in the sheets when there's a maiden that is requesting said tumble, then youmay be too niave for words
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 March 2014):
 It's most interesting... how women "respond" to a man who has "equipment" which is quite in keeping with the tools that a miner uses to find gold, in a seam......
As one who so suffers, I can assure you that we (such men) try to accomodate as many of these women as we can... hoping that those who are left out of our romantic stipulations will figure out how to live on, nonetheless...
C'mon... stop trying to make us (Aunts and Uncles) believe that the are girls who haven't figured out the shallowness of mens' goings-on!!!!!
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 March 2014):
There aren't that many guys who would behave this appallingly to be honest. He's not worth anyone's time. More than anything it raises real questions about the women as well. To be honest, they all sound pretty shocking and pathetic. My advice is to avoid the lot of them.
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