A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Im in a relationship with a man who has been in a twenty yr relationship ...When we first met he told me about her. I am 43 and he is 65 yrs of age.Besides the fact of the relationship he is in.. He treats me so kind.. upmost respect ..supports me ..buys me whatever I want ,, we go on trips,,, shopping sprees you name it.He is perfect except for the relationship.. He tells me that he has been unhappy for over ten yrs,,, his old lady has breast cancer or had it,, so often whenever I get stubborn and complain to him about his relationship he tells me that the only reason y he is with her is for total support.. they dont have sex,, he says they havent been sexually intimate for seven or more yrs... he claimed when we first met which i asked,,if they sleep togetherin the same bed.. he says yes but theres completely nothing goin on,, that theres like a straight line right in between them weve been seein each other goin on three yrs now hes tellin me now that its at the point where she does not want to sleep together in the same bed so now he sleeps on the couch,, so he say... I ask him well dont you get horny? he tells me its been like that for so many yrs that its a turn off he says he doesnt feel he has to force himself on anyone ... he often tells me thats when i come in ,, for happiness..weve been going back and fourth to virginia he is getting a house built for me well the house is goin to b in me and his name ,, we are goin to c a lawyer to make sure it stays that way.. I live in brooklyn... I often give him a hard time with my jealous rages and act a fool.. he call me psycho... but he always say how much he loves this psycho..LOL....Should i stop the jealous rage ,,, Am i foolish ? or should i deal with it Talk me me oh,, weve been together for three yrs
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013): I am with Masquerade711 100%. If he cheats on her with you hell cheat on you with someone else.
Get out of this situation before you cause yourself more pain.
You need to find someone who gives YOU 100% not 50/50 with someone else.
(PS: DO NOT buy that he is not also sleeping with her, and do not assume you are the only girlfriend.)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2013): OP, I think you should re-read your question as if it was somebody else's question. What would you think of that person? Would you think they were a decent person for being with a married man? Do you think it comes across like this person is only with this man for his money? Now, put yourself in the shoes of his wife, married for 20 years to a man who had been cheating on her for the past 3. Has cancer & who also hasn't had an intimate relationship with her husband for 7 years...must be lonely & depressing. Don't you feel sorry for his wife? Don't you feel bad for what you're doing to her? It's not just up to the man not to cheat, as a fellow woman you have a responsibility to look out for other women. If more women acted like ladies maybe more men would be inclined to act like gentleman. You need to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, what sort of person do you want to be?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 October 2013):
 He apparently enjoys your jealous rages so I guess you shouldn't stop having them. Are you foolish? All the way to the bank. Does that answer your questions? A word of advice though, I'd take my tarts while they are being passed cause I think this gravy train is going to be coming to a halt in the very near future.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (4 October 2013):
 I noticed that not once did you mention that you love or care about this guy...only that he says 'he loves his psycho'
This says a lot.
I wonder if you would be so keen to step into a dying womans shoes if he wasn't showering you with gifts and a house? (I noticed you mentioned the lawyer...don't wanna let that house get away from you now do we!!)
You keep him hooked with the one thing he doesn't get from his poor partner...sex and when you arn't getting your own way you go psycho on him!!
Are you really proud of this? Does it make you feel like a good human being?
Of course you'll blame him and if he wanted to end things he could blah blah blah...but you are a piece of work my dear, you're a gold digger, so why are you asking questions here when it's clear your plan is going perfectly?
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A
female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (4 October 2013):
 Let's recap.
You are dating a man who is already in another committed relationship. Whether he's unhappy or not, he's still with her. To add insult to injury, she is sick with a potentially life-threatening disease and he's sneaking around on her? Do you hear yourself?
I think "psycho" is a bit of a strong word, and maybe an unfair one to use. I do think it's delusional to take this any further. If he'll cheat WITH you, he'll cheat ON you.
You're worth way more than what you're giving yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2013): Why r u jealous? OF his wife? You found yourself a sugar daddy, enjoy it while it lasts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2013): I personally think it's ridiculous ur with him in the first place!! He is married, but not only that, she has cancer. U should be ashamed of urself. If I were his wife and I found out about u is come looking for u!! He is building u a house.... Money certainly talks doesn't it... Or is it "love"!?
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